Trying to recover but I just can't

[Denza]

So it's been awhile since I'd last been on this forum and thats mainly because I've been trying to fix myself instead of looking at ctb being the final answer. It's been really difficult since I can't escape the negative stimuli in my life cuz it's both in my school and at home but Ive just been too afraid to tell people that.

It had gotten to the point where I tried to ctb just last night but got too scared and pussied out. (Ikr coward haha)

I want to move on from the relationship, I want to fix myself, but it's just so difficult when everything reminds me of it. I just want to escape this pain but I dont know how to. And im scared that I wont be able to. A member of this forum has been keeping me company this whole time and Im thankful for that. It's the second time in my life where I felt id actually been listened to.

Just wanted to get this off my chest.
How else should I have handled it

 

[HighFlight]

Life can be so difficult on its own, but even more so when you add more stressors (negative family, school situations) and/or loss support systems (such as family). I'm glad you were able to connect with someone on the site.

"Coward" is not the word I'd use to describe you. SI is incredibly powerful, and is hardwired into your brain. Instead, I think you've show incredible courage coming here and telling us of your experiences.

You are welcome to dm me if you would like to talk. There is also several recovery resources threads pinned to the top of this forum. Included in there is a recovery support group thread, which you would be more than welcomed.

Hopefully you can find the answers you're looking for.