Using apps to make friends

[Looking]

Heyo!

One of my biggest struggles is trying to make and keep friendships. Really, all kinds of social relationships I struggle a lot with, but I suppose friendships is something I'd like to actually focus on.

I've been suggested to use websites like Bumble and/or Boo for their "friend" features - They're like dating apps but you can use it for friendships, I guess.

I was curious if anyone used these apps before, and if you have what did you think about it?

Kind of struggling with the concept of having to upload photos of myself....

 

[Kualk]

Actually tried Bumble before but my experience is that people just use it for dating, so if you aren't particularly attractive you wont get much interaction. No shame in trying it out for yourself, hopefully you will have a different experience, best of luck.

 

[Zegers]

These apps and their "friendship" sections are bs, are oriented towards dating.

 

[Looking]

I'm not trying Bumble currently but that other app, Boo. With Bumble, at least the sections are kinda broken up to some degree, on Boo it seems like everything is one side? So I guess people's answers are for their dating profiles and not their friend profile, and kinda makes thing hard to navigate. With that being said, it's not too bad. Not really getting results but to be fair I didn't expect to. I just get nervous messaging people and stuff. Not sure how to get over that anxiety.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

I use bumble on the dating feature but I have no intentions of dating them. Like I just chat to them as if they were a work colleague and just trying to get to know them.

Truthfully my dick doesn't work and I'm too afraid for intimacy because of it.

I have made friends at narcotics anonymous but too often we just talk about sobriety and really deep shit.

Would love to have some sober friends who are sober because they just never got into it rather than because they had a problem in the past. However if I have dinner with someone i don't care if they have a glass of wine just don't expect me to pay for it haha.

 

[Looking]

I use bumble on the dating feature but I have no intentions of dating them. Like I just chat to them as if they were a work colleague and just trying to get to know them.

Truthfully my dick doesn't work and I'm too afraid for intimacy because of it.

I have made friends at narcotics anonymous but too often we just talk about sobriety and really deep shit.

Would love to have some sober friends who are sober because they just never got into it rather than because they had a problem in the past. However if I have dinner with someone i don't care if they have a glass of wine just don't expect me to pay for it haha.

Why do you use the dating side then? Do you get better results that way? Do you clarify on the profile it's for friends only or do you lead them on a bit? Sorry for all of the questions, curious if I should use the dating side or not and clarify that I'm just looking for friends, but I would assume I'd get no matches then, but it depends why you're using that side I guess.

Intimacy is hard in general. So I feel you.

And yeah I get you. I've attended AA before, as a guest not as an alcoholic (they allow guests on certain days to come in and listen). A lot of people struggle with substances. I can see why it's kind of hard to have that dynamic with someone. Having friends who are sober, because they like being sober and not because of some shared trauma makes it easier to emotionally disconnect sometimes from the stress of it. So I get you.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

Why do you use the dating side then? Do you get better results that way? Do you clarify on the profile it's for friends only or do you lead them on a bit? Sorry for all of the questions, curious if I should use the dating side or not and clarify that I'm just looking for friends, but I would assume I'd get no matches then, but it depends why you're using that side I guess.

Intimacy is hard in general. So I feel you.

And yeah I get you. I've attended AA before, as a guest not as an alcoholic (they allow guests on certain days to come in and listen). A lot of people struggle with substances. I can see why it's kind of hard to have that dynamic with someone. Having friends who are sober, because they like being sober and not because of some shared trauma makes it easier to emotionally disconnect sometimes from the stress of it. So I get you.

I think I'd just prefer the company of a woman over a man. Also it's hard to find men with same interests. They are either sporty or nerdy.

And there's just something empowering about making a girl laugh. It just boosts your self esteem.

I've only recently met up with a couple of girls and they ended up ghosting me lol.

But honestly idk it's just something to do whilst I'm taking a dump.

I'm starting a new job in a week back on the phones so that should boost my confidence talking to strangers. But I am only a month into my recovery and they say you shouldn't date until after a year. Because I guess if you get dumped you're likely to turn back to substance abuse. But I'd like to think I'd just turn to my guitar instead.

And the problem with my friends in NA is that they are generally a lot older than me. I'm in a silly mood today and about to go to a meeting. I love insulting people ( never to their face ) for a laugh so maybe I'll tell myself some jokes as they cry about their life. Usually they just go on about how great their life is now though. So boring.

 

[Inferno]

It's really shit. I downloaded Yubo and have used it for a few months and have 191 "friends" but have only been messaged by a handful of them for meaningless "conversations" aka them just texting "wyd" "good" "yeah". It seems everyone is just vapid. All the people I meet are devoid of any personality and just ascribe themselves to the same stupid genderbender bullshit and whatever half assed philosophy or social issue they pretend to care about.

 

[Looking]

I think I'd just prefer the company of a woman over a man. Also it's hard to find men with same interests. They are either sporty or nerdy.

