You have my deepest sympathy. My husband died a little over 2 years ago. The 2nd anniversary of his death was last week on October 15th. For me, I still feel just as heartbroken as I did when he died.
It hasn't gotten any better for me. In fact, it's gotten worse because now I have people telling me that I've been grieving for too long and I need to start "getting back to life" and all this other BS. They don't seem to understand that my husband was my life so there's nothing left to go back to. Without him, there's no point in me being here. Every day melts into the next one and they're all the same and none of them matter. And I particularly hate this time of the year when all the holidays are starting because my husband and I used to celebrate all the holidays together, so this time of year is particularly difficult for me.
I've lost lots of people throughout my life, but I think losing my husband has been the worst kind of grief I've ever experienced in my life.
If you ever wanna talk to somebody, please PM me. I'd be happy to listen.