• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

E

esistzeit

INFINITY
Jul 17, 2024
117
This might sound weird but my favorite video game. The aesthetics and soundtrack were so good, it truly changed my life. There's one track in particular that makes my feel really content and that my life is fading into something beautiful. Also my fam ofc because I love them a lot.
What game is it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
annointed_towers

annointed_towers

Cursed by God
Dec 9, 2022
315
All the regret, what could have been if I hadn't messed up and cursed God in a moment of rage
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,944
Fear and peace. Which order, I don't know, but I hope it's fear and then peace. I would rather not die in fear. But after surviving multiple serious attempts I know there will be no avoiding the fear. I have too much PTSD from it, fear is inevitable. I just have to keep myself calm enough to allow the process to happen. Hopefully peace will set in and I can fall asleep.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome, wren-briar, nasigoreng99 and 1 other person
Arachno

Arachno

oh no :(
Apr 10, 2023
249
My last thoughts will also be about the things I didn't achieve, and then hoping that there gonna is be nothing or at least something good after death and then fear that I will fail.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: wren-briar, tiemedowm and esistzeit
N

nasigoreng99

Member
Aug 23, 2024
97
I am free 💛
Peaceful and joy that the suffering finally ends.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wren-briar
nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
739
Actually, there have been some recent studies on what happens just before people pass. It looks like the brain gets flooded by memories sort of in a comforting manner. More studies are needed, of course and of course they're challenging to conduct.

I just hope I am not thinking about an ex or something lmao, or my toxic parents. But until then I'll probably be worried until my last breath "shit, what if this doesn't work and I wake up in a psych ward".

I always joke that when I am found, it will make the news because I will have the biggest smile on my face and everyone will be like - omg we've never seen a dead person smiling! I know I'd be smiling in some way because I will finally be so relieved.
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: LittleJem, MeowWantsToGoHome, wren-briar and 1 other person
unsaiddes

unsaiddes

Member
Apr 25, 2023
74
Realistically, despite how intoxicated I plan on being, I'll likely think of nothing but pure panic and pain from drowning. If I can calm myself down enough to think clearly before everything goes black, I'd like the last thing I think about to be my mom. She was always my biggest comfort.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
J

JR_Timm

Member
Sep 10, 2024
28
Probably relief and satisfaction that I`m leaving on my own terms.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wren-briar
C

ctbusser

Member
Sep 10, 2024
28
Hopefully remembering positive moments from this life and thoughts of something better afterwards
 
  • Love
Reactions: wren-briar
SoulWhisperer

SoulWhisperer

Careless Soul « MtF »
Nov 13, 2023
362
Either I'll feel like the stupidest person on this world or the smartest. I don't think I'll find something between.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar
T

Trav1989

Experienced
Jun 2, 2024
250
I'll likely just have a clear head and embrace nature for one last time because everything that involves humans has caused me severe emotional anguish.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: wren-briar and alienfreak
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,269
"Where do I collect my refund?"
 
  • Yay!
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: LittleJem, MeowWantsToGoHome, wren-briar and 4 others
twin size mattress

twin size mattress

Member
Oct 1, 2023
36
I'm not sure. Im hoping im not gonna freak out about the possibility of failing, although as SI kicks in i most likely will. I hope i feel some kind of euphoria or relief once my body realizes that it's over tho.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
797
In the moment before I pull the trigger, I'll probably be thinking utterly nothing and feel completely at peace for the first time
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: wren-briar and nihilistic_dragon
okie dokie

okie dokie

enjoy the unknown
Sep 20, 2023
37
you will never know until it happens. i just hope i'm happy. i think i'll be sad because i'm leaving my cats behind.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: AtheistCDsissy, wren-briar and NoPoint2Life
Gstreater

Gstreater

Member
Aug 10, 2024
79
My family and friends probably they were the only thing keeping me around so remembering the good times wouldn't be q bad way to go out.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wren-briar
Todsünde

Todsünde

witnessing the battle between my body and my soul
Apr 20, 2024
33
I don't think I will know now what might be my final thought. I slipped away after attempts multiple times now and thought that would be it and my last thoughts have always been the most random shit. Like one time I was rly sad I wouldn't witness the end of One Piece.
 
