Are there people who have used benzodiazepines for overriding SI? If so, how was your experience? And which benzodiazepines did you take and how much did you take? Have you taken benzodiazepines before or was it the first time? And what was the reason you still survived your ctb attempt?
My plan is to ctb by FSH. I know a tree that I can hang myself from. So my plan is to go to the forest containing my tree in the evening (I plan to commit after nightfall in order to reduce the chance of anyone finding me too early as my tree is not super far from a path, although people didn't seem to notice me when I was playing around with slings on my tree the other day), attach my step slings for climbing up and my rope for FSH and then take 2 or 3mg of Alprazolam, wait till it kicks in and then hang myself. I have previous experience with benzodiazepines including Alprazolam, but I don't take them regularly. So I don't have a tolerance. My normal dose for Alprazolam would be 0.5mg, but I feel that for overcoming SI I need more than my normal dose. I am wondering, if it would be best to take the Alprazolam when already standing on the tree and having the noose around my head, so I just need to take a step and be done with it. Or if I should only attach everything as needed, then take the Alprazolam while still being on the ground and then climb up and commit. However, if doing the latter I am worried about falling asleep before being able to commit. But if doing the former I can imagine my SI actually keeping me from even taking the Alprazolam for fear I might end up taking a step into nothingness unexpectedly while on the drug. In a way that wouldn't be a bad thing, of course, as it means I would reach my goal of ctb. But the thought of suddenly and unexpectedly being choked is really scary, even more so than FSH is in general. I would prefer to at least consciously decide for it, if that makes any sense.
Any thoughts?
My plan is to ctb by FSH. I know a tree that I can hang myself from. So my plan is to go to the forest containing my tree in the evening (I plan to commit after nightfall in order to reduce the chance of anyone finding me too early as my tree is not super far from a path, although people didn't seem to notice me when I was playing around with slings on my tree the other day), attach my step slings for climbing up and my rope for FSH and then take 2 or 3mg of Alprazolam, wait till it kicks in and then hang myself. I have previous experience with benzodiazepines including Alprazolam, but I don't take them regularly. So I don't have a tolerance. My normal dose for Alprazolam would be 0.5mg, but I feel that for overcoming SI I need more than my normal dose. I am wondering, if it would be best to take the Alprazolam when already standing on the tree and having the noose around my head, so I just need to take a step and be done with it. Or if I should only attach everything as needed, then take the Alprazolam while still being on the ground and then climb up and commit. However, if doing the latter I am worried about falling asleep before being able to commit. But if doing the former I can imagine my SI actually keeping me from even taking the Alprazolam for fear I might end up taking a step into nothingness unexpectedly while on the drug. In a way that wouldn't be a bad thing, of course, as it means I would reach my goal of ctb. But the thought of suddenly and unexpectedly being choked is really scary, even more so than FSH is in general. I would prefer to at least consciously decide for it, if that makes any sense.
Any thoughts?
