trying something new

[syntheticSun]

i want to begin with saying this is my first post and i have no expectation of anyone seeing this. its great if someone does but i think i just need to do this for myself, im not sure where else to go.

i lost most all of my support system and im in a position where for the first time im really on my own here. for a lot of different reasons i dont really care to get into, i was in treatment for my bpd and lost access to it a few months back. im fixing to get myself in a position to not want to CTB but right now im in the depths of it. i sleep 8 hrs, work for 9 and eat 1 meal a day. i recently picked up SH again and it gives me a weird warmth, tending my own wounds. i do try to keep up with daily maintenance that comes with having a body but its hard, im sure you know. i want to give up, i genuinely dont think anyone would be burdened with my passing (at least in the long term) but i have to take my brothers cat to the vet next week so i suppose i cant yet.

i dont really know what i wished to accomplish here, its my first time speaking out on the internet and the space is so vast maybe no one will notice me anyways. im going to try out a new boba place that opened nearby. sometimes little things can be enough, even for a day

 

[Eriktf]

its okey to struggle you could go to your doctor asking to get into something with a support network, maybe a crisis plan

if you ever want to vent then this site are surprisingly good for it

hope you get better soon

Recovery and Crisis Resource Compilation

The following are resources for you to reach out for help and support. We encourage you to seek recovery and be happy. Different resources work for different people, so we encourage you try several until you find what you need. Your happiness comes first. The list has been created from...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[westerly_merlin]

i want to begin with saying this is my first post and i have no expectation of anyone seeing this. its great if someone does but i think i just need to do this for myself, im not sure where else to go.

i lost most all of my support system and im in a position where for the first time im really on my own here. for a lot of different reasons i dont really care to get into, i was in treatment for my bpd and lost access to it a few months back. im fixing to get myself in a position to not want to CTB but right now im in the depths of it. i sleep 8 hrs, work for 9 and eat 1 meal a day. i recently picked up SH again and it gives me a weird warmth, tending my own wounds. i do try to keep up with daily maintenance that comes with having a body but its hard, im sure you know. i want to give up, i genuinely dont think anyone would be burdened with my passing (at least in the long term) but i have to take my brothers cat to the vet next week so i suppose i cant yet.

i dont really know what i wished to accomplish here, its my first time speaking out on the internet and the space is so vast maybe no one will notice me anyways. im going to try out a new boba place that opened nearby. sometimes little things can be enough, even for a day

I think lots of people here think they are on their own. Some times we are too worried what people might think or we don't want to be a burden so we keep it all in.

I have found reading various posts on this forum really helpful, not just because there are others that are going through the same experiences as my but also there is some good advice. There are plenty of people here that are happy to chat and understand what you might be feeling.

A good therapist helps, they are paid to listen .