Discussion Turns out if you're serious about your desire to ctb

[fkyou]

Turns out if you're serious about your desire to ctb and it's a no choice for you,if you procrastinate that for a long time-in years- things get worse most importantly your self esteem.and if you've never been one to think so lowly of themselves and feel disgusted by themselves, you'll starts being that person.its hell right here.

 

[Carrot]

Yeah, it is unlikely to get better in such state, it snowballs and gets harder and harder if you don't have things figured out early.

Of course people can try to mitigate it, fix things, but I don't see how being passive can end up being better.

 

[artificialpasta]

The problem, at least in my experience, is that self-improvement is only possible when we do things with a long term effect in mind. For example, studying for months for a difficult career certification exam that you may or may not pass. That takes intent and passion, which suicidality robs us of.

 

[Carrot]

Hard to think in long term with a war on the horizon. The world is incredibly messed up.

 

[NoHorizon]

That's exactly how I feel. I wish I'd killed myself years ago. My confidence and self esteem has only decreased further and even minor things feel worse than ever.

 

[overload]

especially when you're forced to do it and you are not really willing to do/want it, which is my case.
in november 2024, for example, i was at a point that i was feeling depressed and maybe i would have done it, but didn't have the method.

 

[Borderline&tired]

It's all very well putting it off, but it will eat you from the inside out. Having said that, for those of us who planned an OD as we've had enough of pain, & live in the UK it's getting harder to find the 'resources'. The Government seems to be shutting down all sites, yet there's still no real support. I've been bouncing between mental health, private therapy providers hired by the NHS, & my GP for months now. It's soul destroying to have the control ripped away from you, while there's no support.
I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[fkyou]

That's exactly how I feel. I wish I'd killed myself years ago. My confidence and self esteem has only decreased further and even minor things feel worse than ever.

My brain now is making me feel things about myself I've not felt before.as if all the people in the world are people but me I'm a worthless bug.not being okay is truly dangerous on the brain.it doesn't matter if you were fine before.you only are what you are now.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It is a viscous cycle. Reluctant to die, but struggling to rebuild.

1. "I'm 18. I should do something with my life while I am still young."
2. "Nah. What's the point in doing anything? I'm not gonna be alive for much longer."
3. "Damn. It's been seven years and I'm still here! Maybe I should actually get my life in check since I'm probably not going to die soon."
4. "I'm almost 30. It's hard to start again at this age. I've wasted my life. Maybe I should kill myself then?"
5. "I'm 40, and I am still not dead."
6. Repeat.

 

[kopebaldy]

It is a viscous cycle. Reluctant to die, but struggling to rebuild.

1. "I'm 18. I should do something with my life while I am still young."
2. "Nah. What's the point in doing anything? I'm not gonna be alive for much longer."
3. "Damn. It's been seven years and I'm still here! Maybe I should actually get my life in check since I'm probably not going to die soon."
4. "I'm almost 30. It's hard to start again at this age. I've wasted my life. Maybe I should kill myself then?"
5. "I'm 40, and I am still not dead."
6. Repeat.

Step 4 bay beeeeee

Hopefully no step 5 for me lol