two people have told me i need to get off this site after only speaking to me for a few days

[pleasexbexover]

I've been lurking on here forever, since sometime in 2023, and I just now had the courage a couple months ago to finally make an account. I have a tendency to read into something, think it's right for me, and then dive head first into something. This time, the something was the partners mega thread. Now, forgive me, because my mind has severely taken a turn for the worse, but I for some reason thought it was more for people just looking to talk and be "partners" through their experiences; I didn't realize it was specifically for people with set plans to CTB in the near future. The people I started talking to that responded to my post in the partners thread (2 out of 3) told me that I shouldn't be on this site. One because I'm not detached enough to not feel bad that so many people are in so much pain, and the other because I expressed sadness about someone (possibly) ctb'ing this past week. I don't have the energy to type stuff out for people that aren't going to hear it; I feel like I'd be able to express myself better on here. I will not contact anyone off of this site again; I heavily regret it. I have had thoughts of self harm since I was legitimately 8 years old. I don't need to be told to get off a fucking forum designed for people who feel (my interpretation) like they can't speak about what's really going on in their head. I didn't realize there was a right and wrong way of browsing a suicide forum, I guess I should have just stayed a lurker. Literally only made an account to find more resources for myself in times where I'm spending hours, days, planning my own self deletion. Some of us haven't planned to live to the age they currently are, either. Some of us had plans and attempts in the past that failed. Please be kind and don't call people presumptuous for feeling their feelings.

 

[Carrot]

Make A Friend megathread

Make A Friend Megathread NOTE: Read this thread fully before posting! It can be hard to find someone who understands, and can relate to suicidal and depressive thoughts. This thread is to facilitate the possibility of meeting a friend who can understand that, or just to find someone who is on...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Check this thread instead. And make sure to read the first post.
Or post publicly so anyone who wants can write something. Sorry I don't have much time to write here at the moment.

 

[pleasexbexover]

Make A Friend megathread

Make A Friend Megathread NOTE: Read this thread fully before posting! It can be hard to find someone who understands, and can relate to suicidal and depressive thoughts. This thread is to facilitate the possibility of meeting a friend who can understand that, or just to find someone who is on...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Check this thread instead. And make sure to read the first post.
Or post publicly so anyone who wants can write something. Sorry I don't have much time to write here at the moment.

omg thank you so much you've liked every post I've made

 

[alwaysalone]

I've been lurking on here forever, since sometime in 2023, and I just now had the courage a couple months ago to finally make an account. I have a tendency to read into something, think it's right for me, and then dive head first into something. This time, the something was the partners mega thread. Now, forgive me, because my mind has severely taken a turn for the worse, but I for some reason thought it was more for people just looking to talk and be "partners" through their experiences; I didn't realize it was specifically for people with set plans to CTB in the near future. The people I started talking to that responded to my post in the partners thread (2 out of 3) told me that I shouldn't be on this site. One because I'm not detached enough to not feel bad that so many people are in so much pain, and the other because I expressed sadness about someone (possibly) ctb'ing this past week. I don't have the energy to type stuff out for people that aren't going to hear it; I feel like I'd be able to express myself better on here. I will not contact anyone off of this site again; I heavily regret it. I have had thoughts of self harm since I was legitimately 8 years old. I don't need to be told to get off a fucking forum designed for people who feel (my interpretation) like they can't speak about what's really going on in their head. I didn't realize there was a right and wrong way of browsing a suicide forum, I guess I should have just stayed a lurker. Literally only made an account to find more resources for myself in times where I'm spending hours, days, planning my own self deletion. Some of us haven't planned to live to the age they currently are, either. Some of us had plans and attempts in the past that failed. Please be kind and don't call people presumptuous for feeling their feelings.

I totally get what you're saying . There are a few on this site who seem to believe they have the right to judge who should be here or not or who has suffered "enough" to be here etc.. That's a big reason I lurked so long as well. I just ignore them literally. Lol It just goes to show the depths to which humanity will sink, that some believe there's a hierarchy in suicidal people.

