Venting tired of pro-lifers in disguise

[Meditation guide]

I

I mean are you saying you're happy when people take their lives? I'm pro-choice in all things really, like abortion, is it a happy thing? No. not all. But that person felt it was necessary, maybe the momma was living in poverty, or would have died with the child. I can empathize because I'm the same point when it comes to CTB, and I support their decision, but to wish things could have happened another way is human nature. I wish my life didn't end in suicide but it will. and I feel equal parts grief and peace about it.

If I look at it that way I don't want anyone else here to die either. But they are making that decision and I respect that, knowing I can't be the judge of someone else's suffering.
I thought the way you put it the first time meant you were pro life and wanted to prevent everyone from ctb.

 

[Nyxtus]

I'm not sure your experiences OP, but try not to dismiss too many people if they say some pro-life things. I for one will probably off myself one day, but I try and fight my hardest to at least make sure I've exhausted my options and this is really all that's left. I typically try to recommend, particularly young people, that they try to see a therapist or get on medication to perhaps see if there's any chance at improvement. If nothing changes, absolutely you have a right to die how you want. And that's coming from somebody who really has nothing going on in life and multiple illnesses going through a long term breakup.

I'm not accusing you of calling people like my pro-lifers, I'm just hoping to share another side of the coin that may get lost in translation here.

 

[Heart Shards]

If I look at it that way I don't want anyone else here to die either. But they are making that decision and I respect that, knowing I can't be the judge of someone else's suffering.
I thought the way you put it the first time meant you were pro life and wanted to prevent everyone from ctb.

Oh, hell no. I would be with Fix the 26 if that was so. Forgive me for my unbecoming behavior? I was just saying it make me sad, but I don't want to take anyone's choice away; I wouldn't want anyone to take it from me. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Still friends?

 

[Meditation guide]

I typically try to recommend, particularly young people, that they try to see a therapist or get on medication to perhaps see if there's any chance at improvement.

Even that is still suggesting you know best what they need to do. It's tempting to want to save people especially if they are young but even this well meaning effort is putting your own need ahead of their right of self determination. We need to totally back off from trying to dissuade because as much as we think we know what someone else should do, we are not them.

It is extremely painful and upsetting when someone wants to ctb especially if they are young. We want to help them and rescue them. We see the horror in a young life ending prematurely. It's natural to make suggestions to try to get them to fix whatever is the problem. But it's still their life. Their experience. Their suffering.

 

[Heart Shards]

Oh, hell no. I would be with Fix the 26 if that was so. Forgive me for my unbecoming behavior? I was just saying it make me sad, but I don't want to take anyone's choice away; I wouldn't want anyone to take it from me. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Still friends?

I'm actually an advocate for voluntary euthenasia.

Even that is still suggesting you know best what they need to do. It's tempting to want to save people especially if they are young but even this well meaning effort is putting your own need ahead of their right of self determination. We need to totally back off from trying to dissuade because as much as we think we know what someone else should do, we are not them.

Age does not negate suffering. I agree Meditation.

 

[Nyxtus]

Even that is still suggesting you know best what they need to do. It's tempting to want to save people especially if they are young but even this well meaning effort is putting your own need ahead of their right of self determination. We need to totally back off from trying to dissuade because as much as we think we know what someone else should do, we are not them.

It's not suggesting I know what's best, but it does come from personal experience and anecdote sure. I suffered a childhood of abuse, cptsd and depression and anxiety as a teen. I actually had a decent young to mid 20's before I relapsed and finally decided that I would kill myself one day. I'm not trying to tell them they can't do it, I'm not trying to persuade them all that hard. All I'm trying to do is give therapy and meds a chance, because then you can really say "I tried everything" and be more content or confident in your decision to go on your own terms.

I see where you're coming from, and I see where they're coming from. I just do my best to be open to everyone's viewpoints and offer my own.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I don't know. I have a unique view on the whole topic. I think one can still disagree with taking your own life, but still respect the person's decision to do it. TBH I don't want anyone here to take their life, but that's contradictory because I want to do the same. So I'd say I'm neutral live or die, I can't tell you what to do--true pro choice. I have friends that disagree with suicide but would still allow choice (They are just a rarity in society.)
My point being that some people can differentiate personal opinion and choice. Sadly most can't.

