Today is the day (SN)

[IUsedToBeDepressed]

Then you have to leave soon so that I can still write, my clock is ticking and ticking and ticking ......


But I will be very happy to read such words from you in my goodbye thread

Are you planning on doing it early September? I hope you've thought it through (i just joined so i don't really know any of you). However, what I like about this website is that nobody is judging anyone for their decisions. I'm sad to see people go but I understand that it's what they wanted for their own reasons.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

You said you are happy to be alive. Do you still want to CTB? Are you making any other plans to do it?

We support your either way. If this experience changed you, and you are happy to be alive - we'll celebrate that with you, and help you anyway we can. But if you still want to CTB - we'll support you and respect your decision.

I've seen that my friends and family do care about me and are willing to support me every step of my road to recovery. In regards to CTB, I've put it on the back burner. Where I'll be getting professional help, I should at least give that a proper shot. If that doesn't work, then maybe I'll start thinking about CTB again.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

I've seen that my friends and family do care about me and are willing to support me every step of my road to recovery. In regards to CTB, I've put it on the back burner. Where I'll be getting professional help, I should at least give that a proper shot. If that doesn't work, then maybe I'll start thinking about CTB again.

My Friend
Glad To Hear You Are Feeling Much Better But Ohhh God I Am Put Off SN Now Not Sure My Stomach Will Handle It
Get Well Soon I Hope Your Recovery Gives You Peace Give Yourself Some TLC Now
Peace & Hugs

 

[Anxietykillsme]

My Friend
Glad To Hear You Are Feeling Much Better But Ohhh God I Am Put Off SN Now Not Sure My Stomach Will Handle It
Get Well Soon I Hope Your Recovery Gives You Peace Give Yourself Some TLC Now
Peace & Hugs

Please don't feel put off, that wasn't my intention. I was really nervous before hand too, so that probably didn't help at all. Plus I didn't have an AE which definitely didn't help. Thank you :)

 

[Isadeth]

I'm so glad you were able to get the help you needed! If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for them to administer the antidote? Did you tell the operator what you took, the paramedics, or the doctors?

I'm happy to hear your family is very supportive of you and you can feel their love and true caring. I wish you the best with your treatment and your current new lease on life! ♡♡♡

 

[Anxietykillsme]

I'm so glad you were able to get the help you needed! If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for them to administer the antidote? Did you tell the operator what you took, the paramedics, or the doctors?

I'm happy to hear your family is very supportive of you and you can feel their love and true caring. I wish you the best with your treatment and your current new lease on life! ♡♡♡

Well it took them around 20 minutes to get to my house, around 10 minutes banging on my front door whilst I crawled to open it, and around 10 minutes to get to the hospital. So far, that's 40 minutes. Then it took around 10 minutes for them to put the antidote on a drip for me. So I had SN in my system for 3 hours ish. I did tell the operator that I had ingested sodium nitrite so they did have the antidote there ready for me. Where I was so blue, I believe they would've known what to use even if I didn't tell them it was SN.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

What brand did you use? If you want to answer, you can put it in a spoiler and then delete it in a while. I ask because there is a brand on Amazon that has two different listings, two different product numbers, both are supposed to be 99% pure. I ordered one, tested with blood, and the blood didn't turn dark enough. I ordered the other one and the blood tested dark enough. So I'm wondering what brand you bought and if you tested it.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

What brand did you use? If you want to answer, you can put it in a spoiler and then delete it in a while. I ask because there is a brand on Amazon that has two different listings, two different product numbers, both are supposed to be 99% pure. I ordered one, tested with blood, and the blood didn't turn dark enough. I ordered the other one and the blood tested dark enough. So I'm wondering what brand you bought and if you tested it.

Don't think it was branded. It was sort of just plain packaging with the obvious warnings on it. I didn't test it, probably should have but I did see that people had the same one as me and tested it.

