Discussion "Traumatizing" People During CTB

[CTBookOfLife]

I see alot of people talking about their opinions here, and everyone's is so different.. but I see one very common theme:

A lot of people are against "traumatizing" people during your CTB.

This sort of makes me wonder.. why? So many people seem to hate society, and humans in general, then turn around and say this.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand it, but I also understand the other side too.. the thought of traumatizing an innocent person isn't something I'd like, but at what point does your own desire to CTB—your own need to end your suffering—negate that?

If the only way to CTB you have is bound to traumatize someone, what do you do? Or do you desire people to be traumatized? If so, who? Someone who has wronged you.. or anyone in particular? Would you want to send a message, "innocent people" be damned? Do you think the good of making your CTB public to send a message on would make up for any trauma caused?

I'm conflicted.. so I encourage anyone to take this poll and explain more about your view in a reply to the thread. Maybe it can help me clear my thoughts.

If you have an opinion not listed in the poll say so in the thread and explain it. Votes are anonymous to get the best results, feel free to explain more in the thread if anonymity is not something you require.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think a suicide that isn't assisted in a clinic can just happen without affecting people. Someone will have to discover the body and clean up the mess. It will depend of course on the person but it may well upset them. So- I simply don't think it's possible to CTB without it affecting people.

That said- I personally would prefer to avoid methods that involve random members of the public witnessing it. Of course- I realise some people have no choice.

For me though- yes- sure- I don't like society as a whole. I don't like how certain people behave. I just don't see inflicting that kind of image on some random group of people as being a targeted protest though. I guess I don't really hold with the whole- the world has been cruel to me- so I don't care what impact my actions will have in return. That's surely why we're in this mess! Because people feel justified in hurting others. Again though- it depends on a person's situation. Some people have no access to other methods.

It's still far from ideal but I would want to CTB at home with only the chance of police officers dealing with it. Again- not ideal but at least they knew it could be a part of their job and they'd have fair warning. Ideally- I would go for assisted suicide in a clinic and spare everyone all that but- my country doesn't offer it and I wouldn't be considered anyhow.

 

[Holu]

Regardless of how much I might hate society and the many individuals who inhabit and arguably plague it, I don't think any stranger deserves to see my corpse. Idk if we have forgotten, but kids exist, and the thought of a young child seeing someone take their own life is beyond mortifying to me.

Also, I can't speak for everyone, but I personally hate the pain society brings upon people, and a suicide in "protest" of society will still force pain and horror into bystander.

Finally, even if I didn't care about people I'd never do a public suicide. Too often have I seen people immediately take to Instagram and Snapchat and start FILMING corpses. Idk if it's pity points or clout, but whatever it is, it's disgusting and disrespectful. Whilst I don't really think it matters post death, I'll be damned to have my body filmed for some twisted peoples entertainment.

 

[TamiyaTiger]

I think it's very abusive to intentionally die or harm yourself in front of a specific person with the intent being to get revenge or punish them somehow, but I don't really care if some random onlooker is bothered by seeing a dead body.

I feel like the only reason people bring up the trauma of seeing a suicide is to give themselves justification to look down on someone who's killed themselves. "Look how selfish they are! This lowlife ruined the decent folk's day by having the gall to die in front of them!" I think if someone is deeply traumatized by seeing a stranger die then maybe it's a good thing they see it, so they can actually understand what the world is like.

 

[Holu]

I do wanna say one thing while we are all here. I'm curious as to how people feel about Buddhist monks who self immolate in protest.

While rare, this is usually done public, and it's a pretty extreme form of suicide.

