I thought I found a good way to go. I thought nitrogen would be the best choice and that I coul'd watch the stars while peacefully slipping away. But I'm way to disorganised to find a good spot, get the supplies ready and without anyone noticing and at a date where I actually see the stars.
The last month have gotten worse. I have difficulty getting up, facing everyday life. Luckily nobody seems to notice how hard is has become for me to get through the day. So I decided I have to move forward before I lose control and make a complete fool of myself. I went through the woods to find a good spot to hang myself. I guess it is much easier to pull off than other methods. I taught myself the necessary knots to make sure that everything works well and the rope cant slip, the knots don't fail and the sling closes tight. I bought climbing rope to make sure it won't tear.
It all seems so easy and logical. But I'm a bit concerned how long it would take and how much it might hurt. Would taking 4000mg ibuprofen half an hour in advance help ease the pain caused by the rope? Strangely I don't care about who finds me or what people might think. I have always done what people expected of me so I think I have earned the right to go if I so choose.
The last month have gotten worse. I have difficulty getting up, facing everyday life. Luckily nobody seems to notice how hard is has become for me to get through the day. So I decided I have to move forward before I lose control and make a complete fool of myself. I went through the woods to find a good spot to hang myself. I guess it is much easier to pull off than other methods. I taught myself the necessary knots to make sure that everything works well and the rope cant slip, the knots don't fail and the sling closes tight. I bought climbing rope to make sure it won't tear.
It all seems so easy and logical. But I'm a bit concerned how long it would take and how much it might hurt. Would taking 4000mg ibuprofen half an hour in advance help ease the pain caused by the rope? Strangely I don't care about who finds me or what people might think. I have always done what people expected of me so I think I have earned the right to go if I so choose.