 

[grungeCat]

It's good you've made a decision. We're owners of our lives and the choice about ending it belongs to us. I wish you painless and peaceful death. I will join you in about 2 weeks. I'm ready now but I wanna do this when I'm back in Poland so my family don't worry about transferring my body between countries.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

It's good you've made a decision. We're owners of our lives and the choice about ending it belongs to us. I wish you painless and peaceful death. I will join you in about 2 weeks. I'm ready now but I wanna do this when I'm back in Poland so my family don't worry about transferring my body between countries.

Unfortunately I suffered a lot of pain and didn't drink the second cup. So I won't be there when you are. That's a good thing you're doing, that would definitely lower the stress on your family.

 

[bravotess]

What brand did you use? If you want to answer, you can put it in a spoiler and then delete it in a while. I ask because there is a brand on Amazon that has two different listings, two different product numbers, both are supposed to be 99% pure. I ordered one, tested with blood, and the blood didn't turn dark enough. I ordered the other one and the blood tested dark enough. So I'm wondering what brand you bought and if you tested it.

I ordered from amazon yesterday. Fingers crossed it comes quickly and is the correct product. The company name starts with "D" and is 4 letters. The picture is a white bottle with a red cap. Is that what you ordered and tested?

 

[Luna77]

Glad u Alive.
hapy u alive, but don't believe your story one bit. Sorry bud.

,

Glad u Alive.
hapy u alive, but don't believe your story one bit. Sorry bud.

Just

Glad u Alive.
hapy u alive, but don't believe your story one bit. Sorry bud.

(Just curious, what part of his story you don't believe?)

 

[Anonymoussn]

Glad u Alive.
hapy u alive, but don't believe your story one bit. Sorry bud.

I've said this before. But if people are going to outright call those whose story doesn't fit with the typical narrative on SN a liar, then it will deter anyone who has an unusual experience from posting.

If you are going to cast doubts, at least do it with consideration for the user's feelings. Even if you do not believe the story, you cannot know for sure. So imagine if you are wrong, and now you are calling someone who has just failed a CTB attempt a liar, after they've just spent time in the hospital and are most likely in a fragile state.

For the record, I am sceptical of everything I read, not only because I don't know of the person's intentions, but also because I dont know if they made a mistake. They might have got SN which is not pure. They might have got the dosage wrong. But if the latter is true, and they have come here with good intentions, I think this would be a really hurtful comment to read, just as it would be if their story is entirely true.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

I've said this before. But if people are going to outright call those whose story doesn't fit with the typical narrative on SN a liar, then it will deter anyone who has an unusual experience from posting.

If you are going to cast doubts, at least do it with consideration for the user's feelings. Even if you do not believe the story, you cannot know for sure. So imagine if you are wrong, and now you are calling someone who has just failed a CTB attempt a liar, after they've just spent time in the hospital and are most likely in a fragile state.

For the record, I am sceptical of everything I read, not only because I don't know of the person's intentions, but also because I dont know if they made a mistake. They might have got SN which is not pure. They might have got the dosage wrong. But if the latter is true, and they have come here with good intentions, I think this would be a really hurtful comment to read, just as it would be if their story is entirely true.

I don't understand why I would make something up haha, especially when it's something so sensitive to suicide. If anyone really wants proof, I'm happy to show proof of my discharge notice and the summary notes saying what had been taken.

 

[Luna77]

I'm not calling you a liar at all, I apologize, live in the middle of wooded area currently & have poor service on my iPhone & the battery is shitty on it. Was about to edit after seeing I posted by mistake again & my phone died.

 

[Anonymoussn]

I'm not calling you a liar at all, I apologize, live in the middle of wooded area currently & have poor service on my iPhone & the battery is shitty on it. Was about to edit after seeing I posted by mistake again & my phone died.

I was referring to another person's post, the one I replied to, and I assume OP is as well. I've not seen anything you've posted of that nature.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I ordered from amazon yesterday. Fingers crossed it comes quickly and is the correct product. The company name starts with "D" and is 4 letters. The picture is a white bottle with a red cap. Is that what you ordered and tested?

Post the link or just a photo on my wall. I'll delete it after we're done talking about it.