 

[lavendermeadows]

I am suicidal due to the trauma my mom caused when she recklessly committed suicide… she was found bent backwards over a fence with a broken neck surrounded by vomit with her mouth curled in and her tongue white. So I'd suggest doing it in the least traumatizing way possible bc what she did is the reason I have my mind set on suicide. I can not live with the image she left me. Btw she overdosed on several prescription antidepressants

 

[Holu]

I am suicidal due to the trauma my mom caused when she recklessly committed suicide… she was found bent backwards over a fence with a broken neck surrounded by vomit with her mouth curled in and her tongue white. So I'd suggest doing it in the least traumatizing way possible bc what she did is the reason I have my mind set on suicide. I can not live with the image she left me. Btw she overdosed on several prescription antidepressants

Jesus Christ. And naturally that's something you remember for the rest of your life. I'm so sorry for what you experienced.

 

[lavendermeadows]

Jesus Christ. And naturally that's something you remember for the rest of your life. I'm so sorry for what you experienced.

Thank you. I don't blame my mom at all for her decision. She had a hard life and was mentally ill. I grew up being sex trafficked and abused and that's still better than what she experienced. I forgive her; but it's given me the motivation to end my life. I don't wanna be like her and waste 40+ years of life miserable, mentally Ill, and depressed.

 

[CTBookOfLife]

I think it's very abusive to intentionally die or harm yourself in front of a specific person with the intent being to get revenge or punish them somehow, but I don't really care if some random onlooker is bothered by seeing a dead body.

Interesting view! So is it your opinion that NO ONE deserves to have someone intentionally CTB in front of them due to the way that specific person has wronged them? Or do is there like, a "tier list" of whether someone deserves it?

For example, I have had many fantasies of CTBing in front of/in a way to affect the man who perpetrated repeated CSA on me, what would be your opinion on that?

Thank you for answering truthfully, it's very insightful! Only answer this if you feel comfortable, though!

 

[Holu]

Interesting view! So is it your opinion that NO ONE deserves to have someone intentionally CTB in front of them due to the way that specific person has wronged them? Or do is there like, a "tier list" of whether someone deserves it?

For example, I have had many fantasies of CTBing in front of/in a way to affect the man who perpetrated repeated CSA on me, what would be your opinion on that?

Thank you for answering truthfully, it's very insightful! Only answer this if you feel comfortable, though!

I dunno if I misunderstood what your proposing but I second that we should make an "acceptable to suicide in front of" tier list

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm not sure which answer I would click here. I personally do not want to traumatize someone else with my suicide. Officials (police and so) who clean the "mess" are used to such scenes maybe to even crueler scenes. Surely close relatives would be kinda "traumatized" because it's a loss and death, whether ctb or natural.

I do wanna say one thing while we are all here. I'm curious as to how people feel about Buddhist monks who self immolate in protest.

While rare, this is usually done public, and it's a pretty extreme form of suicide.

Everyone is free in their decisions and the way they choose to leave this world.

 

[Holu]

I'm not sure which answer I would click here. I personally do not want to traumatize someone else with my suicide. Officials (police and so) who clean the "mess" are used to such scenes maybe to even crueler scenes. Surely close relatives would be kinda "traumatized" because it's a loss and death, whether ctb or natural.


Everyone is free in their decisions and the way they choose to leave this world.

Naturally they are free, I'm just curious as to whether or not we view "in protests" suicides differently, seeing as that the majority of the poll is in agreement suicide should be kept privately

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Naturally they are free, I'm just curious as to whether or not we view "in protests" suicides differently, seeing as that the majority of the poll is in agreement suicide should be kept privately

I always say that each one of us are having their personal reasons why they want to CTB, in this case the personal reason may be protest against whatever. I guess they are not forced to do it?

And yes to me suicide is a totally private decision in any case and I'd prefer to do it at home in full privacy.

