So far I have attempted, and failed:
- Jumping from the top of a 20+ floor building, taking prescription benzodiazepines to turn off the adrenaline fear of jumping.
+ Instead of jumping I ended up texting everyone with fun goodbye messages and woke up at the hospital.
- taking Xanax and vodka and lying down on my back in a hotel room
+ I told someone I am doing this in an unspecified hotel and they called the cops. Cops found me before I died.
- taking street hunted fentanyl (which ended up being impure and not as potent) and prescription benzos. This time I made sure to drain the phone battery and put it out of reach locked up somewhere.
+ someone I knew had access to my rental house and rental room, and they came to check on me after I didn't respond for a few days.
Seems like the risk of failure is always a nosey person or me sending a text to someone while under the influence of the drug that I used as a method.
Having said that, I cannot fail anymore. I need to succeed the next time I try. I've already incurred so much permanent damage to my body and brain. I never meant to survive the attempts with these damages. I meant to die.
I applied for Medical Assistance in Dying in my country and they didn't have any practitioners in my area to execute it. So that's been ruled out.
I am planning on:
- getting a Do Not Resuscitate medical bracelet.
- making a power of attorney document that includes notes about not wanting life sustaining treatment if it was an intentional attempt to end my life and/or I incurred more brain injury from it, and giving it to every hospital around me.
- doing it in the most fool proof way.
Looking for more well researched options for exit. How do people die in their car with carbon monoxide and how long does it take? Can you die using prescription sleeping pills and alcohol in a bath tub (would you remain faced down so you drown?)
Any other ideas? I've watched videos of people hanging themselves on darknet when i was 20 yo researching ways. It seemed creepy and also I can't imagine failing from that.
A few weeks ago a teenage girl in my city jumped off a construction crane and took her life that way.
If anyone has ever heard of real life successful suicide stories, please share what method was used.
- Jumping from the top of a 20+ floor building, taking prescription benzodiazepines to turn off the adrenaline fear of jumping.
+ Instead of jumping I ended up texting everyone with fun goodbye messages and woke up at the hospital.
- taking Xanax and vodka and lying down on my back in a hotel room
+ I told someone I am doing this in an unspecified hotel and they called the cops. Cops found me before I died.
- taking street hunted fentanyl (which ended up being impure and not as potent) and prescription benzos. This time I made sure to drain the phone battery and put it out of reach locked up somewhere.
+ someone I knew had access to my rental house and rental room, and they came to check on me after I didn't respond for a few days.
Seems like the risk of failure is always a nosey person or me sending a text to someone while under the influence of the drug that I used as a method.
Having said that, I cannot fail anymore. I need to succeed the next time I try. I've already incurred so much permanent damage to my body and brain. I never meant to survive the attempts with these damages. I meant to die.
I applied for Medical Assistance in Dying in my country and they didn't have any practitioners in my area to execute it. So that's been ruled out.
I am planning on:
- getting a Do Not Resuscitate medical bracelet.
- making a power of attorney document that includes notes about not wanting life sustaining treatment if it was an intentional attempt to end my life and/or I incurred more brain injury from it, and giving it to every hospital around me.
- doing it in the most fool proof way.
Looking for more well researched options for exit. How do people die in their car with carbon monoxide and how long does it take? Can you die using prescription sleeping pills and alcohol in a bath tub (would you remain faced down so you drown?)
Any other ideas? I've watched videos of people hanging themselves on darknet when i was 20 yo researching ways. It seemed creepy and also I can't imagine failing from that.
A few weeks ago a teenage girl in my city jumped off a construction crane and took her life that way.
If anyone has ever heard of real life successful suicide stories, please share what method was used.
