I upset my partner last night. I'm sure he's finally done with me.
My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to keep hurting him, I need to accept his choice.
I remind myself to be calm and patient while I hear the words and reasons I'm not good enough.
I will be gone soon enough. I will be gone soon enough. This suffering is temporary.
CTB is, ironically, my lifeline to not hold on to things that are not mine and allow the patterns of the universe to unfold.
I have to just "okay, okay, I understand" through the whole talk whenever he decides to have it. I won't beg, I won't offer solutions, I won't make him feel bad for his decision. I must be okay. To be okay, I must hold on to my need to CTB.
We as partners are not perfect, and I've never left his side through some dark and even violent moments. He is just not willing to do the same for me, and I can't blame anyone for doing what's best for them.
Maybe in another life.
My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to keep hurting him, I need to accept his choice.
I remind myself to be calm and patient while I hear the words and reasons I'm not good enough.
I will be gone soon enough. I will be gone soon enough. This suffering is temporary.
CTB is, ironically, my lifeline to not hold on to things that are not mine and allow the patterns of the universe to unfold.
I have to just "okay, okay, I understand" through the whole talk whenever he decides to have it. I won't beg, I won't offer solutions, I won't make him feel bad for his decision. I must be okay. To be okay, I must hold on to my need to CTB.
We as partners are not perfect, and I've never left his side through some dark and even violent moments. He is just not willing to do the same for me, and I can't blame anyone for doing what's best for them.
Maybe in another life.
