WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 975
Very relatable. I'm tired too. I wish I could go. But I've been making too many "I wish" statements this week. I hope you can find some time to relax and distract yourself or something, meanwhile…
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
My addiction in the major thing keeping me from moving now... It's a circle im not sure how to break.
Being here > stress > joint > spent money on weed > can't afford to move > stuck here > stress > joint > ect...
I'll figure it out... I always figure it out..
Being here > stress > joint > spent money on weed > can't afford to move > stuck here > stress > joint > ect...
I'll figure it out... I always figure it out..
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
Exactly, 1 day regular vs 27 bad days per month
Dead Meat
DOOMED
- Oct 10, 2018
- 18,395
I feel so sick and miserable I wish I could die in my sleep 
Tristan
Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead.
- Mar 21, 2022
- 252
I'm feeling drained and broken, I have to find a job soon. Being home all the time doesn't help me. Even considering 7/11 jobs and petrol stations despite the fact I have a masters degree. I just dunno if I will last, I tend to just leave my job if someone annoys me or is rude to me with power trips.
That's my dream too, fall asleep and never wake up. Painless if possible. I'm sorry you also feeling like me.I feel so sick and miserable I wish I could die in my sleep
Lullaby
🌙
- Mar 9, 2022
- 651
im sure I've said this before, but I can't wait for the day where I don't have to wake up and deal with any of this anymore. I'm tired of this nonsense.
Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
It feels like, after I made an ass of myself, I'm going to lose almost everyone I hold near and dear to me. That's not a bad thing, though. Maybe my several breakdowns yesterday will convince people I'm no longer worth being around. I know I annoyed two people because of them, so they probably want nothing to do with me anymore. Hey, that just makes it easier for me to leave for good. My poor planning skills ruined everything. I always ruin everything.
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
just woke up from a nightmare...at first i felt like shit for letting another guy touch me with my SO (and friends) right there, but after deconstructing it...i think i understand it.
i want to move, i need to move. i didnt "let the guy" i specifically kept putting a shirt on to stop it. the guy in my nightmare was sexually assaulting me, and after deconstructing my nightmare...i think it was suppose to represent my husband even though i dont think thats who it was im my nightmare. but everything else made sense
yet he still tries to get me to stay....and i dont feel i can even tell him about this to prove my point of leaving because it involves my friends that he doesnt even know im in contact with. even if i did "what makes you think it was me" because everything about it, lined up perfectly but hes probably just going to deny it
i feel like shit in general now....
not even sleep is a safe place from being awake.
i want to move, i need to move. i didnt "let the guy" i specifically kept putting a shirt on to stop it. the guy in my nightmare was sexually assaulting me, and after deconstructing my nightmare...i think it was suppose to represent my husband even though i dont think thats who it was im my nightmare. but everything else made sense
yet he still tries to get me to stay....and i dont feel i can even tell him about this to prove my point of leaving because it involves my friends that he doesnt even know im in contact with. even if i did "what makes you think it was me" because everything about it, lined up perfectly but hes probably just going to deny it
i feel like shit in general now....
not even sleep is a safe place from being awake.I scratched my face to ease the mental pain.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
i hate bpd i hate bpd i hate bpd
its nothing. theres an explanation. he doesnt know. hes busy.
he'll message later and everything will be fine
i feel ignored/alone. i want to bawl.
its nothing. theres an explanation. he doesnt know. hes busy.
he'll message later and everything will be fine
i feel ignored/alone. i want to bawl.
StolenLife
Warlock
- Sep 19, 2022
- 740
Another door closes in on me. Indeed the time is coming to leave.
BeansOfRequirement
Behind the guilt was compassion
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,744
StolenLife
Warlock
- Sep 19, 2022
- 740
I am being yelled at again because my parents would rather have me miserable than admit I am not cut out for med school. I am depressed and there's no one coming to help me because I blew up at my psychotherapist for her incompetence and lack of empathy. I will probably be homeless. I might end it in a few days.
Alcoholic Teletubby
Rip in piss
- Jan 10, 2022
- 388
Drove for the first time today. Did a good job. Felt sick afterward.
CTB Dream
Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
- Sep 17, 2022
- 2,549
Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
Someone actually said they loved me in spite of the scars on my arm. I nearly broke down and cried; I never heard someone say that to me before.
Wearing a mask can allow one to seem or feel as if they are normal in society and to show compliance, conformity, obedience, etc., but it gets tiresome, and eventually the mask deteriorates, and the true self is shown, and if that mask-less version is deemed unsuitable by society, it is usually dealt with in ways that are not kind.
