Venting Trying to source SN has me extremely stressed out

[GoingHome11:11]

I've been planning to ctb for years now. I was going to do it NYE 2020 going into 2021, but my younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a couple of months before NYE and I couldn't do that to her or my mother at that time. I love them both deeply, so I had to hold on until my sister beat it. She finally did and is doing extremely well now, so my time has finally come.

All these years I was planning to jump from my 25th floor balcony, but since my ctb date is nearing, I'm realizing that I'm too scared of heights to do it this way. I've been going back and forth with the idea of other methods and I've narrowed it down to partial hanging or SN.

SN seems more reliable and less traumatic in my opinion, but it is SO HARD to find a legitimate source. I hate that I didn't discover this method until all of these regulations were put into place. It's extremely unfair that we can't decide what's best for ourselves. If I want to buy something to ctb on my own terms I should be able to do so without the gov't getting in the way of that. Like seriously, what's it to them? Why do they care so much? They certainly don't care about me while I've been struggling through this life, so why do they care now that I want to end it? It's maddening honestly. Everything that makes it easy for us gets taken away. I looked into helium at first, now the tanks aren't pure anymore. Then nitrogen and that's now hard to source. Finally SN and that's now hard to source as well. It's like they want us to ctb in the most brutal and/or painful ways possible.

I'm so ready to go, but I can't do it in any of the peaceful ways I want to. I feel so stuck here and it's causing me a crazy amount of stress. I may just have to go back to my original plan and just suck it up since it'll only take a few seconds, but I'd much rather go out peacefully rather than terrified. Since I believe in reincarnation, I feel that the mental state in which you leave this world will carry over to the next life and that worries me.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I know this is long, but I just really needed to vent and this is the only place I can do so. Out of everything messed up about the methods and whatnot, at least we all have this community that shares our same mindset and that brings me some comfort. This is literally the one good thing in the middle of all of this and I'm so grateful I found this place.

 

[UKscotty]

I think too much misinformation is spread around which makes people feel trapped.

There are no new regulations, SN has not been banned and it is still readily available. It was just voluntarily delisted by some sellers, mostly ebay and amazon.

You don't have a new account, so I'm certain a couple of the trusted SN pros will share local sources with you.

 

[GoingHome11:11]

I think too much misinformation is spread around which makes people feel trapped.

There are no new regulations, SN has not been banned and it is still readily available. It was just voluntarily delisted by some sellers, mostly ebay and amazon.

You don't have a new account, so I'm certain a couple of the trusted SN pros will share local sources with you.

Good to know! I'll try reaching out to someone.

 

[Jiroscope]

I think too much misinformation is spread around which makes people feel trapped.

There are no new regulations, SN has not been banned and it is still readily available. It was just voluntarily delisted by some sellers, mostly ebay and amazon.

You don't have a new account, so I'm certain a couple of the trusted SN pros will share local sources with you.

Is this true? I'm in Canada and the last source I knew got arrested and then that made me feel trapped... I felt so stupid for waiting to order, but I was hearing that people were getting checked on by the police for ordering so that scared me.

I agree with OP, I never gave my consent to be born, so why do I need other people's consent to die? If someone really wants to die, they'll do it. It's just a matter of method. It's fucked to force them to do violent and unreliable methods when it's possible to go a lot more peacefully. People who are considering to CTB are already suffering, it's fucked to make them go through one last violent experience.

 

[Otaku]

I have the same exact problem.
And i have asked one. Got no answer.
I have tried sourcing a new one on my own..Got the message: You have to run a business to be able to buy from me, and it's a dangerous chemical. i could almost feel from that message, people had contacted this person many times. ( Tried sourcing on a market place from P0land)

So i really could need some help too. I just don't know who to reach out to,

. I felt so stupid for waiting to order, but I was hearing that people were getting checked on by the police for ordering so that scared me.

exactly.
Edit: i also had a source i found from Ukr@aine. But his website shot down. MDC. And i dont know this persons new one:

 

[GoingHome11:11]

I have tried sourcing a new one on my own..Got the message: You have to run a business to be able to buy from me, and it's a dangerous chemical. i could almost feel from that message, people had contacted this person many times.

This is exactly the message I got too. I thought I had found a source since the 100% pure SN on the website had that business message on the product listing, but the 97% didn't. So, I added it to my cart and went to checkout. It wouldn't let me and that message popped up. I was crushed.

