Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Lost
Dread
Exhaustion
Confusion

 

[nothingnobody]

i dont understand how its possible to be this sad. i dont know how anyone does anything. i dont know anything about being alive.

why does it matter that im sad? everyone else seems to be fine.

 

[muzzle]

ostracized

 

[Mr2005]

Disappointed, shut out and fuming

 

[CTB Dream]

No have any do all lose, no resn stay no able wrt story no able do any no have slf lose all skl tlnt etc ,no mthd

 

[Praestat_Mori]

a little bit drunk and relaxed while in the same time being a bit hopeful (but for what? I have to figure that out) and in the same time as usual not really motivated

 

[astamyr]

floating on the river and without the strength to row or even move

 

[cgrtt.brns]

my stupid fucking brain is the cause of all my problems why does my brain hate me so much why does it do this to me why is it causing me to suffer so much its all my fault why is my brain like this its all in my head i just want to shoot myself in the head amd destroy my fowl rotten disgusting pathetic useless excuse for a brain

 

[Seaghost]

Again a mail from the department and again it's making me so desperate
They don't want to pay the rent in the usual amount no longer.
It's so fuckin difficult tu survive (not to live). So piss of you official fuckers. After an debate last year was everything allright.
Now the demon fights back.
Exausting exausting exausting.

Boy I try to be alive (really!!!) and don't ctb but why such things happen over and over again :((. So the spirit in the sky
just sayin: you'r not of worth, we only want to play with you. It's so much fun.
Ok...you had your fun for years now so byte through my throat to end this mess.
:((

 

[cgrtt.brns]

well quitting smoking didnt last long. i didnt even last a day. im just gonna have to stick to one a day to be able to afford it. idk how long thats gonna last either. i hate this.

 

[Kariope]

Bad. I feel like I'm wasting everyones time and resources. I'm taking up space at work from someone who won't kill themselevs and actually make it worth it. I'm wasting my friends times and just setting them up for hurt later on. I'm wasting my boyfriend's time, resources, love, everything. Just to break him sooner or later. He's the one I feel the worst for. He's so gentle and so nice to me. He does all he can to make it better but it won't get better it really never will. There's no cure. Eventually I'll do it and what will be left? All he invested into me and all these feelings, gone and turned into a horrible bitter feeling. It was a mistake to get involved. I don't want to hurt him.

 

[outatime_85]

Thought One:

I look in the mirror, and all I see is a self-hating, self-sacrificing, self-sabotaging, incompetent, socially isolated person whose family and the world would be better off if it did not exist.

Thought Two:

Time is running out for me.

There is no way back, and there is nothing to go back to.

I am on a farewell tour, and it's coming to an end.

Too many bad choices; not enough time to fix it; only enough time to see it end.

When the last grain of sand flows through the clock, my story ends.

No last-minute rescue, no sequel, no reboot I will just place me in a numbered plot.

The finality of my story has been told; the book closes, the picture fades to black, and the credits roll.

 

[Elle]

High - lost in my own thoughts

 

[Zegers]

Tired, empty, listless.

 

[outatime_85]

Until I am perfect, I will never be worthy.

 

[CTB Dream]

This me out flow space time, no have slf no have any

 

[alonely]

i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking kill myself i want to fucking be dead i am so done with this stupid fucking life i am so done with trying i give up its all fucking pointless i want to fucking die

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

really. cleaned up the house, spent a good day just to say one dumb thing with fwb to cancel
now im moaning out loud cuz the crash of expectations and rejection fucking ughhhhhhh

also I may have hit myself on the head and thighs and was tempted to bite my wrist in frustration

edit: drinking to take the edge off
also they admitted they were the asshole, not me, not that bad

still

ugh

fuking, ugh

 

[vitbar]

Lonely. I miss having a partner.

 

[StolenLife]

I got so scared and anxious today when the site was down. I don't know what I'd do without it, it's the only place where I feel understood. It actually calms my paranoia.

 

[Zegers]

When you book an airbnb but they forget to mention the detail that it's in Chinatown, crowded area, another shitty summer.

 

[CTB Dream]

Need ctb, but evn ctb money need also no have peace mthd ,v awfl life

 

[outatime_85]

As I was growing up, a few hypothetical situations were laid out for me. One such hypothetical involved a cliff or mountain (a person is stuck on a cliff; what do you do?). I said I would climb down; they said I couldn't; I said okay, I will climb up; they said nope, no up, no down; I said if I am blocked both ways, the story or game is over; the reply to me was yes, but what do you do? I said I would have no choice but to let whatever is blocking me get me or to jump.

Their response was, Pick one; what do you do? I said I would jump rather than be taken.

I asked them, So the hostage always dies, and their response was not always but sometimes. (Not everyone makes it in this world, or life, was their end statement.)

This left me wondering: Was I brought on to rock for sport? Is my life, and life in general, one big hunger game? and the only way to win in this world and in life is to make sure others don't.

That the only success seen is based on the number of zeros at the end of one's bank account.

Making the world better only counts if one can make a mint while doing it.

The thought that everyone and anyone can make something of themselves with hard work—is this only a dream and a slogan to feed the masses?

Is altruism a fool's errand in this world?

Is life really only about using people as stepping stones and leaving them behind, pulling up the ladder as one moves up?

Is life really a zero-sum game?

Sorry for the long post, and if it is incoherent.

 

[jazzcat]

I've been crying for hours, it's 3:48 am and I can't sleep. I really wanted to be happy, it's just not possible for me

 

[astamyr]

I am literally divided. one part of me is trying to find every opportunity to find hope, the other waiting the package for the chosen CTB method and wants to no longer exist

 

[Seaghost]

Thinking of SN...got it on a secret place.
I realley wanna make it...you know that thing called LIFE.
But failing again and again with that feelings/pain that I can't block/ignore/deactivate is so exhaustive.
I'm weak and burned out and tired.
I wanna enjoy life, having no pain inside my body or my mind. But reality is different.
Hey god (ya know this beeing which is ignoring holocaust/wars etc.) why I'm here once again???

Wanna sleep and cry but crying is making me more tired.

 

[Valky]

Really empty. I am tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep could fix. My mind is so loud and I don't know how to silence the voices.

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

tired, bored, not liking the fact that I have a strong head and don't know any dealers in the area (last /j)

 

[saddestbunny]

invalidated exhausted wanna die

 

[Daxter_87]

I feel like shit, but hey, that's nothing new. I like to listen to extremely wrathful or depressive death metal because, quite honestly, it's the only genre that suits my mood. My limited set of emotions ranges from mad angry pissed off to suicidally sad and depressed. Same old tired, exhausted brain.