That said, every day as I look inside and stare at my reflection, I am slowly becoming more comfortable with what I have become and will become, and it is also becoming clear that what is inside me and the reflection that stares back at me will never be accepted by society.
That said, every day as I look inside and stare at my reflection, I am slowly becoming more comfortable with what I have become and will become, and it is also becoming clear that what is inside me and the reflection that stares back at me will never be accepted by society.
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Dead Ghost
Mestre del Temps
- May 6, 2022
- 1,342
I feel sad, angry, angry, sad again... I don't get anything at all, I'm like trapped and no matter how hard I try I feel like the characters in the movies that fall into quicksand, the harder I try the deeper I sink.
For days I have had stomach aches, I feel nauseous, I feel dizzy, I don't sleep well.... Today I have left to go to the psychologist and.... I don't like going out of the house at all, I observe the people around me, some working and others going with their bags to work or to school, I don't know. But I see them healthy, with energy in their walking and talking, I feel them lamenting that it is Monday... they pass me by, some of them look at me out of the corner of their eyes (I feel a bit sorry for them with a very stiff beard and where each one of the hairs craves for freedom above their other companions of fatigues. ... they are very individualistic and at the same time anarchic), it will be because of my step or my way of walking, typical of someone who leans on a cane not to lose his balance, although perhaps it will also be because my head is half-twisted?
I feel despised, belittled even by myself. I haven't shaved since Saturday, June 4th and I presented myself like this to the doctor. It's a good thing I cut my nails and took a shower yesterday. A minimum of attention to myself must be worth something, but I don't think so today.
I feel sad and lonely. I'm not saying that I don't like to fight, I'm quite rebellious against the way life treats me and sometimes I grow up in the face of adversity, who knows how, although whatever is already in charge of putting me in my place. But I have a deep anger that if the gods exist, they know it well and they should fear it (me threatening, I'm doing well to stay alive, there is nothing like provoking the wrath of heaven).
There must be something good for me, I'm not so special that I can't find it, I'm not so special that I can't enjoy it... there must be something for me.
I'm sad, that's all.
//CATALÀ
Em sento trist, rabiós, enfadat, trist altre cop... no m'ensurto de res, estic com atrapat i per mes esforços que hi faig em sento com els personatges de les películes que cauen en arenes movedisses, quant més m'esforço més m'enfonso.
Fa dies que tinc mal de panxa, que tinc nàusees, que tinc marejos, que dormo malament.. Avuí he sortit per anar al psicòleg i... no m'agrada gens sortir de casa, observo la gent del meu voltant, alguns treballant i d'altres anant amb les seves bosses a treballar o a l'escola, no ho se pas. Però els veig sans, amb energía en el caminar i el parlar, els sento lamentarse de que és dilluns.. em passen pel costat, algún em mira de reüll (foto una mica de pena amb una barba ben rigída i on cadascún dels pèls ansía una llibertat per sobre dels seus altres companys de fatigues... són molt individualistes i alhora anàrquics), serà pel meu pas o la meva manera de caminar, própia d'algú que es recolza en un bastó per no perdre l'equilibri.. tot i que potser serà també perquè vaig amb el cap mig-tort?.
Em sento despreciat, menyspreat inclòs per mi. No m'afeito desde el dissabte 4 de Juny i m'he presentat així al metge. Sort que m'he tallat les ungles i ahír em vaig dutxar. D'alguna cosa ha de valer un mínim d'atenció a la meva persona, però crec que avuí no.
Em sento trist i sol. No dic que no m'agradi lluitar, sóc bastant rebel contra el tracte que em dona la vida i de vegades em creixo davant l'adversitat ves a saber com, tot i que ja s'encarrega el que sigui de posar-me al meu lloc. Pero tinc un cabreig de fons que si existeixen els déus bé que el coneixen i haurien de témer (jo amenaçant, vaig bé per seguir viu, no hi ha res com provocar l'ira del cel).
Hi ha d'haver alguna cosa bona per mi, no sóc pas tan especial com per no trobar-la, no sóc pas tan especial com per no saber-la gaudir... hi ha d'haver alguna cosa per mi.
Estic trist, és tot.
//CASTELLANO
Me siento triste, rabioso, enfadado, triste otra vez... no consigo nada de nada, estoy como atrapado y por más esfuerzos que hago me siento como los personajes de las películas que caen en arenas movedizas, cuanto más me esfuerzo más me hundo.
