Venting What's the point anymore?

[BeepyNerd]

Almost everyone I've been close friends with and literally everyone I've dated has either fucked off by CTB or fucked off from my life because I was too much to handle for them. So here I am now, finally creating an account after lurking for a while and trying to get by on the fringes of social media where I had found some peeps. Some part of me wants to keep breathing, after all at least 3 of the 7 years since my last CTB attempt have been "good" by some definition, but it's just so hard. And even with the good times, I'm not sure whether they're worth the bad ones. So sorry if this post has been a mess, I'm just trying to keep the feelings at bay by numbing them with alc and weed but evidently it's not working. I just wish there were anyone willing to give me a hug (and not hundreds of kilometers away, unlike the new friends I've made on social media who will probably CTB soon as well)

 

[CutToRelease]

That's fair I suppose it's hard to keep living when u want good thing but bad things still happen. I cant die just yet, at least not by my hand. So to stem the pain I would feel I just don't care. If u don't want anything good then u cant be disappointed when bad things happen. But nothings perfect cause then when good things happen u cant feel the happiness that should come with them.

I'm unsure if any of what I say can help you. But I give u my finest pointless speaks. In the hopes I could placate what pains u perhaps. Best of luck with life. ;)

 

[honorando]

Almost everyone I've been close friends with and literally everyone I've dated has either fucked off by CTB or fucked off from my life because I was too much to handle for them. So here I am now, finally creating an account after lurking for a while and trying to get by on the fringes of social media where I had found some peeps. Some part of me wants to keep breathing, after all at least 3 of the 7 years since my last CTB attempt have been "good" by some definition, but it's just so hard. And even with the good times, I'm not sure whether they're worth the bad ones. So sorry if this post has been a mess, I'm just trying to keep the feelings at bay by numbing them with alc and weed but evidently it's not working. I just wish there were anyone willing to give me a hug (and not hundreds of kilometers away, unlike the new friends I've made on social media who will probably CTB soon as well)

Why should there be a point or a reason?
For me Life doesnt have a point or a specific reason, i live because my parents met and had sex.
I do have friends but i dont care about them deeply they are here for social interactions , i literally cant get attached. Thats how i am atleast.
I wouldnt speal to people who make you feel negatively, you dont need a best friend. perhaps what you need is people who with you socialy interect.

 

[wham311]

Why should there be a point or a reason?
For me Life doesnt have a point or a specific reason, i live because my parents met and had sex.

This is excrutiating to know. 85 years of pain just because of this.