 

[PrettyWhiteFlower]

They're literally gatekeeping a forum for suicidal people from a person who has suicidal thoughts

I'm brand new to this site but i noticed it even has a 'recovery' section so it shouldn't matter where you are in your 'journey'. Not everyone joins with site with the intention to CTB immediately.

 

[Carrot]

They're literally gatekeeping a forum for suicidal people from a person who has suicidal thoughts

I'm brand new to this site but i noticed it even has a 'recovery' section so it shouldn't matter where you are in your 'journey'. Not everyone joins with site with the intention to CTB immediately.

or ever. Nobody has to ctb. If somebody figures out their life, that's awesome.

 

[PrettyWhiteFlower]

or ever. Nobody has to ctb. If somebody figures out their life, that's awesome.

Even better. This forum has probably saved a few people too

 

[opheliaoveragain]

if you're of age, there's no reason why people should be saying that. that's really shitty and no one knows how you feel except you at the end of the day. remember we have an "ignore" button.

i'm sorry you went through that. people here are generally kind and supportive.

 

[pleasexbexover]

Dude I didn't even know there was an ignore button. Yeah literally everybody in this comment section has helped change my perspective. This is the most response I've gotten to anything

 

[alwaysalone]

Dude I didn't even know there was an ignore button. Yeah literally everybody in this comment section has helped change my perspective. This is the most response I've gotten to anything

If you feel like you need to be here that's what matters. No one else should tell you if you should be here.

 

[GMOpNsOTW9J]

Im up to chat. Dont have a viable option and no conviction yet either.

 

[rozeske]

I'm sorry you had to experience that. No one here should make you feel worse than you already are. Other than ignoring, there are set rules of the site and if you think it's against that feel free to report them and a mod will handle it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you've experienced that here. I'd say in my experience, it is a rarity that people are that hostile or unwelcoming.

I'm going to hazard a guess on something here- I could well be wrong. The partners thread isn't something I've ever visited. I wouldn't actually want to be around anyone when I CTB. I realise you misunderstood what it meant though.

Having read posts in the past from people complaining about it though- I'm going to go with a guess. Some people are really desperate to find someone to die with. They may also feel like they are on a time limit for whatever reason. So- I have seen very anxious, annoyed posts that people there don't seem to be 'serious' enough about their intentions in the past.

Of course- it's unreasonable for them to be so demanding. It's a huge decision. No one should feel pressured into meeting someone else's schedule to die! I think we can become pretty demanding though- when we feel desperate.

Bear in mind also, there will be the occassional member who may say yes but, then want to delay or not do it at all- it's a big decision after all. Rarely too, you do get people who seem outright dodgy with possible nefarious reasons for being there. So- they are having to navigate their way through that also. In their minds, I suspect they just want to find someone genuine and safe but, I actually doubt it is straight forward. They may have felt you might be that person at the start, only to be disappointed. It was an honest mistake though.

Personally, I think people open themselves up to huge risks doing it but- it's their choice ultimately.

It's not to excuse their behaviour. There was no need to be unkind. Most especially to suggest you leave the forum itself. As stated so many times- it isn't a pro-suicide site! It's a site that is supposed to respect choice. Including the choice not to suicide imminently or, ever, for some of us. It's supposed to be a place to talk about it openly because in one way or another, we're struggling.

I'm so sorry you've had this experience.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but, if someone says something rude or tells you to leave a certain discussion or whatever, just ignore them. You have no idea who they are. Could be an underage silly troll for all you know. Or whatever. Don't let them ruin your day or tell you what to do. In real life I say the same, although it's more complicated when face to face, especially with an employer for example. But on-line? Blow it off. On the other hand, it's never ok to hurt someone as if they're not a person just because it's not face to face. So I'm sorry you had a bad experience. As you can already tell, plenty of people are glad to have you here.