Hace días que tengo dolor de estómago, que tengo náuseas, que tengo mareos, que duermo mal.. Hoy he salido para ir al psicólogo y... no me gusta nada salir de casa, observo a la gente de mi alrededor, algunos trabajando y otros yendo con sus bolsas a trabajar o a la escuela, no lo sé. Pero los veo sanos, con energía en el andar y el hablar, les siento lamentarse de que es lunes.. me pasan por al lado, alguno me mira de reojo (doy un poco de pena con una barba bien rigída y donde cada uno de los pelos ansía una libertad por encima de sus otros compañeros de fatigas... son muy individualistas y al mismo tiempo anárquicos), será por mi paso o mi manera de caminar, propia de alguien que se apoya en un bastón para no perder el equilibrio, aunque quizás será también porque voy con la cabeza medio-torcida?.
Me siento despreciado, menospreciado incluso por mí. No me afeito desde el sábado 4 de Junio y me he presentado así al médico. Menos mal que me he cortado las uñas y ayer me duché. De algo debe valer un mínimo de atención a mi persona, pero creo que hoy no.
Me siento triste y solo. No digo que no me guste luchar, soy bastante rebelde contra el trato que me da la vida y a veces me crezco ante la adversidad vete a saber cómo, aunque ya se encarga lo que sea de ponerme en mi sitio. Pero tengo un cabreo de fondo que si existen los dioses bien que lo conocen y deberían temer (yo amenazando, voy bien para seguir vivo, no hay nada como provocar la ira del cielo).
Tiene que haber algo bueno para mí, no soy tan especial como para no encontrarlo, no soy tan especial como para no saberlo disfrutar... tiene que haber algo para mí.
Estoy triste, es todo.
For days I have had stomach aches, I feel nauseous, I feel dizzy, I don't sleep well.... Today I have left to go to the psychologist and.... I don't like going out of the house at all, I observe the people around me, some working and others going with their bags to work or to school, I don't know. But I see them healthy, with energy in their walking and talking, I feel them lamenting that it is Monday... they pass me by, some of them look at me out of the corner of their eyes (I feel a bit sorry for them with a very stiff beard and where each one of the hairs craves for freedom above their other companions of fatigues. ... they are very individualistic and at the same time anarchic), it will be because of my step or my way of walking, typical of someone who leans on a cane not to lose his balance, although perhaps it will also be because my head is half-twisted?
I feel despised, belittled even by myself. I haven't shaved since Saturday, June 4th and I presented myself like this to the doctor. It's a good thing I cut my nails and took a shower yesterday. A minimum of attention to myself must be worth something, but I don't think so today.
I feel sad and lonely. I'm not saying that I don't like to fight, I'm quite rebellious against the way life treats me and sometimes I grow up in the face of adversity, who knows how, although whatever is already in charge of putting me in my place. But I have a deep anger that if the gods exist, they know it well and they should fear it (me threatening, I'm doing well to stay alive, there is nothing like provoking the wrath of heaven).
There must be something good for me, I'm not so special that I can't find it, I'm not so special that I can't enjoy it... there must be something for me.
I'm sad, that's all.
//CATALÀ
Em sento trist, rabiós, enfadat, trist altre cop... no m'ensurto de res, estic com atrapat i per mes esforços que hi faig em sento com els personatges de les películes que cauen en arenes movedisses, quant més m'esforço més m'enfonso.
Fa dies que tinc mal de panxa, que tinc nàusees, que tinc marejos, que dormo malament.. Avuí he sortit per anar al psicòleg i... no m'agrada gens sortir de casa, observo la gent del meu voltant, alguns treballant i d'altres anant amb les seves bosses a treballar o a l'escola, no ho se pas. Però els veig sans, amb energía en el caminar i el parlar, els sento lamentarse de que és dilluns.. em passen pel costat, algún em mira de reüll (foto una mica de pena amb una barba ben rigída i on cadascún dels pèls ansía una llibertat per sobre dels seus altres companys de fatigues... són molt individualistes i alhora anàrquics), serà pel meu pas o la meva manera de caminar, própia d'algú que es recolza en un bastó per no perdre l'equilibri.. tot i que potser serà també perquè vaig amb el cap mig-tort?.
Em sento despreciat, menyspreat inclòs per mi. No m'afeito desde el dissabte 4 de Juny i m'he presentat així al metge. Sort que m'he tallat les ungles i ahír em vaig dutxar. D'alguna cosa ha de valer un mínim d'atenció a la meva persona, però crec que avuí no.
Em sento trist i sol. No dic que no m'agradi lluitar, sóc bastant rebel contra el tracte que em dona la vida i de vegades em creixo davant l'adversitat ves a saber com, tot i que ja s'encarrega el que sigui de posar-me al meu lloc. Pero tinc un cabreig de fons que si existeixen els déus bé que el coneixen i haurien de témer (jo amenaçant, vaig bé per seguir viu, no hi ha res com provocar l'ira del cel).
