Help toxic friendship, don't know what to do.

[cryvinglightning]

i became friends with this person last year, driven by passions in common and a mutual project. being one of my first tight friendships from uni, at first he was really kind and an enjoyable company.
recently he's become abrasive. we always joked around with each other, but we all knew our limits and boundaries. he's been stepping all over them: he talks about my body in a weird and almost "fetishy" way, he embarassed me multiple times in front of a guy i liked (i then found out he had feelings for him, but that's a story for another day), and in general i feel like i'm being taken for granted.
i spoke to him multiple times about not joking about my body and my experiences, since i was pretty open with him about my discomfort, and he justified himself by saying he doesn't even like me "like that" and "he's afab after all so it doesn't really matter". i don't know what to do. all the friends i have in uni are in common with him. i dread every time we have to hang out one on one but i don't know how to separate myself from him because i would lose everyone. if anyone has advice, please, lay it on me. i need it desperately.

 

[Abandoned Character]

I do not know if this is applicable, but here is a possible low-confrontational way to deal with stupid jokes. When you hear a joke directed at you that you do not like, ask them to explain it like you do not understand. Like, seriously act stupid so they have to explain in full why making fun of your body is funny. Especially if you're around others at the time he may be uncomfortable with over-explaining something cruel. I haven't been in situation to actively apply this strategy so I do not know how effective/doable it is, but conceptually I think it is really powerful.

You're taking back control of the conversation by having the aggressor justify their comments, which they will have a difficult time doing if they want to look like a kind person.

Another approach, which it seems you have already tried, is being honest with how his comments make you feel. "Hey, that's really hurtful, would you mind not saying stuff like that?" And if he tries to walk it back/justify it, you can ask "so you do not care how I feel?"/"how I feel is not important to you?". Make him say the quiet part outload when he makes you feel uncomfortable. Especially around other friends, if they care about you they should support you.

Perhaps if you continue to feel misgivings about the relationship, and your other friends aren't supporting you, it's time to find another group. Hopefully something I said is helpful, regardless I wish you the best of luck. You deserve love and compassion, cheers~~

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

He sounds like a malignant narcissist because these types are nice at first and then begin the abuse.
It will only get worse as time goes on, because I know from experience.
Have you discussed his behaviour with any of the others ?
Maybe they hate him too.
You deserve much better than this.