Trying the night night method tomorrow

[Braindead Atheist]

Hey everyone. I am just about ready to call it quits. I'm not getting much out of life. I'm retarded and best case scenario I'll be working as a greeter, cashier or sweeping floors for probably only 13-14 hourly at most. Worst case I end up homeless. I always wanted to be a graphic designer or a designer of some kind, but I know there will be some aspect of the job I won't be smart enough to do.

I'm feeling really drained thinking of what lys ahead. It was always hope for the future that kept me going. Everyone told me how much "talent" I had with design.
I worked my ass off through out school despite being slow. I had to give up my recess to get accemic help at the public school up the hill. And in 6th grade at the private school I attended I was bullied by the principal and nun.

Then I switched to alternative middle school and was bullied by a group of Boys who made fun of my weight. I've also been to countless psych wards and was drugged and bullied there too.
My freshman year of high school my only friend stopped being my friend because I wanted to kill myself and the same thing happened in college. I've faced endless bullying and discrimination in the job world for being slow and under preforming.

My best isn't good enough and I'm not getting what I need in this life.
There's nothing here for me but disappointment and dissatisfaction.

My family constantly reminds me what a burden I am. I'm so emotionally draining and my talks of wanted to due are unhealthy for my siblings to hear, my parents can't help me. I should move out, I should just choose to be happy.etc

Yet they dont want me to kill myself. So they want me to suffer with a smile on my face or do it away from them?! That's cruel and selfish. I hate them, id be better off not hearing this bs from them and not being understood. I hate how they act like I'm some black sheep and that they want to shield my perfect little brothers from me. Their attitude is toxic.
I hate them all and I hope they suffer as much as me once I'm gone.

I've tried to keep a good attitude. I've done nothing but watch my peers succeed, knowing full well my turn would never come. They've always gotten things so easy. While I worked my ass off and got half the results.

But it doesn't matter anymore because it all equals out in the oblivion. I'll be gone soon and know nothing. It's not what I wanted but it's the best outcome possible. I'll take it over this crap sack of a life. Wish me luck tomorrow on my ctb. I'm trying the blood choke method.

 

[theboy]

How unfair life is to you. I hope that in the next life you can be a good designer... hug!

 

[Hollowillow]

No retards can write as good as you. You're a missunderstood genius. We're slow because we analyze everything. I have a high IQ but couldn't make it in graphic design because I have to handle sexually abusive clients, who don't know what they want, and change their whim everyday, refusing to pay. It's all about who we know, not talent. Maybe you could self publish kid books. But I was also bullied by the people paid to help me heal from bullying...

Can you please teach me, us all, how you'll go? Tutorials are hard. Let's chat?

I suck at comforting people because my heart is so broken... But I hear you. I feel for you. I believe you. I think you're right. They're shit and deserve to die. Sad that the best of us go while the true dumb fucks with no heart reproduce.

I hope we can all flee this hell ball. So the monsters can just... self destruct humanity...

I hope you'll succeed.

 

[DreamSurfer]

Very sorry that you have been treated so poorly throughout life, and were failed by so many people that should have been your support. Hate to see someone forced to leave due to treatment from others, but I can understand.

Wishing you peace and an end to your suffering, with whatever you decide for yourself.

 

[TiredLostHope20]

May you find peace. Many Hugs!!

 

[Saturn's Rings]

Best wishes for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you have suffered a lot in life. I understand that it's so dreadful being trapped in an existence that you hate. Some people really are just so cruel and to me it's awful the way that many people treat others. I've never heard of anyone succeeding with the Night Night method before but if it works then I guess that it's always another option to ctb. I wish you freedom from what you are going through.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Hey everyone, my friend asked me to hang out the day I planned to do it. I guess I'll do it next time things get bad.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Very sorry that you have been treated so poorly throughout life, and were failed by so many people that should have been your support. Hate to see someone forced to leave due to treatment from others, but I can understand.

Wishing you peace and an end to your suffering, with whatever you decide for yourself.

I'd like to see things work out but ending my suffering (ctb) would give me a permanent break and the peace I deserve. While also teaching the fuck ups a lesson.

It sounds like you have suffered a lot in life. I understand that it's so dreadful being trapped in an existence that you hate. Some people really are just so cruel and to me it's awful the way that many people treat others. I've never heard of anyone succeeding with the Night Night method before but if it works then I guess that it's always another option to ctb. I wish you freedom from what you are going through.

It's probably to good to be true. But I'm glad I have support on this website. I feel safe and understood here. Most people judge me when I talk about my problems. I need to get out. I'm tired of my family and their crap. I wish I didn't need their help so I wouldn't have to talk to them ever again. I wish there was either an oblivion we could enter without trauma or an existence that isn't so pernicious (aka hellish).