finnn

finnn

Member
Mar 13, 2023
31
I feel so horrible and for the most part I don't seem to understand why? I have good family and friends, I'm not struggling in poverty, I have good grades, and yet I'm still suicidal with 6 attempts. I don't understand why I feel this way, when there are people with way worse than I do. I just feel so like I just victimize myself. Really half of the time I feel so lonely and like everybody would be better without me dead, yet I don't have any reason to feel this way. I hope soon I can find a way to ctb, because everyday feels terrible, with nothing even feeling real. Haha, I guess I just don't know what's wrong with me.
 
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Sulyya

Sulyya

Synergist
Mar 6, 2023
542
That seems to be hitting people so often - almost inexplicable despair or urges. Venting is definitely good. Feel free to chat also.
 
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thankyou

thankyou

Thank you 🙏
Mar 2, 2023
64
If you're young plz hang in there.
You may have a good life but could be emotionally neglected or have undiagnosed ailments. Address these concerns with professionals & make sure you don't have any health problems which could lead to feelings of despair. Don't make any rash decisions until your adult brain is developed. Its so hard to understand yourself while you're growing up. 🙏
 
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finnn

finnn

Member
Mar 13, 2023
31
If you're young plz hang in there.
You may have a good life but could be emotionally neglected or have undiagnosed ailments. Address these concerns with professionals & make sure you don't have any health problems which could lead to feelings of despair. Don't make any rash decisions until your adult brain is developed. Its so hard to understand yourself while you're growing up. 🙏
Thanks a lot for the kind words :) means a lot to me!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
It certainly does seem as though there is no peace from suffering in this cruel world and it must be tiring what you have to go through. It does sound horrible to me going through so many failed attempts, that is what I fear but anyway I wish you the best.
 
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finnn

finnn

Member
Mar 13, 2023
31
It certainly does seem as though there is no peace from suffering in this cruel world and it must be tiring what you have to go through. It does sound horrible to me going through so many failed attempts, that is what I fear but anyway I wish you the best.
Thank you. I wish you the best too!
 
Homo erectus

Homo erectus

Mage
Mar 7, 2023
560
I would say suicidal attitude is an evolutionary force to improve quality of life when the threats a species have turned from external to internal. When infighting is paramount, voluntary sacrifices reduce internal pressure. If people really treasure lives, and don't just want to control other people, they should make the society more hospitable so that fewer people would be suicidal. I think suicidal people are just ahead of their time.
 
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finnn

finnn

Member
Mar 13, 2023
31
I would say suicidal attitude is an evolutionary force to improve quality of life when the threats a species have turned from external to internal. When infighting is paramount, voluntary sacrifices reduce internal pressure. If people really treasure lives, and don't just want to control other people, they should make the society more hospitable so that fewer people would be suicidal. I think suicidal people are just ahead of their time.
yeah, The mental health system in my country sucks and being hospitalised will leave you with more trauma than you started with so it's not like I can even ask for help without being sent to a pych ward, the best way out of this is to just ctb
 
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stoopid

stoopid

from hell
Feb 27, 2023
183
The urge to end the life is more likely a urge to escape the matrix.
 
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Homo erectus

Homo erectus

Mage
Mar 7, 2023
560
yeah, The mental health system in my country sucks and being hospitalised will leave you with more trauma than you started with so it's not like I can even ask for help without being sent to a pych ward, the best way out of this is to just ctb
Yes, hospital is bad enough. Keeping sick people together is just for the convenience of doctors. It's just a factory not caring. Metal hospitals are hell of hell.
 
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finnn

finnn

Member
Mar 13, 2023
31
Yes, hospital is bad enough. Keeping sick people together is just for the convenience of doctors. It's just a factory not caring. Metal hospitals are hell of hell.
It's one of my worst fears, really I'm lucky that none of my attempts have ended in me being sent to one, although 2 times when i've called the suicide hotline they've tried to send me to a hospital and ask for my adress, so I can't even trust the hotline anymore. Asking for help ends me nowhere, it's not as easy to ask for help as people make it seem
 
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