Hi ha d'haver alguna cosa bona per mi, no sóc pas tan especial com per no trobar-la, no sóc pas tan especial com per no saber-la gaudir... hi ha d'haver alguna cosa per mi.
Estic trist, és tot.
//CASTELLANO
Me siento triste, rabioso, enfadado, triste otra vez... no consigo nada de nada, estoy como atrapado y por más esfuerzos que hago me siento como los personajes de las películas que caen en arenas movedizas, cuanto más me esfuerzo más me hundo.
Hace días que tengo dolor de estómago, que tengo náuseas, que tengo mareos, que duermo mal.. Hoy he salido para ir al psicólogo y... no me gusta nada salir de casa, observo a la gente de mi alrededor, algunos trabajando y otros yendo con sus bolsas a trabajar o a la escuela, no lo sé. Pero los veo sanos, con energía en el andar y el hablar, les siento lamentarse de que es lunes.. me pasan por al lado, alguno me mira de reojo (doy un poco de pena con una barba bien rigída y donde cada uno de los pelos ansía una libertad por encima de sus otros compañeros de fatigas... son muy individualistas y al mismo tiempo anárquicos), será por mi paso o mi manera de caminar, propia de alguien que se apoya en un bastón para no perder el equilibrio, aunque quizás será también porque voy con la cabeza medio-torcida?.
Me siento despreciado, menospreciado incluso por mí. No me afeito desde el sábado 4 de Junio y me he presentado así al médico. Menos mal que me he cortado las uñas y ayer me duché. De algo debe valer un mínimo de atención a mi persona, pero creo que hoy no.
Me siento triste y solo. No digo que no me guste luchar, soy bastante rebelde contra el trato que me da la vida y a veces me crezco ante la adversidad vete a saber cómo, aunque ya se encarga lo que sea de ponerme en mi sitio. Pero tengo un cabreo de fondo que si existen los dioses bien que lo conocen y deberían temer (yo amenazando, voy bien para seguir vivo, no hay nada como provocar la ira del cielo).
Tiene que haber algo bueno para mí, no soy tan especial como para no encontrarlo, no soy tan especial como para no saberlo disfrutar... tiene que haber algo para mí.
Estoy triste, es todo.
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Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
i need out
i lack money...
i went from smoking 3.5g/week to ~13.5g/week
for as long as i stay here the hole just keeps getting deeper, but for as long as im in it i struggle to leave, fuck fuck fuck. i need more money...
i lack money...
i went from smoking 3.5g/week to ~13.5g/week
for as long as i stay here the hole just keeps getting deeper, but for as long as im in it i struggle to leave, fuck fuck fuck. i need more money...
I am so tired of trying to keep it together while I let extremely important things fall through the "I don't give a crap" hole and I just don't see how it will get better. It nothing has changed more more than a week in the last 10 years what will ever change?
suffocatingseraphim
⸙𖦹killing the self as to protect it from harm𖦹⸙
- Feb 6, 2020
- 105
Hollow. Bitter. Distant. Scared that my partner hates me but I struggle to stop stonewalling him. & each second that I'm sober from smoking, I find it harder to open up to him.
I love and value our relationship so much, but I'm sabotaging it by refusing his help and his desperation to connect with me, and fill the gap between us.
I love and value our relationship so much, but I'm sabotaging it by refusing his help and his desperation to connect with me, and fill the gap between us.
StolenLife
Warlock
- Sep 19, 2022
- 740
It truly is art to be able to make the wrong choice every single time and leave yourself with no support system whatsoever all while realizing that you are not as intelligent as you thought you were and now you can even thrive in the only aspect of life you have somewhat under control. How the fuck did I get here?
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
happy thanksgiving, ive spent the day wanting to die
thankful for... thankful for....hmmmm
thankful for... thankful for....hmmmm
CTB Dream
Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
- Sep 17, 2022
- 2,549
It feels absolutely ridiculous talking to other people. Every time, it fucks me up. It's like shouting at each other across a rift. Nothing meaningful can be discerned. I'm ready to stop talking, but that's not really acceptable.
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
forget him, just kys and get it over with...
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,885
its a piss off and depressing that fifty f'en dollars ($50) is standing between me and moving.. i hate bitching about it, it sounds like im bitching for money but if anything, im bitching to give up my addiction so i can have the money myself....but this fucking situation, i hate it and just want to get high more
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