
MidnightCat
Still 3 more lives to go.
- Jan 1, 2023
- 314
I'm not specifically talking about the forum itself.
What's the reason you've got suicidal thoughts? Is there some triggers for you or things that help?
I would love to know the histories of those who want to share, maybe as a vent, as advice or whatever the case may be.
In my case is a combination of depression and self-hatred.
It started when I was a teenager, I did not had the best self steem, things happened with my first gf and dedicated me a website about how disgusting I was, bullying and loneliness in general. I've always been really closely related to Borderline Personality Disorder (It was suggested a few times by doctors) witch did not help.
Used to self harm as a way of venting, been hospitalized for that, years keep flying by and the hatred I had for myself started to grow.
I'm now at the point that I cannot do anything without screaming at myself I'm a failure, I'm worthless and it's shameful others have breathe the same air I breathe. Just a waste of resources.
I've archieved a lot of things, most of them pretty hard and should feel proud of them. But, anything I can do or achive is simply not enough to diminish this thoughts.
I'm tired of fighting against this for more than half of my life, and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to stay here.
What's the reason you've got suicidal thoughts? Is there some triggers for you or things that help?
I would love to know the histories of those who want to share, maybe as a vent, as advice or whatever the case may be.
In my case is a combination of depression and self-hatred.
It started when I was a teenager, I did not had the best self steem, things happened with my first gf and dedicated me a website about how disgusting I was, bullying and loneliness in general. I've always been really closely related to Borderline Personality Disorder (It was suggested a few times by doctors) witch did not help.
Used to self harm as a way of venting, been hospitalized for that, years keep flying by and the hatred I had for myself started to grow.
I'm now at the point that I cannot do anything without screaming at myself I'm a failure, I'm worthless and it's shameful others have breathe the same air I breathe. Just a waste of resources.
I've archieved a lot of things, most of them pretty hard and should feel proud of them. But, anything I can do or achive is simply not enough to diminish this thoughts.
I'm tired of fighting against this for more than half of my life, and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to stay here.