Want to CTB but friend wants to see me soon.

[phantomisgone]

I got nearly everything I needed to CTB but my friend called me earlier this week wanting to see me.

He's getting a break from the military up until January next year. Wanted to come down and see me this Thanksgiving break, but I wanted to CTB before then. I feel that he's the only one in my life who should know that I won't be around, but I don't want him to worry or call the police on me.

I don't know what to do. 90% of me is ready to just leave this week and forget it all. I'm not obligated to continue suffering or stay here, but this %10 is this bad timing from my friend. I don't want him to know that I CTB before he sees me because it will devastate him. I prefer him to know after he saw me one last time.

Should I stay just to entertain him one last time or just CTB and he finds out that I'm gone before he comes and sees me?

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound like a difficult situation to be in. But I believe that only you can decide what to do, only you know what's right, it's a personal decision when to leave. I don't personally see it as a good idea to tell others about ctb plans as they could potentially try to interfere and this could just make things worse. I wish you the best.

 

[Pluto]

Hard as things are, there is nothing wrong with waiting a couple of months to tie loose ends and ensure you are 100% ready for such a big decision.

 

[niiina]

This is something you'll feel, no one can tell you when to go, wake up each morning and one of them will feel like ctb then it's time.
Also, don't tell him or anyone cause they'll definitely cause an involuntary hospitalization, telling people is the worst thing you can do if you want to ctb

 

[Lavender Dreams]

See your friend before you go, maybe it will help your mood slightly too. Ctb option won't go away, if you have the materials you can do that anytime after all.

 

[phantomisgone]

You all are right. It is my choice to see him or not. I guess it's time for me to be selfish for once and do what's best for me. Kind of a sacrifice to do but hey, that's what life is about right?
I just hope that he understands. Maybe I can leave a note for him or something. Idk.