Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[meowmeowkitty]

just so fucking lonely.

 

[jazzcat]

I wonder if I wouldn't be so sad if I wasn't so shy, extroverted and charming people seem so... different and vibrant, their lives seem different, almost like they're a different species
also I had a very hard conversation with my only two 'irl' friends three weeks ago and they haven't checked on me once, it might be their way of giving me space but they might also just don't care if I live or die honestly, that's the last time I ever try to be vulnerable with people in person

 

[enough of this]

Relief. I took a Klonopin 35 minutes ago. Anxiety is so much lower.

just so fucking lonely.

I'm so sorry. I know the feeling very well.
Please let me know if you'd care to chat.
I'm here for you. ♥

 

[Zegers]

Under these circumstances you can't feel any other way than such a loser. Days ago i went out for a drink with a guy, after a while two girls sat at the table, the girl i liked left with the guy while i was sitting there alone at the table. It's just a detail but my life is so awfully bad that it's ridiculous.

I feel like leaving this shitshow.

 

[uguufo]

I'm feeling very mixed. Working on a ctb plan but also still working on my mental health and trying to move my life forward? Feeling hopeless, lost my support system and don't know if or how I can do this by myself. Feeling tired that I keep trying to rebuild my life and work on myself, to varying degrees of success only for it to all crumble again and start from scratch. And every implosion of my life is more severe than the last.

 

[Usako0504]

I feel so fucking useless and sad.

 

[nerve]

officially getting to the age where the fact that ive completely failed to take care of myself and my body is starting to have consequences :( i never asked for this and now on top of the basic self-care i just can't seem to figure out, i have to be in pain and deal with doctors visits and medical bills...

 

[anxious_depressive]

I'm desperate .
I have a hard apathy.
I'm not interested in movies, music, series, books.
Nothing interests me.
I have no appetite.

Most of the time I just rot in my bed .
Useless, stupid, exhausted.

Recently, I accidentally cut my foot and what a pleasant pain it was!
For a moment, I felt alive.
But ...
I hate myself .
I just can't live.
So tired.

 

[CTB Dream]

Feel no need stsy life this awfl all simil pain sffr etc

 

[Salvation_]

I wish nobody would be able to find my body if I died.

 

[Dead Ghost]

Like a light in the midst of the darkness that tries to illuminate the path to its true destiny.
//
Com una llum enmig de la foscor que intenta iluminar el camí del seu veritable destí.
//
Como una luz en medio de la oscuridad que intenta alumbrar el camino de su verdadero destino.

 

[ghost44]

It's a curse to be here. Trapped. Lonely.

 

[delusionalgirl]

Wtf are these black shadows I keep seeing

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So tired... I could fall asleep sitting up. No energy as usual. Need to catch up on the music threads but I can't seem to do that either. If I didn't work tomorrow, I would have slept all day. Sleep is what I want most.
Can't wait to sleep forever.

 

[internetgirl]

eternal and constant fatigue.

 

[acerace]

I feel dead in a living body.
I feel empty with with a gaping hole trying to fill itself.
I feel useless and hopeless.
I feel frustrated with my SI instinct the only thing holding me back.

There is no aim in my life, no goal, no place to go.
I can't sit in my own silence without my thoughts attacking me.

 

[CTB Dream]

V awfl no able hv prvs slf stay this awfl, no resn stay hv no slf

 

[outatime_85]

These thoughts of mine were included with another post I made, but I felt they should stand alone.

Part 1:
Growing up in a family circle of "rugged individualism" and failing to meet their standards, they all get to see what happens when someone does not get proper life guidance and makes so many bad choices that they dig themselves into a hole they can no longer climb out of.

What does the family circle say to that person? "You will figure it out. You still have time. You have your whole life ahead of you."

They are oblivious to all that I am thinking and feeling, and they are still stuck in solve it yourself mode, yet these same people, on the day they are informed that I have finally ended my game, will ask why—why did they not ask for help? Why did they not say anything?

The same questions should have been asked while I was breathing.

Part 2:
Will they mourn my death? No, they will then ask those other simple questions: "How could they do this to us? Why did they do this to us? How could they embarrass us this way?

The funny thing is, they are all still watching my life in real time and have the opportunity to intervene, but they hold fast to "rugged individualism," so they will never help.

I am my family's real-life Wile E. Coyote: Instead of chasing a bird, I tried to chase life, and it eluded me because I didn't have the proper tools, and anyone who has seen Wile E. Coyote knows that ACME's complicated contraptions fail catastrophically, sending said user headed for the cliff.

So they are just waiting for the notification that my life has finally come to a catastrophic conclusion, after which they will change channels.

Sorry for my rambling or incoherence.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

tired, exhausted, fucked, no chance to escape and recovery impossible

 

[cgrtt.brns]

ive been all over the place this last week. i decided to quit caffeine bc of recent adhd diagnosis and im so irritable and the days seem so condensed but it feels like an eternity in the moment. i feel like im in another reality. nothing feels like it used to, and i cant tell if its good or bad, it just is. being autistic makes me afraid of change so maybe thats why im feeling so weird about feeling different. i dont even know how to describe it i just feel different, i still feel the same depression anxiety and all that but just something feels different and i cant tell what it is. i wonder if when the withdrawal symptoms wear off itll be easier to tell whats happening in my head. im just rly confused atm. everything kind of feels like a dark red velvet weight blanket over my head. idky it feels like that specifically i just keep seeing dark red velvet in my head and everything feels heavy. its kind of a similar shade to blood but it isnt blood, its like a soft velvet blanket. idk if that made any sense at all. i havent been on sasu a lot this past week just bc of how clouded and busy and confusing my head has been. i think my symptoms are starting to wear off a bit bc ive felt a tiny bit more conscious today. to anyone reading this i hope youve been ok this past week and i hope ur doing ok now. sending hugs to everyone.

 

[lokabe82]

Relatively chill. My car broke down and I have to call out of work tomorrow but everything feels fine

 

[junesloy]

Tired. i need to eat more because i barely eat so rn im just both mentally and physically tired.. too malnourished fr

 

[enough of this]

Loneliness

 

[lostlap]

Tired. Tired. Tired.

 

[MiseryWithoutCompany]

Emptiness. Aimless. Emotionless, yet a feeling of mourning hides on the horizon. Regert, heaviness, a small bubnle of comfort nudging towards sleep.

A standard "emotion" (or lscl there of) whil resting in the limbo between awake and drifting off. Big things happening tomorrow that may result in being taken adavantage of - assuming the worse, apathy replaces excitement.
Not good, not great. Just... here.

 

[Unattainable666]

Totally bored with life. Wish I could just ctb now.
Feeling so fucking tired of life. So tired ......

 

[dernieresolution]

Numb. Ive learnt to blunt my emotions. Its either that or I collapse.

Literally havent eaten in 48 hours, dont feel much but slight fatigue

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A. Depression
B. Cold
C. Flu
D. Covid
E. All Of The Above

Seriously... Haven't felt good all day. Super exhausted, Achey, Warm


Also sorry I haven't been able to keep up with the music threads. Just so tired.

 

[woh6]

sad sad saddddddddddddddd

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

My head feels warm