Discussion What are the reasons you want to ctb?

[Ijustcantanymore]

Not in any particular order:

*Unresolved trauma from abuse from both parents
*Can't remember 20 years of my life, which is most of it
*Multiple mental health comorbidities that fuel each other
*Diabetes/weight/physical health/chronic pain
*Hatred of our species and my desire to no longer be a part of it
*Corruption and assholery are rewarded and validated constantly and pieces of shit that defend it
*All the needless cruelty that humans demonstrate and then also defend and validate
*Capitalism (stupid and not sustainable, I don't want live through the collapse and the resource wars)
*Fascism (the world is going through a new phase of it and I'd rather not go through it at all)
*Straight people. Not because I hate them, but because they love to play the victim and believe everything is life should revolve around them because they are the majority. Okay maybe I hate them a wee bit.
*Being gay. It has never added anything positive to my life. I'd rather have no sexuality period.
*Being a man. I'm am ashamed of my gender group. Same shit. Toxic behavior that is rewarded and validated. Which makes gay so much more fun. My only dating pool is garbage.
*Religion. Fucked up toxic shit invented to control and fleece the masses.
*Fear of ending up completely alone before death.
*Being homeless. I actually expect this to occur in the next couple of years. And there is nothing I can do about it.
*The realization that therapy is a scam meant to make you a cog in the machine where you don't matter.
*Climate change. Again, resource wars, famine, all that fun stuff that people believe isn't going to happen. I really do look forward to people learning their lesson about this the hard painful way.

Those are all the main factors. The others are all small things that just add up.

 

[Hi_I_am_Dead_Weight]

I am broken and I don't want to fix myself, the repairs are just too time-consuming, troublesome; and frankly, unreliable. I don't have that kind of energy! Yet, obviously, It's hard to throw anything out once you grow attached to it.

I can't help but procrastinate on death. Ironically, the same problems that broke me apart are keeping the last pieces together.

I want to ctb because I'm tired and lazy, very lazy. Living is not free, it will always have a price.

 

[fatty44]

I am broken and I don't want to fix myself, the repairs are just too time-consuming, troublesome; and frankly, unreliable. I don't have that kind of energy! Yet, obviously, It's hard to throw anything out once you grow attached to it.

I can't help but procrastinate on death. Ironically, the same problems that broke me apart are keeping the last pieces together.

I want to ctb because I'm tired and lazy, very lazy. Living is not free, it will always have a price.

I resonate with this 100%.

I'm also very slow, I'm not sure I'm lazy because if I'm really interested in something I tend to be quite a hard worker. And I had phases with extreme discipline in my life, but it's just not sustainable. I later recognized those phases were tied to my bipolar disorder.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[lil dwayne]

Life. Look outside, how fucked it all is. And the way the world is going its only getting worse.

 

[painfully]

Having a family that makes me lose my desire to pursue my life. I just want to escape and not deal with more of this every single day.

If you can manage to get a job, shouldnt be this in your reach? If you got away from your family, everything would be ok? No more suicidal?

 

[lonely swiss]

Pure hopelessness the future looks too dull to continue

Me too, I just want the pain to end

 

[Daphne]

insomnia, boredom, poverty, lack of opportunity, health probs, age

 

[lillmonix3]

One day I realized that my life was useless. I do nothing for this life, I can't even provide for my parents. I used to think that only I would work and my parents would rest. But now it's the other way around. I am lying in bed and depressed, while my parents work. I fight the desire to die with the help of self-harm.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Money. Just enough money for a home, to live on my own, with a garden in a quiet, safe suburb with a dog and a few comforts. Enough money to eat healthy, exercise and pay bills without worrying about where I will live and how to make ends meet every momment of the day.

 

[huifu]

Tired. I'm too tired.

 

[Eriktf]

no particular order

childhood trauma
addiction
life long mental health problems
insomnia
why not die now insted of waiting
financial stress (but i think that will get better soon)
unemployed
there are one reason that i will take to the grave
no reasons to stay alive

 

[lonely swiss]

Tired. I'm too tired.

Me too

 

[Feldsparc]

Losing my family due to an affair, losing my identity because of that, lost my job and my life in India after moving to Australia. I hate everything about myself and my life

 

[seasaltbutter]

life is bleak

 

[Yurak Hunt]

I basically failed at life, and decided that it's best to die than live a life that I don't want.

same here.

 

[echoINTHEMIRROR]

chronic pain, isolation since i was like 6, untreated PTSD, cognitive bullshit thats getting worse, knowing all of my aspirations are going to fail (computer science, digital art, ceramics...), etc. etc.

 

[birdbones]

I don't provide any value or meaning to this world or the people in it. I'm fundamentally broken. There are too many things wrong with me to fix. I am always alone, even when I'm surrounded by people. I can't love or accept myself, and it makes me incapable of accepting the love people try to give me. I haven't achieved any milestones in life, I have nothing to show for my existence and the entire duration of it has been excruciating. I'm tired. I'm tired of this. I want out.

 

[suncide10]

family, I'm tired of being in the middle of all this drama that is happening, I'm tired of hearing my mom complaining about life and everything. Dad never loved me, I'd be better if I'd never had him because I was thinking it was normal what he does and started doing the same. They never allowed to hang out with friends, there was only one friend who they allowed to hang out with because he lived close to me. I can't remember everything but I hate my family. Also bullying, and this is where my suffering begins. Because of bullying I started having depression and suicidal thoughts. I was very shy kid before, but after I started being bullied I was even scared to talk in public, I was trying to make myself as invisible as possible so no one would bother me and it never helped. I just hate everything that happened to me. I was doing pretty well until 2026, I wasn't happy but I was optimistic, I had plans for future. And as 2026 started I got depressed as hell even though nothing bad happened in my life, and now I just can't get out of this.

 

[SDB]

Money. I can never get enough to support my family. And the fact that everyone knows I'm total failure. It has been 1 year already looking for options to CTB that would allow my family to collect insurance, still no success. Everything I look for can fail

Looking for work? Wait until You hit Six years 5k applications and all you find are temp contracts.. I can't even fina a labour job with a referral from a friend. Can't even land an interview for that. I've literally tried everything, every suggestion imaginable

 

[peacefulrepose]

This probably doesn't make sense but I believe it's just my fate, or my duty to do so. Since I was little I've always wanted to die, it is one of my earliest memories to want to die. I was as young as 6 years old believing I wasn't meant for this world. I have always believed that whichever divines there are above had accidentally placed me here, and that's why I've always felt out of place. I couldn't do anything right, and no matter how I followed others' advice on how to be normal, it always ends terribly. That just sums up it all, I am not meant to be here and I must rid the world of this piece of the divines' mistake

 

[StardustWeAre]

Tired of my existence.

 

[alreadyfound]

My inability to form bonds with anyone. I don't see the point in living if I'm alone forever. and I hate making the slightest effort, I'd rather die than have a job.

 

[meiherasayuri]

Despair and a lot of emotional pain,I am unable to talk to people irl,Life has no meaning, and I'm condemned to watch as I'm treated differently simply for being neurodivergent and unable to adapt to the world,I hate my life