I'm pro choice- each individual has a choice to decide what when how or if... about every aspect of their lives/deaths. I have always said on this forum before I am anything in this world I am a mom- yes when younger people ctb it does hurt my heart. I wish people didn't know such pain that they have decided to take their own lives- especially those 25 & under. Certain things can change for them especially time, maturity, hormones not so insane- but it is not up to me to tell them well dont do it because blah blah blah.. Only they know the pain they are in and what they have already been forced to suffer through. The gift of youth- you could become ANYTHING you want to- yes, in the right circumstances as well. I agree with you Whisper Willow. While I wish for death it does make me sad when I see a forum member go. On the other hand I go dang I wish that was me. I wish I could just hug everyone, give love to those whose parents don't and be there to help them find happiness in life. A successful ctb - is the end. If there is anything that someone can do to make a change they should do it. Exhaust many avenues of life before that final act.

I was a suicidal teenager- really really messed up due to the life of hell I was born into. I was glad I did not succeed- I got 25 amazing years with my wonderful son. Had one of my attempts taken me out of this world I would have missed out on so much love and happiness- that I thought did not exist at least not ever for me. It's been mentioned in this thread pro lifers will say you can talk to me- you can message me- well I'm pro choice and you can pm me ANYTIME! You can talk to me almost anytime. I will NOT talk to someone who is in suicide process. My emotional sake- I cannot handle that. Sadguywannadie did message me goodbye before his goodbye post here. We spoke quite a bit for a couple of months, we share the loss of a child. We messaged a few before he posted his goodbye post that night. He was my first friend here to ctb. It was hard.

I will admit there were 2 former members I told don't do it.. why? because BOTH told me they dont WANT to die. 1 you're all familiar with he was up and down. The other- an amazing young lady who came to me asking for motherly advice. Her words were I do not want to die I want to live. We are pretty close now. So if you message me I don't want to die- yes I am going to help you with advice or just talking.

 

[AutoTap]

IMO most pro lifers hasn't suffered much, havnt though about ctb, and or had a close person ctb and are mad

 

[Heart Shards]

IMO most pro lifers hasn't suffered much, havnt though about ctb, and or had a close person ctb and are mad

Jackie has lost Shawn, and she's on fire to prevent suicide. I think Pro-lifers are complex people. I'm not a parent, I can't fathom what it's like to loose someone you carried for nine months and raised. I can understand her crusade on some level, doesn't mean I agree. Maybe she thinks she can prevent someone else's child from dying, in a way psychologically saving Shawn. You can't prevent people who truly desire death, you can only help those caught between life and death. I don't think Jackie is bad, I think she's hurting and still processing her daughter's death.

 

[Superdeterminist]

So many here are eager to ctb there is no need to encourage anyone. I haven't even seen anyone saying something like "should I ctb or shouldn't I?" People have their minds made up to do it already.

To be fair, personally I have seen a few threads asking if 'x' particular reason is a 'good' reason to justify ctb, so I think that some do have their doubts/hesitations. Personally I can say that sometimes I find my mind frantically wavering between craving death and craving life. Ultimately I do want to ctb, but sometimes I entertain the idea that my problems might be fixable, which then makes me feel like holding on for a little longer (that last bit of stubborn hope).

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Jackie has lost Shawn, and she's on fire to prevent suicide. I think Pro-lifers are complex people. I'm not a parent, I can't fathom what it's like to loose someone you carried for nine months and raised. I can understand her crusade on some level, doesn't mean I agree. Maybe she thinks she can prevent someone else's child from dying, in a way psychologically saving Shawn. You can't prevent people who truly desire death, you can only help those caught between life and death. I don't think Jackie is bad, I think she's hurting and still processing her daughter's death.

