Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[tonicer]

The only person that keeps me going got diagnosed with cancer. I was never this scared in my life. I am usually the one who fixes problems for others but in this situation i am completely powerless. If cancer takes me mother i have zero reasons to stay alive. I'm a KHHV and i also have no real friends anymore and at 43 i don't know how and where to even make new friends. I lost my job 3 years ago so i can't even bury myself in work. I hate this.

 

[Manaaja]

Glory to all the species which don't have domestic abuse

 

[LonelyOutcast0528]

Ecstatic at the sight of the West finally collapsing and Islam conquering it, bringing an end to this modern Jahiliyyah

 

[CTB Dream]

this all awfl pain sffr this rly awfl wrld no psbl anyy

 

[CTB Dream]

This rly all plnt all lif wrs this all dtriort all end this rlty no mtr do all nnsnsn time mov mov dtriorit

 

[hangingclothes]

can a stray bullet just hit me already

 

[Zyntkalla]

I am upset because my parents keep talking about my epilepsy episodes & they want me to wear my necklace or bracelet so other people know just in case it happens. And I don't want to wear it because I feel more useless not like I want to but it makes me feel worse. And I can't wait until CTB because they will feel worse & they think they already do. If you think that is horrible to think then try to be in my shoes.

 

[cowgirlmagic]

I don't know if I can hold it together much longer

 

[4colliez]

Im doing it again. Maybe I really just am the worst thing in the life of everyone who's met me. Maybe that's what lead to all of this

 

[seeyoulater26]

I don't want to be heartbroken anymore, but I still am. Deeply. I tried everything. It's been over a year and I still feel so defeated. I sat with the grief, I didn't use anyone to move on, I focused on my goals, I kept my body active, I've been saying kind things to myself, I did things that made me happy, but I still remember, remember, remember and THAT HURTS! I'm remembering you longer than I knew you.
I wish you'd just killed me when you left.
I hope one day, this makes sense. I don't know why the universe felt the need to humble me like that.
I feel so humiliated giving in and thinking it was finally my turn.

 

[darksouls]

loading is very slowly today

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I don't think I can make a life or career from this point and I am just delaying the inevitable. A life full of trauma,abuse,neglect and adverse experiences can fuck up a person to the point of no return. I just wish to have a way for peaceful exit at this point. I regret throwing my SN 3 years ago. Life is not for me

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I've been on this forum since I started college and have now graduated.

Thanks for keeping me here, I guess?

 

[Manaaja]

If a friend means someone who helps you in a way you need to be helped, then who the fuck even has friends?

I wish people couldn't talk, so that when someone needs help, others couldn't think "I said a few words, that means I'm a good person!".

Your only options would be to do something or admit you are evil.

 

[NSA]

There's nothing i cant figure out.

 

[violetforever]

im watching gilmore girls with my grandma and theyre debating assisted suicide lol

 

[darksouls]

anxious and worried because I often get kicked out of sasu

 

[meiherasayuri]

Misfortune haunts me more and more each day, why me, why me? I've fallen so low this time, why did I think I'd have a chance? I'm stupid, stupid,That's how I feel, stupid, maybe because I am

 

[MissAbyss]

Crawling through life for even the smallest right to exist, to be loved, to be seen, and to feel safe, only to receive the exact opposite. And then, the moment the longing finally fades, it suddenly appears right in front of you, yet you find yourself unable to receive it. Yes, my whole life is a joke, and so am I.

 

[Done_with_the_world]

Useless…I feel totally useless and like my whole life was designed to make me suffer. I despise everyone who contributed to making me this way. I can't believe I'm actually 26, thought I would be dead by the time I was 17. I always knew I would never permanently find peace or acceptance anywhere. I'm just too…different. And I hate having to do this every day…I hate my damn autism, ADHD, depression and borderline. I hate having to take pills just to feel okay. Nothing is okay…and I have to find peace with the fact that it will never be okay because I have felt this way since I was 13. And I know nobody will ever love me truly. My mom says she does, but she doesn't like the me that is difficult.

I hate the fact that I was turned into this…thing. I never asked to be sexually assaulted as a child, abused and expected to be perfect at everything I did, lose almost everyone I loved, and bullied to the point where I almost died. I'm so sick of it all, and I lowkey hate people now because I see everyone as selfish and horrible. If the world was so good, somebody would help me, somebody would save me. And nobody did. And the people who tried, all died.

 

[darksouls]

I am nervous because I got kicked out again and had no access to sasu for a few hours

 

[peacebenow]

Debilitated

 

[prmsenottotellshh]

Anxious af. A heavy pit is sitting inside me even though I'm doing nothing anxiety inducing. Im literally just lying down on my couch.

 

[Tomorrow Is Today]

I feel undeserving. Objectively I have all the tools to 'rebuild' my life but I don't see the appeal. I can take 1 more year off university until I have to relinquish my place. I have a supportive family who's shouldering the financial burden while they wait for me to recover. I have a good support system of ride or die friends who always check in on me.

I can't help but think that there's someone out there who would benefit so much more from what I have. There's people that desperately want to live and would thrive under my circumstances. The guilt has been growing the more I idle and wait to die. I wish a freak accident just happens so I don't have to think about how I consciously wasted so much potential.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm so tired of being considerate, both online and in person. A lot of people don't deserve my kindness. What they deserve is to feel my thumbs push through their retinas into their brain tissue.

 

[Lapdog6795]

Why am I still not doing ctb

 

[violetforever]

when have my words or crying ever had an effect on anyone? i cant think of one time where showing vulnerability was met with real concern or made a positive difference. if anything, it made the already negative situations more negative. i learned that anything i feel has no impact on anyone. so i wont really bother to show or communicate it anymore.

 

[db1972]

I am Fit For Fuck All !!!

 

[hangingclothes]

my cheap headphones and mouse just broke.. what the hell am i supposed to do with my free time if i can't even play games or make music properly. i'm tired

 

[scordatura]

Things are okay just now. Although it's got a bittersweetness...

Unsure what I'm doing going forward from now on...