Story Tried and failed tonight

[WeighAnchor]

Well, I had everything ready. I was content with how much I've written in my suicide letter, I unsubscribed from everything, I wrote down how to access my phone and email passwords, paid the bills for the coming month and scheduled some text messages to be sent tomorrow morning and evening. Just in case I set some alarms on my phone too, in the hopes that if all else fails, maybe it'd annoy the shit out of my neighbours until they finally come find out what the noise is.

I used the blood choke method from the megathread, with a ratchet strap and cornhole bags. I felt pretty sure it was gonna work since I'd gotten kinda light-headed before stopping while testing it out. Made repeated attempts for over an hour, tried "folding" the bags to make them squeeze tighter, tried adding bags, tried moving the ratchet. Same shit either way, all I got was a nasty headache and a sore throat. Final attempt I waited 30m and still nothing, couldn't get the ratchet strap any tighter. Good thing I set it up so I could cancel the texts from sending, won't have to deal with the drama.

I feel kinda I dunno, empty and disappointed. Kinda hopeless I guess? Like "wtf do I do now". I suppose I'll have to either edit this method (I'm thinking maybe a wider strap) or try to find a different method. Again. God fucking damnit.

 

[Asprex]

It must really suck to fail. I guess you'll have to find a more reliable method. Or you can take time to think about it. I don't know if you're running out of time but don't make quick decisions. Take care always!

 

[luminiby]

Yeah- the "well , alright" sigh is so true. Now you're just like "lol now what" and that's when you just sit there and watch an episode of family guy until you try again

 

[Lxions]

I'm sorry, it must be disappointing/painful that you were unsuccessful. I hope you find your peace. :(

 

[WeighAnchor]

It must really suck to fail. I guess you'll have to find a more reliable method. Or you can take time to think about it. I don't know if you're running out of time but don't make quick decisions. Take care always!

Yeah there's no rush, so at least there's that. I can take my time looking into different methods / making this one work but well, just a pain in the ass. I was ready to die.

 

[TheLakesKrueguer]

Well, I had everything ready. I was content with how much I've written in my suicide letter, I unsubscribed from everything, I wrote down how to access my phone and email passwords, paid the bills for the coming month and scheduled some text messages to be sent tomorrow morning and evening. Just in case I set some alarms on my phone too, in the hopes that if all else fails, maybe it'd annoy the shit out of my neighbours until they finally come find out what the noise is.

I used the blood choke method from the megathread, with a ratchet strap and cornhole bags. I felt pretty sure it was gonna work since I'd gotten kinda light-headed before stopping while testing it out. Made repeated attempts for over an hour, tried "folding" the bags to make them squeeze tighter, tried adding bags, tried moving the ratchet. Same shit either way, all I got was a nasty headache and a sore throat. Final attempt I waited 30m and still nothing, couldn't get the ratchet strap any tighter. Good thing I set it up so I could cancel the texts from sending, won't have to deal with the drama.

I feel kinda I dunno, empty and disappointed. Kinda hopeless I guess? Like "wtf do I do now". I suppose I'll have to either edit this method (I'm thinking maybe a wider strap) or try to find a different method. Again. God fucking damnit.

I've had the same problems, I understand you and it sucks.

 

[dimstar]

I'm sorry you felt so ready in the moment and were left to suffer. Dont be down it just wasnt the time. Atleast you were able to cancel the drama. Idk how I'd feel after that. But your not in a hospital, or injured and no one knows. You still have options. Just breath and watch one more sunrise. I'm sorry for what you went through.

 

[FuneralCry]

That method sounds risky to me, and I certainly hate how in this world it's so difficult to die, failing a ctb attempt sounds so awful to me and I believe that as humans we deserve the option to just pass away in peace without risks. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[freelifexit]

I recommend you to have scissors near to you when you will practice night night next time, in case if ratchet mechanism will be blocked.

Here is such failed night night cases:
Thread 'I attempted suicide by ratchet strap (night night) and failed. Be warned.'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...strap-night-night-and-failed-be-warned.73271/

Post in thread 'Night night questions'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/night-night-questions.105617/post-1895563

 

[WeighAnchor]

I recommend you to have scissors near to you when you will practice night night next time, in case if ratchet mechanism will be blocked.

Here is such failed night night cases:
Thread 'I attempted suicide by ratchet strap (night night) and failed. Be warned.'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...strap-night-night-and-failed-be-warned.73271/

Post in thread 'Night night questions'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/night-night-questions.105617/post-1895563

I appreciate the concern, and I did actually have that problem the first time I was testing it a few days ago. The strap was too long so the ratchet jammed, but I've cut it to a length now so that it can't. I also didn't know how to release the ratchet at the time, but I do now. I released the mechanism several times with the most recent time, so I don't think it'll be an issue.

Either way, I do have scissors, knives and box cutters within arm's reach or a few steps, so I think I should be fine. I really do appreciate the suggestion.

 

[WeighAnchor]

Seems like I got it to work now, I noticed the filling in the cornhole bags kept being pushed out to the sides when I tightened the ratchet. I tried "folding" the bags over on themselves and securing it with strings then tightening the ratchet again, and this time I started seeing stars after a few seconds, followed by one of my legs giving way. Fell over and knocked some stuff over. I was just testing it now so no big deal, did take the strap off though in case anyone came to ask about the noise (not that my neighbours ever do).

Not sure when I'll make another serious attempt, perhaps again tonight or in the coming few days.