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sourcherry

sourcherry

Member
Mar 3, 2026
46
so lmao yeah i learned that the company i interned at cleaned house and laid off almost everyone i had direct interactions with.
like the recruiter who brought me in, two of my grad school classmates, my co-working deskmate, etc. and more importantly my awful power-tripping manager!!

im kinda sad but i also feel relieved. even if i had gotten FT i would have been laid off too. probs in a way worse financial situation having to suddenly survive on my own and stressed out of my mind on what to do next. maybe the shame of failing in this context would feel worse too.

on one hand: its so petty of me but im really vindictively glad my manager got laid off. they had uprooted their life from out-of-state and they bought a big fancy ass house only to get laid off a year in. haha. for once karma feels real.

on the other hand: im more worried. things are getting worse overall. the state of the industry im in feels like its falling apart at the seams. something unrelated that i thought could be a last resort solution for my mom if i had successfully disappeared doesn't seem viable anymore. she's been pressuring me alot less these days but i think its bc im out of the house more. i had to say no to a job offer that would have made me move super far away for shit pay. and that's all the momentum ive been getting so far.

ive been in a state of confusion on what to do for so long i kinda feel numb to everything. im still steadily working my part-time job so im not completely drowning but i think if i take another massive L soon its gonna break me. idk if it'll make me speed up my timeline but maybe ill try to get my things settled faster??? i wouldnt be upset if i happened to get hit by a car tomorrow and CTB that way either.
 
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fishperson

fishperson

If only luck was by my side
Jan 22, 2026
409
its ok to have feelings like these. after all u r experiencing life from ur own pov. if we overthink every feeling we have it turns into constant state of paranoia. for exemple i can hate a person even tho i know they are a good person. thats what being human feels like
 

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