  • Love
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
E

esistzeit

INFINITY
Jul 17, 2024
117
I don't think I will know now what might be my final thought. I slipped away after attempts multiple times now and thought that would be it and my last thoughts have always been the most random shit. Like one time I was rly sad I wouldn't witness the end of One Piece.
Dude, nobody's gonna see the end of one piece...
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
yellowjester

yellowjester

Specialist
Jun 2, 2024
330
"Fuck all the SN haters, this shit works like a charm."
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36 and wren-briar
V

VoidedExistence

Student
Dec 6, 2023
100
"Damn. I did it. Finally."
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
Davey40210

Davey40210

Even the stars make room for new stars
Sep 3, 2024
343
My last thoughts will be of me in immense pain and wishing that I was alive due to SI. This doesn't mean that I don't want to be dead. I do see death as a relief but, unfortunately, since the only suicide methods which I can access are the risky, painful and brutal ones, my final thoughts won't be nice.

If I were to die by euthanasia or nembutal, my final thoughts would be more positive and I'd be more focused on how I'd be in eternal peace after death. It's so cruel that I'm forced to die brutally. I loathe other humans so much for making death extremely regulated

This is also my expectation. SI is powerful. I will probably claw at the rope trying to get relief. I just hope it will last briefly.

With a more humane method I would probably think about my ex gf and how I messed things up with her. And my siblings for having to go through the trauma of my CTB.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: wren-briar
ebg

ebg

Student
Sep 30, 2024
111
"Aight imma head out"
 
  • Love
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
redkitsune98

redkitsune98

Broken beyond repair
Sep 2, 2024
181
I'll imagine the life I wanted to live with my soulmate as if it had actually happened
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: divinemistress36 and wren-briar
-nobodyknows-

-nobodyknows-

Mage
Jun 16, 2024
501
It will probably be me worrying how my death will affect people and how I wish I was a stronger person.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
P

pariah80

Specialist
Aug 12, 2024
346
I hope nothing. I want to have the serenity to pull the trigger and hope to expire at that point. Whatever happens after that is out of my control, unless I gain consciousness in some sort of soul form. I just want to be gone. Thinking only strengthens the SI and causes me to stall. I'm tired of stalling and bullshitting. I want out.
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar
Jarni

Jarni

Love is a toothache in the heart. H.Heine
Dec 12, 2020
379
"I have no choice, I have no choice..."
 
disjectamembra

disjectamembra

the universe is going to catch you
Oct 1, 2024
64
thinking about my cats, my siblings and how sorry i am that i didnt try harder
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: wren-briar
Valhala

Valhala

Experienced
Jul 30, 2024
215
It's really difficult to answer that question, but somehow I'm convinced that SI and the corresponding thoughts that go with it are what will preoccupy me. Honestly, considering that the reason for my eventual CTB is the breakup of the relationship with the woman I only truly loved and that I am the one who ended that relationship (despite the fact that I loved her and that I still love her more than anything). We are literally one soul in two bodies and this feeling of guilt eats me up and prevents me from functioning further in this life. We are still somehow connected on a mental level (dreams, thoughts), but she cannot (because of her hurt) get over my mistakes and doesn't believe that I love her, and I don't seem to have any possibility to prove it to her. There is no such thing as not I would do it to prove it to her and somehow get her back. This stalemate is unbearable, my loneliness without her is absolute and I know that no one can ever replace her. I have the possibility to have more relationships and I even know that several women are emotionally attached to me and that he loves me but I really am not able to have any emotional or physical contact with any other woman except her. I can't be alone but I can't be with anyone else but her, this is unbearable and indescribably painful. Only because of her I'm still not CTB because maybe all is not lost for us.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AllTheseQuestions
killorbekilled

killorbekilled

manhwa reader, mentally unwell
Oct 3, 2024
65
I'll probably just feel numb and empty, thinking that this is finally it. I will also pray that my next life will be an Isekai to a better place, or to not be reincarnated at all.
 
  • Love
Reactions: MeowWantsToGoHome and wren-briar

Similar threads

Moonlight Roses
Replies
0
Views
124
Suicide Discussion
Moonlight Roses
Moonlight Roses
helloandbye1
Replies
1
Views
132
Suicide Discussion
hop33xit
hop33xit
V
Replies
3
Views
139
Suicide Discussion
SVEN
S
F
Replies
14
Views
325
Suicide Discussion
kitkat9234
K