Someplace_nice
Student
- Sep 28, 2024
- 162
I don't want to worry my husband, but I've been feeling like the kind of happy that comes with your day, your CTB day, but I'm not gonna CTB and idk why I feel like this. It's been unnerving the whole time, like my brain saying that I can die now, I know what true love feels like and that its ready. I'm not ready, I had this feeling when I was in New Orleans all by myself, I felt so at peace for once that I was able to meditate while still walking, it felt like the world gave me permission to die, until it didn't. I've had that horrible dream where a lot of kids die at a play place aimed at children, and if you miss your transportation and walk out of the building these black dots will show up, the front doors will be locked and the black dots attach themselves to you, you die and turn to dust. When there's death in my dreams my mind transports me into their body and I see and sometimes feel it when they die, I have their last thoughts. Idk why this is happening in a dream last night I couldn't handle anything so I went back to maladaptive day dreaming, I swore that is never do that again bc of how damaging it was. Idk what these dreams mean or why I'm this kind of happy.
