HereTomorrow

HereTomorrow

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
553
Eating a ton of protein, and that's literally it. I ate half a block of tofu and special added protein yogurt. That's all I ate. I'm okay. Not happy, not sad, maybe a little anxious because I'm recovering from an earlier emotional overwhelm, but I'm okay. Yeah, I'm okay.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
397
final. that's it. that's all i'm feeling.
 
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fleetingnight

fleetingnight

incapable of shutting up
May 2, 2024
648
Why can't it be as simple as taking a whole lot of OTC pills? I just want to go. I'm so exhausted. Every morning, I'm terrified when I think about the fact I have to live another day. Why can't I just die? Why isn't it easy for me?
 
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GlassMoon

GlassMoon

trapped in a maze
Nov 18, 2024
58
I'm terrified, but there's no physical threat, only somebody who is sad and angry waiting for me to talk to them. But it will hurt, and I don't want to be hurt in this way again...
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,261
I'm scared because there's nothing I can do. I have no way to alleviate my suffering. I'm just forced to stay alive until natural death. I have no liberty or control to kill myself
 
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ebg

ebg

Student
Sep 30, 2024
111
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
404
Headache
 
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Seaghost

Seaghost

Specialist
Apr 14, 2019
304
empty and at the same time under pressure.

I haven't been here so much lately and tried to solve my problem and surviving life. Didn't work well.
So I'm back and you know how it is.

Would be happy if Fentanyl would be rechable...I'm sitting once more at the edge of my life and have a look how it shouldn't work.
 
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Electra

Electra

In sleep's embrace, forever estranged
Jul 1, 2024
97
Tense. I feel tension.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,949
I'm hungry but I'm too tired to go and fix up some breakfast. There's a battle raging between my tired body and my hungry tummy... My tummy is starting to take the lead...
 
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billie

billie

sad and suicidal
Mar 31, 2024
412
i'm worthless
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,623
Rly hard say wrd
 
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BlendedHeart

BlendedHeart

It is what it is
Mar 9, 2024
213
I was thinking I can't remember the last time I actually laughed at something.

Not a courtesy laugh, not air coming out of my nostrils, not thinking "huh, that's funny", not a tiny "hehe".

An actual, visceral, involuntary belly laugh.

Even with the few sitcoms and youtube shows that I like, they don't provoke those types of reactions anymore.

I guess I'm so used to feel anger, sadness and indifference all of the time that I forgot you're supposed to laugh sometimes.
 
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cowchow308

cowchow308

Scarlet eyes
Dec 9, 2024
4
I just thought of an old willow tree, I saw one a couple weeks ago and I've been thinking about it for a while.

I took a picture, here ya go.
Screen Shot 2024 12 10 at 115935 PM
 
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Electra

Electra

In sleep's embrace, forever estranged
Jul 1, 2024
97
My chest being pressed by something.
 
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HereTomorrow

HereTomorrow

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
553
I left work and when I was about to drive into the intersection, a guy speed faster than at least 70 mph on the highway past a red that was there for 10 seconds. If I didn't hesitate on the intersection and drove a second earlier, I probably would of been directly struck on the side.

I'm unharmed, but if it stuck and killed instantly, I wouldn't mind.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,535
I dread every day!!!! 😭 Anxiety is off the charts..... I don't know how I'm keeping it together.
The holidays are making it worse. When will this madness end???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
 
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A

angelfeather

Student
Oct 31, 2020
184
I'm feeling confused. I've emailed my therapist to say I'm finishing with him. I know it's for the best as I feel I'm done with talking. I have now relapsed and my eating disorder is back. Therapy obviously worked right?! I also had my stockpiled medication took off me. Now I feel unsafe. Some people just don't understand how things work in my brain.
 
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Electra

Electra

In sleep's embrace, forever estranged
Jul 1, 2024
97
I felt abandoned in the morning. Now I feel like I'm in reclamation.
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,630
Overall very anxious and a little desperate. Carrying a sad hollow (and heavy) empty feeling inside too.
 
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belly.up4good

belly.up4good

Member
Dec 10, 2024
25
I'm listening to music and it's such a chore, yes even to listen to music. I give myself a lot of stuff to do so I guess I don't look forward to it, in this case keep a bunch of new songs open in tabs, and it's 99+. Also just cried and everytime I do, I hope for some kind of magic that they can hear me and stop what they're doing that hurts me. I wondered if replying would lead to any good, maybe even a friend. I thought about how ironic it is, when people online agree with eachother that they're lonely, recieve millions of likes on their comment, and you know, we could all make eachother not lonely. I guess it's online, and too be honest I'm not really trying to make online friends anymore, I used to have an active online social life, but you know, it's tiring, it used to be fun but it also reminds me how alone I am in real life
 
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NullSz00

NullSz00

Full-Swing Sayonara
Feb 22, 2024
214
So... there's the Sonic 3 Movie, the Xenoblade X remaster, possibly the Switch 2 and now they announced a new Ōkami game...

Man, the world really doesn't want me to kill myself huh...
 
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HereTomorrow

HereTomorrow

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
553
Family all chipped in to buy me a giant stuffed animal I've been eying since July and when visiting the online shop it is now "Retired", no longer being made in production, and sold out.

The last batch was three weeks ago, they've been selling that design for at least five years. I was three weeks late.

It's got me feeling something, something weird. I might buy another design from a Japanese company I just discovered for myself, but it's not giant, barely 2 feet. I love an extremely uncommon animal and the one company I've been eying is the only one that makes one bigger than three feet stopped making it.

I just want something to rest my soul upon to make up for the lack of human company in my life...it's been fun.
 
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Electra

Electra

In sleep's embrace, forever estranged
Jul 1, 2024
97
I feel undecided. The slight headache makes me think I'm stressed and anxious. But I'm trying to calm myself down. Overwhelmed overall.
 
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foreverlanguish

foreverlanguish

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ sleepy in a heaven's sprawl
Dec 7, 2024
71
Tired. Tired of people treating me like I'm a little baby who can't think for herself.
 
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Alcoholic Teletubby

Alcoholic Teletubby

Rip in piss
Jan 10, 2022
400
I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate my college. I hate everything.
 
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Alcoholic Teletubby

Alcoholic Teletubby

Rip in piss
Jan 10, 2022
400
Got 61% on my final Government exam (I could have done better, but I'm so fucking tired of this shit), really want to just sell myself to earn money and live bms, autistic and constantly under the guise of self-inflicted confusion/regression or reminiscing about the bad stuff that happened to me.

I don't know why I bother at this point decides the actual fear that comes with the progress of ctb. I actually wish someone 2ould just kill me or something. But, I don't want extrapolations, hypotheses, or pity.

I want this shit to either get better, or end.
 
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