Venting I just want him to let me die

[Bannana]

my ex boyfriend of 6 months says if I die he dies, I don't like that
I don't want him to do that because of me and I cant to that to him he has been through so much and he has made it so far and I cant do that
but I cant keep doing this I cant keep crying myself to sleep I cant keep locking up whenever I glance at a mirror I can't gag when I see my reflection I cant live like this
I don't know what to do and I love him a lot and I just want him to understand I cant fucking do this and I don't know how Ive even made it this far
so much pain and I am still here why am I still here I should be gone I should be in the comfy place I should be gone
But he wont let me he insists I cant do it and it just makes me cry more and he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me like the others did
I think the worst thing he's ever done is just calling me a stupid bitch and that's true so that's not that bad and everyone else did so much worse
he's amazing and I don't want to kill him but my skin is too tight and I just want to rip it all off and start again
I don't want to hurt anyone I just want everyone to be happy and feel loved and cared for and that's all I've ever wanted but I cant do it like this
I have to die but I cant at the same time and I feel like I'm going insane and I have no idea what to do
I love him so much
I love everyone
I just want someone to love me too
I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Everything is going to be okay.

 

[Cosis]

my ex boyfriend of 6 months says if I die he dies, I don't like that
I don't want him to do that because of me and I cant to that to him he has been through so much and he has made it so far and I cant do that
but I cant keep doing this I cant keep crying myself to sleep I cant keep locking up whenever I glance at a mirror I can't gag when I see my reflection I cant live like this
I don't know what to do and I love him a lot and I just want him to understand I cant fucking do this and I don't know how Ive even made it this far
so much pain and I am still here why am I still here I should be gone I should be in the comfy place I should be gone
But he wont let me he insists I cant do it and it just makes me cry more and he is perfect and he doesn't hurt me like the others did
I think the worst thing he's ever done is just calling me a stupid bitch and that's true so that's not that bad and everyone else did so much worse
he's amazing and I don't want to kill him but my skin is too tight and I just want to rip it all off and start again
I don't want to hurt anyone I just want everyone to be happy and feel loved and cared for and that's all I've ever wanted but I cant do it like this
I have to die but I cant at the same time and I feel like I'm going insane and I have no idea what to do
I love him so much
I love everyone
I just want someone to love me too
I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay

I don't understand. He is your ex, but you love him, and feel that no one loves you....The only type of person that will "die if you die" is a person that loves you. So there are only two options here.

1. He loves you, so your wish came true. Ride the wave.
2. He doesn't love you, and is just Virtue Signaling b/c he know it will stop you. He's just another one of the brainwashed masses that want to keep people suffering.

Either way you don't have anything to worry about from my point of view. He will be alive in both scenarios.

 

[uncat_]

i relate to this so much.