Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Seaghost]

For the thousendsth of time this Fatique and Darkness came and eat me from inside and I can't do anything than just wait.
No gods or universe make it end. My personally prison is life itself. Thinking of times when all that wasn't yet. Must have been in another universe.
I want to fade away. I want this to stop.
Just wait till its over is not enough.
And above all this hovers loneliness even when people are around me....
I don't know who else to pray to.
Prison everything is prison.

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

Most importantly fact is that I decided to no longer live in my childhood home and run away. Short story: my parents rented a room for me where I study on an university and I should get a degree after 3 years, now it's a 5 year for me. I go by train two times for week bc I have only 3 classes. And my "father" lost his license drive a few months ago, surprise, surprise, bc he drank beers next day after drinking vodka on Saturday. Nobody seems his abusive behavior and problem with drinking. I don't care anymore bc he didn't change a thing after he told me to CTB last year. I'm too tired and it's affecting my therapy bc I can move on.
So I will try to convince my grandparents and uncle (they live together, now it's his house) to live with them soon until I get my degree, find a job and place to live. I don't to ask anyone for many.
But if it wouldn't work I need a backup plan and it's literally running away. I have some money, but it's not much before I could find a job (where I need a place to stay with an address). I don't have any contact with my old friends. I don't want to stop studying and having a therapy every week. But I can't live in this life anymore after I changed and grow up. Does someone have any thoughts or tips about living on the streets or legal advice? I just know I have my rights and my sister lied to a curator at an unannounced hearing, when I was in another city. I know my laws can be different in someone else county, but I don't know, go straight to the curator, testimony on a court next month, blackmail? I just want it to stop.