 

[winamp]

I would love (and have thought of or imagined several times) to pull a Ken Park in front of all of those that have hurt or wronged me or caused me mental torment in some way

as for strangers no

but I quickly realized that it is wrong and that I should forget and move on

and also because I do not want my final moments to be about others that no longer know or care about me along with the things they have done to me and won't take responsibility for

also because I do not want to die feeling angry or upset

I would rather die peacefully knowing that I've seen and experienced all that I needed to see and experience

with the negative outweighing the positive but trying to reminisce and appreciate the mundane and miniscule positive moments along with those who made me live a bit longer

but as a person who hasn't had friends or any kind of genuine connection on years I can understand why someone would CTB in front of strangers or in a public area not everyone is the same

but I feel like there could be a desire to be seen or remembered or connected in some way

which is also a reason why I would think of CTB-ing in front of people I know who have hurt me in some way that cannot be fixed or changed

 

[mouseteacup]

I want to minimise the amount of harm/hurt/trauma I inflict on other people, even if they have hurt me. I don't like our society, but I think humans are good. Ultimately, whatever way I die (even if that's not by CTB), it will affect those in my life and whoever witnesses the event. I don't think there's a way to avoid that. I voted "avoid as much as possible, only do if it is the only option."

If I do CTB, I want to do it at home or in a hotel and leave some sort of note, hopefully one that can't be missed. I want people to be able to call someone whose job it is to handle this sorta stuff instead of witnessing it themselves, y'know? If my only available methods involved traumatising "innocent people," I don't think I could do it. In times where I've been so suicidal I wanted to CTB that day, part of the reason I didn't attempt was because I didn't have a way to do it without traumatising an unknowable number of people. I don't think I can avoid hurting people, but I want to minimise it. Damage reduction.

...I'm struggling to pull together the rest of my thoughts on this as it's past midnight here and I'm just about to go to bed, so I'll leave it here.

 

[Holu]

I always say that each one of us are having their personal reasons why they want to CTB, in this case the personal reason may be protest against whatever. I guess they are not forced to do it?

And yes to me suicide is a totally private decision in any case and I'd prefer to do it at home in full privacy.

Oooooo last discussion question since you bit the bait and it just popped into my head.

What about accidental suicides, like when some insta clout demon shoots themselves(or has their gf shoot them if people remember that) for clout and accidentally die.

Again, kinda an intent question, since I'm wondering if people see it more or less acceptable for a public suicide

 

[TamiyaTiger]

Interesting view! So is it your opinion that NO ONE deserves to have someone intentionally CTB in front of them due to the way that specific person has wronged them? Or do is there like, a "tier list" of whether someone deserves it?

For example, I have had many fantasies of CTBing in front of/in a way to affect the man who perpetrated repeated CSA on me, what would be your opinion on that?

Thank you for answering truthfully, it's very insightful! Only answer this if you feel comfortable, though!

I feel that it's not a matter of deserving or not, but that the behavior is objectively abusive. Weaponization of suicide/self-harm is largely seen as an abusive tactic, there's no condition that says "it's not abusive if the other person deserved it".

My ex-girlfriend was abusive towards me at times, sometimes she would hit me. So one time I hit her back, her eye swelled up and her nose poured blood. I could try to justify it to myself by saying that she deserved it, but it doesn't matter whether she deserved it or not, hitting her was still an act of abuse, I still went to jail for it, and as far as anyone is concerned I'm an abuser.

I get that CSA is much more serious than being slapped by your partner every now and then, but I think the point still stands. It's normal to fantasize about this sort of thing but I think acting it out is unhinged, and if it went wrong the authorities would likely show you very little sympathy. It would also be a bit embarrassing if you went to all the trouble to die in this way only for him to be more or less unphased by the whole thing, or a bit shaken for a few weeks until the memory gets pushed out by other more pressing issues.

But I really don't think my opinion on it matters much, I have a more black and white mentality than most people, and most people probably disagree with me. I just know from experience that the mentality of "they deserve it" makes it really easy to turn into something really ugly.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Oooooo last discussion question since you bit the bait and it just popped into my head.

What about accidental suicides, like when some insta clout demon shoots themselves(or has their gf shoot them if people remember that) for clout and accidentally die.