As a parent- I can honestly say I am not sure what I would think.. if my child committed suicide and I found this website. Would I be angry at people? Maybe, probably. It would rip my soul apart even more reading people wishing my child a peaceful journey while they were in the act. But... I would have to accept my child sought the website the website did not go out to find my child. Even if someone wants to stop someone from ctbing- you cant. It's isnt like forum members can call the police or their family. I would be more mad at the therapist my child had- how can a professional mental health provider NOT know how depressed my child was.

My heart goes out to the parents who have lost their children. It truly does. Instead of focusing so much money, time, anger at a website- do something else that can impact MANY others- like society why are so many younger people suicidal now? do something to help change mental health care. The issue is not that a website like this exists- its society is making people choose death, mental health care is a joke in a lot of cases IF someone is even able to get a therapist. As a teenager who was a cutter and suicidal I was the odd ball. I had friends in ohh probably 6 different towns and I was the ONLY one who tried to kill myself and cut. Now as per the survey here in July I think it was like 61% were under 30 here. WHY is it now so common? Thats what has to be addressed- WHY are so many young people feeling life has nothing to offer them. Society MUST change it's getting worse. Mental health care MUST change because it's not working. Thats where the anger, time, money should be spent. Making society aware that younger people who could have the world in their hands feel like death is all they have to look forward to.. Making changes to mental health care so that EVERYONE can get compassionate care.

 

[Nyxtus]

As a parent- I can honestly say I am not sure what I would think.. if my child committed suicide and I found this website. Would I be angry at people? Maybe, probably. It would rip my soul apart even more reading people wishing my child a peaceful journey while they were in the act. But... I would have to accept my child sought the website the website did not go out to find my child. Even if someone wants to stop someone from ctbing- you cant. It's isnt like forum members can call the police or their family. I would be more mad at the therapist my child had- how can a professional mental health provider NOT know how depressed my child was.

My heart goes out to the parents who have lost their children. It truly does. Instead of focusing so much money, time, anger at a website- do something else that can impact MANY others- like society why are so many younger people suicidal now? do something to help change mental health care. The issue is not that a website like this exists- its society is making people choose death, mental health care is a joke in a lot of cases IF someone is even able to get a therapist. As a teenager who was a cutter and suicidal I was the odd ball. I had friends in ohh probably 6 different towns and I was the ONLY one who tried to kill myself and cut. Now as per the survey here in July I think it was like 61% were under 30 here. WHY is it now so common? Thats what has to be addressed- WHY are so many young people feeling life has nothing to offer them. Society MUST change it's getting worse. Mental health care MUST change because it's not working. Thats where the anger, time, money should be spent. Making society aware that younger people who could have the world in their hands feel like death is all they have to look forward to.. Making changes to mental health care so that EVERYONE can get compassionate care.

Thank you. I've read a lot of posts and you seem like a very intelligent, caring and strong person. People who blame this website are so short sighted. It's not like normal healthy people came to this website and became suicidal, they came here BECAUSE they were suicidal due to society and their life circumstance. I know there's a lot of people here from so many different countries, but as an American I can speak out on how absolutely horrible our lack of mental healthcare is. People with mental illness such as ptsd, cptsd, depression, anxiety, etc are seen as broken, unworthy and lesser people. We also have an extremely toxic and hostile work culture that determines peoples worth by their value in the workplace. When people with issues that may inhibit them from performing to our societies toxic work culture, instead of being helped and given resources and help they're tossed aside and ridiculed. Men are told to just "man up and get over it" and they start to kill themselves at unprecedented rates when there's no support and they struggle with their own identities versus what our culture teaches us. (None of this is to take away from women's own unique struggles and points of view, this is simply my perspective of men's unique issues as a man. Not trying to take away from their own unique problems that they also face)

The biggest issue to me is I don't see change happening. I see a status quo being maintained and people actively voting and working AGAINST their own interests because they get caught up in the political circus of distractions and hate. I think a lot of people here, perhaps myself included, could live better lives if only we acknowledged all of this and struggled to make actual change.

Unfortunately a lot of people will continue to blame websites like this, or the individual or other distractions and not take a hard and deep look at the root cause that brings people to this site or makes them a statistic.