 

[Decided98]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so trapped in this existence, It's so incredibly cruel and horrible to me how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible, I despise how in this anti-suicide society it's too much to ask for if one simply wants to die in peace, I really wish there's the option to just peacefully cease existing without any risks or complications. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

Does this happen to some people ….? That's so sketchy
Like the cops just show up after to check on your safety because the original seller calls them? That's so odd …. And definitely wouldn't want that on my file anywhere …

 

[restlessdream3r]

I'm looking too and it seems impossible. Even sources on the dark web I've tried only are selling drugs for the most part. ;(

 

[divinemistress36]

Seems the only legit ones only sell to businesses and the rest are scams

 

[calebzz1]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

Can you PM a source?

 

[BackToLobby]

I will be thankful if somebody shared with me any SN source. I have 500g ordered but seller haven't delivered yet and I don't know the purity % so I want to have a backup seller

 

[Decided98]

Does this happen to some people ….? That's so sketchy
Like the cops just show up after to check on your safety because the original seller calls them? That's so odd …. And definitely wouldn't want that on my file anywhere …

Happened to me with IC but the owner was giving out advice how to CTB with it and it all went to court and, the police received every single persons name who bought it. Just a welfare check but extremely embarrassing and actual made me feel worse.

 

[koalamenace12]

c

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

can u pls contact me, on reddit or somethinf

 

[GoingHome11:11]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

I'm so sorry, I hadn't signed back on since I wrote this rant. I was really going through it that night and needed to step away for a bit. I missed the comfort this community brings, so I'm back now. If this offer still stands, please PM me. I will order it and definitely let you know if they do a welfare check. I would be mortified, so I really hope they don't, but I'll take the chance.

 

[chronicrexie]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

please contact me. i'm in canada

 

[thatisitguy]

I've been planning to ctb for years now. I was going to do it NYE 2020 going into 2021, but my younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a couple of months before NYE and I couldn't do that to her or my mother at that time. I love them both deeply, so I had to hold on until my sister beat it. She finally did and is doing extremely well now, so my time has finally come.

All these years I was planning to jump from my 25th floor balcony, but since my ctb date is nearing, I'm realizing that I'm too scared of heights to do it this way. I've been going back and forth with the idea of other methods and I've narrowed it down to partial hanging or SN.

SN seems more reliable and less traumatic in my opinion, but it is SO HARD to find a legitimate source. I hate that I didn't discover this method until all of these regulations were put into place. It's extremely unfair that we can't decide what's best for ourselves. If I want to buy something to ctb on my own terms I should be able to do so without the gov't getting in the way of that. Like seriously, what's it to them? Why do they care so much? They certainly don't care about me while I've been struggling through this life, so why do they care now that I want to end it? It's maddening honestly. Everything that makes it easy for us gets taken away. I looked into helium at first, now the tanks aren't pure anymore. Then nitrogen and that's now hard to source. Finally SN and that's now hard to source as well. It's like they want us to ctb in the most brutal and/or painful ways possible.

I'm so ready to go, but I can't do it in any of the peaceful ways I want to. I feel so stuck here and it's causing me a crazy amount of stress. I may just have to go back to my original plan and just suck it up since it'll only take a few seconds, but I'd much rather go out peacefully rather than terrified. Since I believe in reincarnation, I feel that the mental state in which you leave this world will carry over to the next life and that worries me.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I know this is long, but I just really needed to vent and this is the only place I can do so. Out of everything messed up about the methods and whatnot, at least we all have this community that shares our same mindset and that brings me some comfort. This is literally the one good thing in the middle of all of this and I'm so grateful I found this place.

I know a place that sells it in the US. I'd DM you the place but it seems like I can't. I ended up getting way too much SN and sending some back LOL

 

[msesis]

I know a place that sells it in the US. I'd DM you the place but it seems like I can't. I ended up getting way too much SN and sending some back LOL

Hi.. I found some sources that sell in the US but only to business accounts. I even tried to fake one with a fake website and everything but they want a registration number. Getting frustrated.. do you know if your source ships to Canada?

 

[thatisitguy]

Hi.. I found some sources that sell in the US but only to business accounts. I even tried to fake one with a fake website and everything but they want a registration number. Getting frustrated.. do you know if your source ships to Canada?

On Amazon? IDK if I was asked that but if I did I was able to skip it. Put something fake. DM me and I will tell you where you can buy it from a sporting good store.

 

[Wish2Exit]

I've been planning to ctb for years now. I was going to do it NYE 2020 going into 2021, but my younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a couple of months before NYE and I couldn't do that to her or my mother at that time. I love them both deeply, so I had to hold on until my sister beat it. She finally did and is doing extremely well now, so my time has finally come.

All these years I was planning to jump from my 25th floor balcony, but since my ctb date is nearing, I'm realizing that I'm too scared of heights to do it this way. I've been going back and forth with the idea of other methods and I've narrowed it down to partial hanging or SN.

