Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Manaaja]

Note to self: Remember that zinc makes you dehydrated, so when you take zinc, remember to drink more.

I'm feeling sick, probably because of all the mold, dust, mildew, stress. Awful brainfog.

 

[Interloper]

Looking into doing an N taste test but it for that I seem to need a syringe with a needle as to not ruin the rubber stop and holy fuck I forgot how just seeing needles makes me feel horrible. I actually think I'm gonna pass out if I keep looking at the needle tab.

 

[xLosthopex]

I am in so much psychological pain it's unbearable. Our government announced suddenly today that all Covid restrictions will be lifting tomorrow, after 2 years of lockdown and/or some form of restrictions, and this news is overwhelming to me. I can't just go back to 'normal life' when I'm suffering this much. It takes every single ounce of strength in my body to force myself to get through each day as it is, and that's just to do the absolute bare minimum. I can't fucking do this anymore. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

 

[TheHatedOne]

the cold is only getting worse even if I treat myself thoroughly. I'm angry at everything. fuck this bullshit,.

 

[Seaghost]

I'm feeling hunted.
Ativan? Yes? No? Yes? No? Yes? No? Yes? No?
And I need to go shopping today. There are much more people in the in the stores than during the week.
And...how can I buy something to eat if I should be prepared to pay more money back than I have....

How should I fight when my weapen is desintegrating????
I wanted to get away from that all shit, now it's coming back like a Boomerang.

 

[Manaaja]

Water will choose the path of least resistance, they say human is mostly water.

It's okay to want comfort.

I'm feeling really bad and sick, way too sick to write full sentences. I think I'll try to find a new place on Monday. The more time I spend outside this hellhole the better I feel, the more I spend here the worse I feel. I wish I could take a shower, but like I have said a million times for the last half a year, I don't have clean water, I can't shower. I feel like I have a fever of 40 celsius.

Fucking narcissistic relatives, denying clean water, drinking water, showers from me. They threw my stuff into a pissrotten moldy place without my permission. They are the ultimate evil.

I hope Gods will save me.

If I'm behaving really oddly, it's because of this illness, I'm not being myself at all. I hope this too will pass. I don't want to die like this. I like to die on my own terms. In a nice home.

 

[Lefty]

Just feeling meh and a little annoyed.

 

[9BBN]

Very scared of my family. Scared of who I used to be. I know I'm different now but my motivation is gone.

 

[Foresight]

groggy

 

[rata1]

emptiness

 

[TheHatedOne]

my cold kinda got better but I still feel miserable ofc/

 

[odradek]

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so trapped, like the walls are closing. I'm suffocating. I'm lost. I've put myself in an impossible situation and I can't see the way out. There's no way I can do this without bringing others down with me. I broke everything. I'll break everyone.

I'm so desperate yet so quiet. It's a silent madness. I'm so alone but all I want is to be alone and it's the one thing I can't have. I am defeated, dead; paradoxically I still draw breath. Broken beyond repair yet unable to stop... Impossible. Where is my mind?

 

[Kristicide]

Drunk and on xanax and feeling really good and very excited for my sn to arrive. Not scared in the least. I'm mega excited!

 

[Circles]

Maybe I'm just so resistant to what normal people talk about, but whenever I hear someone say to 'fix your depression' as I just did on Reddit earlier I just feel invalidated or something. Like I've dealt with this shit most of my pathetic life it's not as fixable as you make it sound to be. And just like a mental illness I'm always going to be dealing with to some degree so I don't get how it's fixable like goddamn. I can understand that after a while that it can become tolerable or something but fixable sounds as if the depression will end altogether forever like wtf. I really need to stop talking about my problems on Reddit.

 

[littlelungs]

It feels like there's corrosive acid running through my veins. There's kratom and the Tramadol I get prescribed and everything else I need to take in order to get through the day by the skin of my ass, but they wear off eventually, and I still have to be careful with the Tramadol intake so as to not completely fuck with my tolerance... it's all just self-directed palliative care when it comes down to it. Every single cell of my body feels so sick.

 

[Manaaja]

I felt emotionally bad when I woke up, but at least I didn't feel sick. But lo and behold, a few minutes after rising I feel really sick and ten times worse emotionally. I also forgot what world I was in. I wonder how many worlds there are, since often when I wake up I think "What a nice world! I love living in here! Oh shit! Why I am in this world?!"

I like life, when I'm living in video games, books, etc. But then when I'm here, it's like "This is death! I don't want to be dead, I want to live!". None of this feels real.

My head still isn't working. I feel really awful. I hope I'll feel much better soon.

 

[xrosex]

Disappointed, ashamed and doubt I will ever change. I'm so messed up, I'm pathetic and don't deserve anything good

 

[Sherri]

Scared almost out of meds, forced to tamper till the 25th or will be caught by the doctor and possible sanctions if I ask before that date.

 

[Manaaja]

I keep rabidly alternating between "I feel so sick, I'm gonna die this second" and "I feel okay".

I hope I'm feeling much better soon. I wish I could live in a clean world.

EDIT: Feeling really OOC, I wonder if this is partly because of the cleaning thing I bought and of course sprayed in between every window frame and door frame and a few other places. I have aired lots of times after it and it was a few days ago, but this house sucks so much that clean air barely moves in while of course all the mold and mildew come in. I have also alternated between horny and really un-horny. I hate this. I wish things will be better soon, really much better really soon.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Mixed feelings... Damn you. I cried days, I was almost fine and I said goodbye... and then you came back. You can't let me go but you can't keep me either, perfect. I love, hate... I'm sad, confused. I don't feel anything. I dont want see your face or hear anything from you, but still I want. Like always. This is some sick, weird relationship what I want more than anything.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel tired, I will never not feel tired. I do not belong here, I belong in the eternal nothingness. Nothing makes me feel better. The days are long and empty, there is no reason for me to stay, nothing will ever take away the emptiness. I would like to forget this life and move on. I would like to be nothing.

 

[Circles]

Maybe this is just another suicide phase, but I honestly feel ready to do it. I want to kill myself so goddamn badly I can taste death already. I just suck at life so fucking much goddamn I fucking absolutely excruciatingly hate life to the core of my inner being that I wish I could vomit from how sick and tired I fucking am of it all. I fucking HATE it.
FUCK!!!!

 

[settheory]

vnsidfnviuofbvuierv
This is pretty much what i can type without thinking. But seriously, my brain is kind of a mess lately.

 

[readyforsleep]

desperate, confused, miserable

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Trapped in my own body,depressed and alone

 

[Hewburt]

Really sick, lots of pain, ready to go

 

[BrokenUntilTheEnd]

I feel tired. So tired. Nothing is working out. Every day is another battle against my own brain. I just want rest. Calm. But it's not like that.

I try so hard to get things done, but I just get stuck attacking myself and doing nothing. I lose hours of time and can't make sense of why everything around me is such a mess.

I feel hopeless. My best efforts are not enough.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Wandering through the days feels as worse than ever. I want to rush to my final day but at the same time I don't. FUck.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I am so damn stressed out. I'm running on empty.

 

[thinkkank]

anxious, depressed, the usual