And there's just something empowering about making a girl laugh. It just boosts your self esteem.

Makes sense. But isn't it possible to have women friends on the friendship side, too? Or am I misremembering how the friend side works? I haven't used it in ages so I actually don't remember.

I've only recently met up with a couple of girls and they ended up ghosting me lol.

Ah, man. That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

I'm starting a new job in a week back on the phones so that should boost my confidence talking to strangers. But I am only a month into my recovery and they say you shouldn't date until after a year. Because I guess if you get dumped you're likely to turn back to substance abuse. But I'd like to think I'd just turn to my guitar instead.

Music is an awesome coping method in my opinion. I wish you luck with your job! Make sure to keep the Recovery side updated on how it goes for you and everything.

And the problem with my friends in NA is that they are generally a lot older than me. I'm in a silly mood today and about to go to a meeting. I love insulting people ( never to their face ) for a laugh so maybe I'll tell myself some jokes as they cry about their life. Usually they just go on about how great their life is now though. So boring.

AA is full of older people, too. Everyone in their 50s or older. Which I don't mind, but I obviously don't relate fully to them. They've actually suggested I check out NA because it's full of younger people - Which is why I chuckled when you said they're a lot older than you, because I guess those groups in general just have an older demographic. I think more young people are apart of online communities for help. Reddit, Discord, Facebook Groups, and forums, etc.

It's just how it is. Gotta find more people your age if you want something exciting to happen, I suppose. They've lived a lot of their lives already.

---

It's really shit. I downloaded Yubo and have used it for a few months and have 191 "friends" but have only been messaged by a handful of them for meaningless "conversations" aka them just texting "wyd" "good" "yeah". It seems everyone is just vapid. All the people I meet are devoid of any personality and just ascribe themselves to the same stupid genderbender bullshit and whatever half assed philosophy or social issue they pretend to care about.

I never heard of Yubo before. Doesn't sound like it'd be something I'd enjoy though, from the sounds of it.

 

[chicagodollhouse]

Heyo!

One of my biggest struggles is trying to make and keep friendships. Really, all kinds of social relationships I struggle a lot with, but I suppose friendships is something I'd like to actually focus on.

I've been suggested to use websites like Bumble and/or Boo for their "friend" features - They're like dating apps but you can use it for friendships, I guess.

I was curious if anyone used these apps before, and if you have what did you think about it?

Kind of struggling with the concept of having to upload photos of myself....

Yeah but when there'a a red flag don't be hard on yourself. Listen to your gut - dump em

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

Makes sense. But isn't it possible to have women friends on the friendship side, too? Or am I misremembering how the friend side works? I haven't used it in ages so I actually don't remember.


Ah, man. That sucks. Sorry to hear that.


Music is an awesome coping method in my opinion. I wish you luck with your job! Make sure to keep the Recovery side updated on how it goes for you and everything.


AA is full of older people, too. Everyone in their 50s or older. Which I don't mind, but I obviously don't relate fully to them. They've actually suggested I check out NA because it's full of younger people - Which is why I chuckled when you said they're a lot older than you, because I guess those groups in general just have an older demographic. I think more young people are apart of online communities for help. Reddit, Discord, Facebook Groups, and forums, etc.

It's just how it is. Gotta find more people your age if you want something exciting to happen, I suppose. They've lived a lot of their lives already.

---

I never heard of Yubo before. Doesn't sound like it'd be something I'd enjoy though, from the sounds of it.

A lot of the people in NA here are also meth heads were as I was more of a pill popper. The only other pill poppers are a couple of old ladies lol. There are a couple young people but they look like drug addicts. Where as most other people don't. I certainly feel like the odd one out.

 

[Looking]

There are a couple young people but they look like drug addicts.

People who look like drug addicts attending Narcotics Anonymous? How absurd. Lol.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

People who look like drug addicts attending Narcotics Anonymous? How absurd. Lol.

Shall I say people who look like criminals lol. Most people just look like regular people.

 

[thx1138]

I have the same problem, it's really hard to make new friends. How do people do it???

Bumble didn't work for me at all.

Meetup - worked for going to events, but the same thing always happened: we meet one time, we exchange numbers, and then they ghost me.

I don't have any alcohol and drug issues so AA-type support groups are not for me.

 

[BritishPaul]

Be careful who you speak to.

(Discord, speak in communities with people about topics you're interested in)

 

[AscendedBeing]

Unfortunately these types of apps for meeting people as "friends" are awful. In my opinion it's best to pick up a hobby and join groups related to such hobby in your area if you'd like to find others but that's also very time consuming and not doable for some so I'd understand if it weren't an option for you.

 

[Illidan77]

I only tried Boo for a while but it's much better than Bumble

 

[valkyrie]

Reddit is ok, subreddits like /r/makenewfriendshere or /r/r4r and stuff like that, though if you're outside of a large city you may struggle to find anybody local. It's ok for online friends though and it's nice you don't have to upload any photos.