 

[Anxietykillsme]

I'm not calling you a liar at all, I apologize, live in the middle of wooded area currently & have poor service on my iPhone & the battery is shitty on it. Was about to edit after seeing I posted by mistake again & my phone died.

Nah it wasn't you. It was someone above you.

 

[cazwiz]

What brand did you use? If you want to answer, you can put it in a spoiler and then delete it in a while. I ask because there is a brand on Amazon that has two different listings, two different product numbers, both are supposed to be 99% pure. I ordered one, tested with blood, and the blood didn't turn dark enough. I ordered the other one and the blood tested dark enough. So I'm wondering what brand you bought and if you tested it.

I'm intrigued, what is this test and how do you do it?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm intrigued, what is this test and how do you do it?

There's a link to the SN blood test thread in the Resource Compilation.

 

[whywere]

Peace be with you. WE are all here for one another and I pray you find whatever journey that is right for you enlighting.We are ALL ONE and we are keeping you in our thoughts. Close ones eyes to see the wonderment of being.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

I ordered from amazon yesterday. Fingers crossed it comes quickly and is the correct product. The company name starts with "D" and is 4 letters. The picture is a white bottle with a red cap. Is that what you ordered and tested?

Post the link or just a photo on my wall. I'll delete it after we're done talking about it.

Can I do this too? I just wanna make sure I'm using the product you ordered that made your blood turn dark enough.

 

[Meditation guide]

It was someone above you.

I can't believe someone said they don't believe you. I think it's best if someone is skeptical to keep it to themselves because as someone else said, it may deter others from posting.

I'm extremely grateful to anxietykillsme for sharing his experience here. He didn't have to do that. It's been a huge help to me and I'm sure to others. I'm so happy you are alive also! Thank you so much for taking the time and having the kindness to let us know what happened.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Glad u Alive.
hapy u alive, but don't believe your story one bit. Sorry bud.

There's always a moron like these in every post. I remember mine was full of them, why would someone fabricate something so sensitive? Users like you should get banned.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

@Anxietykillsme

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! At the same time, I'm sorry you suffered that terrible pain but I'm glad you're okay. A lot of people worried for you and we're all glad you're safe and sound. I know now how important an AE it, I expect to vomit at least once though and drinking the second dosage.

If I'm understanding this correctly, you mainly didn't die peacefully and you were in pain because there wasn't enough SN in your system? I just want to understand better why it was so painful for you and why you woke up.

edit: Are you going to be leaving the site on your path to recovery? xx

@GoodPersonEffed

Thank you, you know what for! :)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I believe I posted it further up. It's not support from the actual hospital, but they've referred me to an organisation which deals with pretty serious mental illnesses (they classed it as pretty serious as it was planned in advance)

It's crazy seeing your piss blue.

I'm just happy you are ok with no side effects. I'm also happy you can get support. I truly hope it works for you.
You don't have to leave S.S. if you don't want to when you are better.

I believe I posted it further up. It's not support from the actual hospital, but they've referred me to an organisation which deals with pretty serious mental illnesses (they classed it as pretty serious as it was planned in advance)

It's crazy seeing your piss blue.

Also ... the pissing Blue sounds kind of cool ... If you didn't have to go through all of this for it to happen.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Are you planning on doing it early September? I hope you've thought it through (i just joined so i don't really know any of you). However, what I like about this website is that nobody is judging anyone for their decisions. I'm sad to see people go but I understand that it's what they wanted for their own reasons.

Unfortunately it is scheduled for the end of September. I have to wait a long time.

Yes, I've thought it through, very carefully.

After what happened to @Anxietykillsme, I feel even more empowered to implement my plan. You will understand me when the time comes

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

yes please id like to see them, sorry it didnt work for you but early sick is a big no no, why didnt you just hold it down or immediately replace with second cup?

Sorry, but your request for the documents and your question is an absolute no go.

I hope you don't get an answer to that

 

[Smudgedlines]

Op... if you are trying to recover then I would gently suggest you stay away from this thread. There are less than helpful comments.