SN seems more reliable and less traumatic in my opinion, but it is SO HARD to find a legitimate source. I hate that I didn't discover this method until all of these regulations were put into place. It's extremely unfair that we can't decide what's best for ourselves. If I want to buy something to ctb on my own terms I should be able to do so without the gov't getting in the way of that. Like seriously, what's it to them? Why do they care so much? They certainly don't care about me while I've been struggling through this life, so why do they care now that I want to end it? It's maddening honestly. Everything that makes it easy for us gets taken away. I looked into helium at first, now the tanks aren't pure anymore. Then nitrogen and that's now hard to source. Finally SN and that's now hard to source as well. It's like they want us to ctb in the most brutal and/or painful ways possible.

I'm so ready to go, but I can't do it in any of the peaceful ways I want to. I feel so stuck here and it's causing me a crazy amount of stress. I may just have to go back to my original plan and just suck it up since it'll only take a few seconds, but I'd much rather go out peacefully rather than terrified. Since I believe in reincarnation, I feel that the mental state in which you leave this world will carry over to the next life and that worries me.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I know this is long, but I just really needed to vent and this is the only place I can do so. Out of everything messed up about the methods and whatnot, at least we all have this community that shares our same mindset and that brings me some comfort. This is literally the one good thing in the middle of all of this and I'm so grateful I found this place.

You're not alone. I have many of the same frustrations over government interference and wish we could just go to a doctor to get a lethal injection preceded by a nice blissful dose of valium before becoming unconscious. Also, I too had to do a lot of research before settling on sodium nitrite as well.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

The problem with SN is that I'm worried about the taste and not being able to swallow it

 

[dying flower]

The problem with SN is that I'm worried about the taste and not being able to swallow it

What about a mouth numbing spray?

 

[lilmisswbd2cbt]

On Amazon? IDK if I was asked that but if I did I was able to skip it. Put something fake. DM me and I will tell you where you can buy it from a sporting good store.

DO NOT BUY OR USE PRO CURE SN

This new source from FF is not reliable. Pro Cure brand SN is known to be nitrate. You will get sick if you ingest it.

sanctioned-suicide.net

SN seemed pretty easy to order to me.

I'm in the USA but other places may vary.

sanctioned-suicide.net

are there any SN sources anymore or is it dry?

hi. unfortunately i’m a little late to being serious about SN. by my understanding, that one guy was the only source around and then BBC cucked it. is there other sources around on tor? how is stuff from al***ba? or is SN just dry rn? should i just find a new method or just wait for more...

sanctioned-suicide.net

just a heads up…

 

[tezw]

Similar boat here too ic was a good source, but that is now gone, since then I have heard of nothing but scams, there must be somewhere surely, if sn is no longer readily available then what would work just as well ? Does anybody have sources they could pm me please, as a little desperate, only if you know of any, I wish you well op on your journey, whatever you decide to do

 

[Decided98]

Do

I'm so sorry, I hadn't signed back on since I wrote this rant. I was really going through it that night and needed to step away for a bit. I missed the comfort this community brings, so I'm back now. If this offer still stands, please PM me. I will order it and definitely let you know if they do a welfare check. I would be mortified, so I really hope they don't, but I'll take the chance.

nt have source no more let me know if you get one

 

[msesis]

On Amazon? IDK if I was asked that but if I did I was able to skip it. Put something fake. DM me and I will tell you where you can buy it from a sporting good store.

Yes on Amazon.. thank you, I'll dm you!

 

[thatisitguy]

DO NOT BUY OR USE PRO CURE SN

This new source from FF is not reliable. Pro Cure brand SN is known to be nitrate. You will get sick if you ingest it.

sanctioned-suicide.net

SN seemed pretty easy to order to me.

I'm in the USA but other places may vary.

sanctioned-suicide.net

are there any SN sources anymore or is it dry?

hi. unfortunately i’m a little late to being serious about SN. by my understanding, that one guy was the only source around and then BBC cucked it. is there other sources around on tor? how is stuff from al***ba? or is SN just dry rn? should i just find a new method or just wait for more...

sanctioned-suicide.net

just a heads up…

The funny thing about it being Nitrate and not Nitrite is that I used a test strip for both and both came out negative. That being said, I am sticking to overdosing on fentanyl. This is helpful and stressful at the same time.

 

[futile-]

I'll send you the source if you let me know if you get a wellfare check

I'm in Canada and can let you know.

 

[onbekend]

I feel you.
It's stressing because I know I don't have the strength to shoot myself or jump off a building/bridge just yet, and SN is the best option despite me living in the US. I just wish it was easier to obtain. I hope there's an easy way to get it soon.