Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[GreyCTB]

I'm starting to feel my survival instict getting stronger now. I will attempt ctb the day after tomorrow. I have wanted this for months and months. But now that it's getting close I'm starting to have second thoughts, and my heartbeat going up when I'm thinking about it. Being a human is not fun

 

[Sakura94]

I took myself back to bed today so fed up of feeling ill.

 

[jenycosmos33]

VERY Lonely (I dont have anyone to talk about my feelings), nostalgic and bored.
For me, staying alive is so painful, i always have something that makes me feel very unconfortable inside.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I'm too tired to think or do anything. Nothing feels good... I try to be how I should be, I can't. And I can't leave yet, so I just sleep.... And wait. I'm empty, I don't know what I feel? Pain is awful now, cold weather is killing me and medicines don't work.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A black hole of despair is swallowing me up but it won't kill me. That would be too easy.
It just continually sucks the life out of me.
So tired... Just want to sleep permanently.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Idk. Apathetic? Like, how does my family expect me to keep up a healthy diet if every time I eat something, they make a comment about it? Not to mention them watching/reading all of this depressing shit on/in the news.

 

[Nanako]

I feel very afraid and uncertain. I just want it to end.

 

[VirtualSnow]

JUST FUCK MY LIFE

 

[Lostandlooking]

Maybe I should have killed myself in september 2020. I'm thinking of scenarios that will bring me back to similar circumstances, even the same place. Imagining where and how I would kill myself. How it would feel. I feel angry and want to break things. Destroy some things. There has been no coming back after that last crisis. Or will I be able to forget eventually? Somehow that disgusts me.

 

[Nolan96]

I'm very scared. I want to be a good person in good faith. I also feel crushingly alone, like the people closest to me are drifting through another dimension even though I love them and I want some kind of human connection that feels real like human connections used to. I feel like I'm rotting and running out of air, but somehow I've managed the energy to just keep shambling around more frantically than ever before keeping on top of things. I intend to continue doing so if I can. I very much want to be a decent person and I'm very hurt and afraid.

 

[Zegers]

Spending a lot on amazon, food delivery, basically living like a streamer but without the dosh they have

 

[pinnsvin]

Numbness and exhaustion. I hope I can ctb within this month.

 

[jodes2]

I hate that I'm having doubts about CTBing in the near future, I just want to be gone. I need to accept that I'll be leaving grieving people behind, this life is not enough to sustain me. Is it early SI or recovery or something else?

I'm too tired to think or do anything. Nothing feels good... I try to be how I should be, I can't. And I can't leave yet, so I just sleep.... And wait. I'm empty, I don't know what I feel? Pain is awful now, cold weather is killing me and medicines don't work.

Which of your meds aren't working? Sorry to hear that

 

[Life_and_Death]

the human race was doomed the second we started having our own thoughts

 

[InjuredBrainGamer]

My bodys PTSD fight or flight response randomly turns on and I feel anxiety and heart palpitations and I have to relax my body through medical cannabis and laying down

 

[anxious_depressive]

I feel like a stupid and useless piece of shit.
I hate myself.
I didn't have to be born.
I'm so hurt and scared.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I just want someone to kill me.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Stressed. I am absolutely going to fail my test tomorrow. There's nothing that will stop it.

 

[jodes2]

It's groundhog day, folks! Sigh

Stressed. I am absolutely going to fail my test tomorrow. There's nothing that will stop it.

What test is that? *Hugs* let us know how it goes

 

[WhatPowerIs]

It's groundhog day, folks! Sigh

What test is that? *Hugs* let us know how it goes

Groundhog Day! I certainly know what it feels like to be trapped in a time loop haha

It's a math test. Because of the math class I'm in (lowest level) we have a test every Friday. I passed last week's one but now I feel like everything suddenly just ramped up and I'm nowhere near as confident for this approaching one compared to last week's. Ugh.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Frusterated, pissed. I'm a gr10 (gr11??) dropout (I got kicked out a couple months into the years so I'm not sure what counts cuz I didn't really learn or do anything in gr11) and I'm smarter/better at things then my bosses. I noticed problems and mistakes in doctors/scientists work. Like dudes, you're suppose to be a million times better than me. And this is why it's beyond stupid that the only thing employers look at is that stupid piece of paper. Personally what isn't on paper is so much more important. You didn't go to school, the info wasn't handed to you. It's impressive you did it on your own. Stupid humans.

 

[Lullaby]

So tired of this. Every day, more hoops to jump through or more disappointment waiting. Go to sleep, only to wake up to deal with the exact same stuff all over again.

This is absolutely exhausting and no way to live. There's no break in sight.

 

[unnoticed]

stuck. trapped, empty, aimless, numbed.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

let us know how it goes

I think I did okay... it's hard to tell anymore. The test was short. Idk. I'll see my results on Monday presumably. Don't have much faith in myself though.

 

[Zegers]

I hung out with a girl like friends and she never spoke to me again, good ghosting, these things undermine your confidence.

 

[jodes2]

Bored out of my mind. TV isn't helping. I'm having trouble following SS chat as well. Is boredom an ok reason to CTB? I don't know. My gf would say not.

 

[InjuredBrainGamer]

I feel like society is backwards in not understanding reincarnation and I feel let down that we are not allowed to pass away without searching long and finding the resources to do so by ourselves, I am trapped in an injured body.

 

[Lullaby]

I just wake up to more problems, every single day at this point. It's not even 12pm yet and so much has happened that fell into my lap…I'm tired of this. I just want to go back to sleep and not wake up again.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i dont feel good enough. i hate myself. i want to cut. i want to roll a joint. im tired.
not suicidal but, sleeping forever seems nice..

 

[WhatPowerIs]

i dont feel good enough. i hate myself. i want to cut. i want to roll a joint. im tired.
not suicidal but, sleeping forever seems nice..

i hate myself too. i wish there was an easier way to get rid of the self-loathing.