Want my friends to give up on me already

[Anxi0usandDepressed]

For context, in recent years I've struggled with being a good texter when my friends message me, often it'll be days before I open their message and reply. It's nothing personal at all, it's just that replying back overwhelms me greatly and socialising exhausts me. Just getting out of bed and doing basic tasks drains me, so you can imagine the amount of energy I have left to talk to people is often non-existent. Despite all of that, my friends have always been understanding of this and patient to wait for me to come back to the living so we can catch up.

With my mental health currently being the worst it's ever been, I have not been replying back to my friends at all. It's been months. I'm on my phone all the time, so I see their messages, but I just can never bring myself to open them. They keep trying to reach out to me, and it breaks my heart. I constantly experience suicidal ideation, and honestly don't really see a future for myself. In a lot of ways it's like I've already given up, and a part of me wishes that they'd give up already on me too. I wish they'd stop trying and move on. Please just leave me, your efforts are futile and I'm a lost cause. Please just let me go. (Please don't) (Please do) (Please don't) (Please do)

 

[dinosavr]

Maybe you should try telling them that you're going through some rough time and see how they react- if they are worthy of being your friends or not.
After all, it's your life, not theirs. You should be involved in deciding whether to continue your relationships or not. Especially if you're thinking about ending things. It's always good to have everything settled with everyone. I guess it would be difficult for them if they left you now and then you'd be dead. They would feel guilty as heeeeellll

 

[MyLifeisHell]

I think you should be open and communicative and simply tell them that you appreciate their concern and you acknowledge them but you just need space for the time being.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Same here. No energy to talk. I don't tell them that this is the reason because I don't want them to think that talking to them is a chore. What I did was tell my friends that matter (which is only 2 people) that there may be achance that I will CTBing soon. And that talking to them, letting them hear my voice, moments before leaving would be cruel. They understand. And they'll be there when or if I'm ever ready to talk. True friends always will. No matter how long it takes.

 

[animism]

I feel this whole post in every fiber in my body.