 

[encore]

i'm sorry for derailing but i also don't want to expose myself to more of those ppl by making my own thread. in short, i relate to how you feel. i don't often talk about reasons why i want to be dead because i know i will be told the same old story about me being "too young", or having too stupid of a reason to want to die. at this point i just stopped trying to explain myself or elaborate on why it hurts as much as it does. if someone is dead set convinced that im "throwing my life away", well, none of my efforts to prove them otherwise will matter anyway… i just wish i didnt have to feel like that in a place full of people that also suffer.

 

[Tumblewillow]

I had something similar happen yesterday. Its just weird manipulative behaviour tbh, but unfortunately comes with the territory. There are plenty of less gatekeepy people here <3

 

[dyingslowly]

It is kinda hard to say but you seemed to them like a "pro-lifer" maybe that's why or you really aren't ready for that phase. I don't blame them since we are already being attacked from all sides, be it infiltrators, antivirus companies, everybody thinks we are someone who they are righteously kick at and feel good.

 

[holyhorse]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but, if someone says something rude or tells you to leave a certain discussion or whatever, just ignore them. You have no idea who they are. Could be an underage silly troll for all you know. Or whatever. Don't let them ruin your day or tell you what to do. In real life I say the same, although it's more complicated when face to face, especially with an employer for example. But on-line? Blow it off. On the other hand, it's never ok to hurt someone as if they're not a person just because it's not face to face. So I'm sorry you had a bad experience. As you can already tell, plenty of people are glad to have you here.

damn I needed to hear that. thank you for writing this. im sentimental and i get upset even if someone's response seems a bit off than usual.

 

[maniac116]

I personally feel that you belong here if you (and you alone!) feel you want to be here.
Everyone has different opinions. Its your choice alone whether SaSu is the forum for you.
BTW, welcome!!

 

[JesiBel]

As crazy as it sounds, I've found some fantastic, genuine people here. I don't think I've ever written such long texts in messages before. As if we've known each other for a long time, the closeness this forum creates is surprising.

It is far from being an evil, dangerous or dark place as some say. Even though everyone has their own unique set of problems, sometimes a good-faith post pops up to generate some humor, perhaps a meme or comment. I mean, serious topics are discussed, but we're still human. Sometimes tensions can arise due to different points of view, but that's normal.

Welcome to the forum, don't be afraid to interact~

 

[whywere]

You ARE family here and NEVER EVER let anyone tell you differently.

All the decades that I have been around, it always seems to have that person(s) who know better or want to tell a person how to live or what to think, wear, the list goes on.

I am so grateful having you as family on here and the same folk(s) who try and dictate your life, probably have so many skeletons in their closet that it would make a person shudder.

Ever since back in the 1960's, I have had people who "knew" what was better for me than they did. Guess what? down the road of life, they had a dirty secret that would get out about them, which would make any and everything that they tried to tell others how to live become beyond mute.

You ARE a precious person and do what is right for YOU, and never ever live someone else's life or what they think that everyone, BUT themselves should live.

The old saying: "do as I say, NOT as I do", is pure B.S.

You are family on here and so kind and wonderful.

WELCOME my excellent family member.

Walter

 

[pleasexbexover]

It is kinda hard to say but you seemed to them like a "pro-lifer" maybe that's why or you really aren't ready for that phase. I don't blame them since we are already being attacked from all sides, be it infiltrators, antivirus companies, everybody thinks we are someone who they are righteously kick at and feel good.

Oh wow. I didn't realize there were phases to being so miserable that I didn't want to be here
Thank you to everyone seeing my point of view
Damn it's like that corroborated the exact message of this post

Oh wow. I didn't realize there were phases to being so miserable that I didn't want to be here
Thank you to everyone seeing my point of view

As crazy as it sounds, I've found some fantastic, genuine people here. I don't think I've ever written such long texts in messages before. As if we've known each other for a long time, the closeness this forum creates is surprising.

It is far from being an evil, dangerous or dark place as some say. Even though everyone has their own unique set of problems, sometimes a good-faith post pops up to generate some humor, perhaps a meme or comment. I mean, serious topics are discussed, but we're still human. Sometimes tensions can arise due to different points of view, but that's normal.

Welcome to the forum, don't be afraid to interact~

Thank you for being sweet and not judging me