I regret breaking my clean streak

[burninghill]

I haven't used DPH for a few months, but yesterday night I decided to give it another shot. I was just feeling unbearably terrible.

I just regret it so much, I'm literally fine (though I did embarrass myself by texting my friend in gibberish for about 10 minutes causing them to think I was having a stroke).

I don't know why exactly, but I just feel so disgusting now. Like I can't trust myself to make a good decision or stay in control of myself.

I want to end my life so badly, I don't know how much more of this one person can take

 

[Pvnie]

is benny really that good? I've had a few light trips where id walk around at 3am and do dumb shit and try to see the shadow people.

 

[lastappleonearth]

I haven't used DPH for a few months, but yesterday night I decided to give it another shot. I was just feeling unbearably terrible.

I just regret it so much, I'm literally fine (though I did embarrass myself by texting my friend in gibberish for about 10 minutes causing them to think I was having a stroke).

I don't know why exactly, but I just feel so disgusting now. Like I can't trust myself to make a good decision or stay in control of myself.

I want to end my life so badly, I don't know how much more of this one person can take

Don't be too hard on yourself. Seems like you're trying rlly hard not to take it and didn't take it for months, that's good. Sometimes it's just so difficult not to take anything, when you are feeling absolutely awful. I had a phase, where I didn't take Xanax for more than half a year, but then things just got worse and I started taking it again unfortunately

 

[burninghill]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Seems like you're trying rlly hard not to take it and didn't take it for months, that's good. Sometimes it's just so difficult not to take anything, when you are feeling absolutely awful. I had a phase, where I didn't take Xanax for more than half a year, but then things just got worse and I started taking it again unfortunately

I'm just so pissed at myself and upset. I just felt like utter shit yesterday and impulsively decided to get high. My friend almost called someone to my house because they thought I was having a stroke.

I just genuinely can't do this anymore, I feel bad when I don't take it and worse when I do and I don't have anybody around to help me.

is benny really that good? I've had a few light trips where id walk around at 3am and do dumb shit and try to see the shadow people.

Luckily I've never had a bad experience with it but it's known to be one of the worst things for your brain and body. Most people become very very dysphoric and anxious on DPH and it's overall not a good drug to trip on. Not to mention how addictive it is. You just want to take more and more and more and experience what might happen if you do.