I used to use Omegle (text chat) a lot and the quality is pretty variable but if you put in some interests and have a tag which doesn't have a bunch of bots it can work with patience. I like that you can talk to somebody a little bit with no commitment before deciding whether to exchange socials.

 

[Illidan77]

Another option but idk if it might do good or bad.. I've been using Talklife from like 6+ years but only opened it rarely (not using it anymore), but i do made friends though not much, but mostly since it's mental health community, so it could trigger or support.

 

[incorporationated]

Honestly I use Discord to make friends, that and also IRL friends and their connections. Discord is nice and while you can definitely meet genuinely nice people, stranger danger still applies; if you've known someone on Discord or online for only like 2 or so months, best not to trust them all that much yet. Atleast that's what I think. Assuming you're an adult (since you're on SaSu) you can probably handle these yourself, it's just my 2 cents.

 

[thankyou]

I've met people who met thru Bumble friends. Tried it myself and i found it overwhelming — lots of replies but nobody wanted to meet. Got ghosted very often.

Particularly found it hard to actually meet friends off the app without it feeling like dating.

I remember reading somewhere that 6 messages is all you need to exchange back and forth before scheduling a date. I think the same applies to Bumble friends. I read this after I quit the app but feel like if I would've focused on that it might've worked. But again it seems like I would have to make 100% of the initiative every time.

Talk to your matches but after 6 messages really try to hone in on getting off the app.

 

[resolutory]

Bumble sucks, I'd recommend Hinge. Although Hinge is a dating app I met the best friend I've ever had on there.

 

[Looking]

Honestly I use Discord to make friends, that and also IRL friends and their connections. Discord is nice and while you can definitely meet genuinely nice people, stranger danger still applies; if you've known someone on Discord or online for only like 2 or so months, best not to trust them all that much yet. Atleast that's what I think. Assuming you're an adult (since you're on SaSu) you can probably handle these yourself, it's just my 2 cents.

Used Discord for a long time, just been nervous to use it more recently. Not sure why. Maybe it's just from all of the shit people I knew on there that it makes me nervous to open up the app now.

Bumble sucks, I'd recommend Hinge. Although Hinge is a dating app I met the best friend I've ever had on there.

I have a partner, and the last thing I'd want to do is download any kind of dating app. Even if I wasn't using it for dating purposes, it just wouldn't be a good idea. Though your suggestion might apply to those who aren't currently in any kind of romantic relationship.

 

[strawberryjampan]

You could try /soc/ on 4chan. There's usually a bunch of European-only Discord threads there or random threads for different countries. There's a bunch of weirdos but I've met a few long term friends through there.

 

[evanescent]

You could try /soc/ on 4chan. There's usually a bunch of European-only Discord threads there or random threads for different countries. There's a bunch of weirdos but I've met a few long term friends through there.

Expanding on this—if you're lgbt you could visit /lgbt/ and see if they have a «friend finder» thread. However, finding reasonable people on there could be a lot of work. It definitely is possible to find nice people on there, but you'd have to be willing to sift through a lot.

 

[ThrowedAway]

Heyo!

One of my biggest struggles is trying to make and keep friendships. Really, all kinds of social relationships I struggle a lot with, but I suppose friendships is something I'd like to actually focus on.

I've been suggested to use websites like Bumble and/or Boo for their "friend" features - They're like dating apps but you can use it for friendships, I guess.

I was curious if anyone used these apps before, and if you have what did you think about it?

Kind of struggling with the concept of having to upload photos of myself....

Most of those apps are more oriented towards dating and relationships. If you want to make friends online i'd stay stay in forums or maybe even discord servers!

 

[didn't-it-rain]

Lex is a good one if you're trans (or a cis lesbian).

I spent the majority of my 20's using various apps or Reddit in the pursuit of making friends - both IRL and online. I've always romanticized the idea of getting to know someone that way and forming a close bond. The issue is that without self-confidence, I very rarely am able to keep conversations going - which is ironic bc it should be easier online than in person! And I often end up ghosting people because I get in my own way, I guess. But this isn't the thread for that, so I'll just say for anyone tryna do this, plz keep yr expectations in check. Apps are tricky also because it often feels forced, whereas if you just ~happen~ to hit it off with someone on a forum or server, for example, that can feel more empowering. Sadly, I have more or less given up on the friend-making front. I also don't want to be perceived, and not having a photo is kinda suspect lol

 

[ctb-soon]

Honestly I use Discord to make friends, that and also IRL friends and their connections. Discord is nice and while you can definitely meet genuinely nice people, stranger danger still applies; if you've known someone on Discord or online for only like 2 or so months, best not to trust them all that much yet. Atleast that's what I think. Assuming you're an adult (since you're on SaSu) you can probably handle these yourself, it's just my 2 cents.

Yes I agree with any online type of friendship. You are never really sure. The only real test is the test of time. Really nasty people have a hard time keeping up their "nice" persona for long.