Again, kinda an intent question, since I'm wondering if people see it more or less acceptable for a public suicide

Can there be an accidental suicide after all? There can be an accidental death due to very unfortunate circumstances e.g. with a gun or with BBQs) Anyone who possesses a weapon knows about the dangers when firing at themselves, the risk of death (at least severe injuries) is obvious. It's also their decision as long as they are not forced to do it imo. If their "gf" fired at them she might go to prison for that, it's their decision. I wouldn't fire at anyone with a gun even not if I'm asked to do it.

Whether public suicide is acceptable or not, nowadays society (especially in the "western world" is too weak and sensitive for the real life and how "cruel" it can be.

 

[maybunni]

Or do you desire people to be traumatized? If so, who? Someone who has wronged you.. or anyone in particular?

I might be insane for saying this, but I hope my father is the first and only person to discover my body. I love and care for everyone else in my family but him, so if anyone in my family had to discover my body, I'd want it to be him. The amount of trauma that man has given me growing up, makes it hard for me to care how my death would impact him.

 

[Holu]

Can there be an accidental suicide after all? There can be an accidental death due to very unfortunate circumstances e.g. with a gun or with BBQs) Anyone who possesses a weapon knows about the dangers when firing at themselves, the risk of death (at least severe injuries) is obvious. It's also their decision as long as they are not forced to do it imo. If their "gf" fired at them she might go to prison for that, it's their decision. I wouldn't fire at anyone with a gun even not if I'm asked to do it.

Whether public suicide is acceptable or not, nowadays society (especially in the "western world" is too weak and sensitive for the real life and how "cruel" it can be.

I don't think she went to jail, since he was tryna make a prank where he told her it wouldn't be serious and to shoot him in the chest.

Also that's a good perspective. I guess suicide in itself requires intent.

Edit: It was a youtuber not instagram fiend, also she did go to jail, but only for 180 days. https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech...ng-boyfriend-botched-youtube-stunt/427423002/

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't think she went to jail, since he was tryna make a prank where he told her it wouldn't be serious and to shoot him in the head.

I have no idea about the actual scene you are referring to here. From the viewpoint of law it's certainly difficult what would happen in the end.

But anyway I have to deal with my own (unsolvable) problems that make we want to CTB and that's enough.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me succeeding in the method would be the important thing, whatever happens in this world after I'm gone could never be my concern and if people get upset by finding a body of the person who has ctb then that's the fault of this anti-suicide society where there is so much secrecy involved in suicide and where assisted suicide isn't legalised. And anyway death is the most normal thing, everyone has to die somewhere, someday.

But I personally don't really see a public suicide as being a good idea as it could just lead to someone else interfering in suicide plans as this society is incredibly anti-suicide after all. In my case I would prefer to die alone far away from other people, I just want to be forgotten about, my decision to leave on my own terms wouldn't be anything to do with other people, I just wish for the true freedom of non-existence.

 

[SilentSadness]

While traumatising or hurting a stranger is to be avoided, it's not the fault of the suicider. As suicide is so difficult, it's acceptable to traumatise someone with suicide. Especially because brutalising one's corpse makes death more likely, and this society will do anything to keep people alive against their will.

 

[flightlessbutterfly]

For me, it has always been the gist of it. I've been hurt, so many times by these people. But I will never put anyone through the process of being the one to be there, because would that make me as bad as the people who hurt me? I'm not a vengeful person, I've always ever wanted people to be able to live and be happy in their last moments of life because most people don't deserve to die in fear. Either way, it's this mentality of deserving that just stops me from doing anything that could emotionally and mentally scar someone for life. I want to leave this earth sure, but I don't want to leave it with my last act of defiance being to etch the very core of my CTB in their brains for years to come. I can't bear that burden.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

The best would be in front of the one itis

I want her to see my die for her

 

[sammiechzxv]

I don't want to cause other people pain to get away from my own

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

I just want to ear her voice while i die, maybe she will cry for me would be beautiful

I will not consider it traumatizzing, its just the way of show my love to her was true

Lot of couple probably if one partner have to suffer or die for the other one will broke up