A
azeria
New Member
- Sep 24, 2024
- 1
My first post. I'm A. Sorry if I post it to the wrong category. I'm not exactly looking for a long time to stay anyway.
I'm tired, I have done multiple attempts. Each time I called a friend because I'm scared, they convinced me not to do it. Rinse and Repeat.
I wrote a feature article on my suicide experience, but I'm still scared to do it.
Obviously I can't ask dead people to tell me how to overcome death, but I still like to know how it feels like to not think.
I tried internalizing the constant pain I'm feeling because everytime I'm not distracted I IMMEDIATELY thought of that thing. I'll make it worse in hoping it'll increase my confidence to attempt.
Didn't work, make me turmoil further and procrastinate my attempt.
Sleeping pills are unavailable for FEMALES because I live in a shitty misogynistic society. I can ask for a male to get it but I barely know anyone. I was trying to kill myself during sleep.
I was also worried for my family facing harassment from the public because I decided to ctb. Suicide is illegal in my country here until 2023, if I do it in 20203 my family will be penalized and fined by the law Very stupid. But if I do it now, they'll be shamed by society forever because I live in a very traditional and conservative community. People do not treat mentally ill people kindly here, including their families. Backward fucking society.
Need advices on gaining confident to ctb. No I'm tired of living thanks but apparently not tired enough to not be scared which I hate it so much.
I'm tired, I have done multiple attempts. Each time I called a friend because I'm scared, they convinced me not to do it. Rinse and Repeat.
I wrote a feature article on my suicide experience, but I'm still scared to do it.
Obviously I can't ask dead people to tell me how to overcome death, but I still like to know how it feels like to not think.
I tried internalizing the constant pain I'm feeling because everytime I'm not distracted I IMMEDIATELY thought of that thing. I'll make it worse in hoping it'll increase my confidence to attempt.
Didn't work, make me turmoil further and procrastinate my attempt.
Sleeping pills are unavailable for FEMALES because I live in a shitty misogynistic society. I can ask for a male to get it but I barely know anyone. I was trying to kill myself during sleep.
I was also worried for my family facing harassment from the public because I decided to ctb. Suicide is illegal in my country here until 2023, if I do it in 20203 my family will be penalized and fined by the law Very stupid. But if I do it now, they'll be shamed by society forever because I live in a very traditional and conservative community. People do not treat mentally ill people kindly here, including their families. Backward fucking society.
Need advices on gaining confident to ctb. No I'm tired of living thanks but apparently not tired enough to not be scared which I hate it so much.