Help I want to die but I can't hurt my people

[Kimlett]

I'm done with life. I hate it and I see it as pointless. I only feel pain and the good things in life are sedatives to endure the pain. It's not just about my depression anymore, life is shitty and boring and ridiculous and I'm just done. I want to kill myself.

But I can't, because I have some people in my live who love me deeply and I would ruin their lives if I ctb, and they don't deserve it.

So I'm trapped and I don't know what to do. I guess I need to change my perspective on life somehow, find a reason to live, not just a reason to not ctb. However, I find it extraordinarily difficult at this point.

I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks.

 

[Salhalla]

I dont know if this would help but maybe looking at philosophy? If you read about some of the greatest philosophers in history and there reasons to live. Maybe look at what they had to say about suicide. Now I myself am not an expert on philosophy but reading a bit on life has given me a tiny glimmer of hope and kept me going for just a tiny bit longer.