Discussion Thoughts on dying before experiencing love?

[Cosmic dust]

Think all of my early crushes on people have been weird ridiculous obsessions. Recently seen there is an actual term for it- limerance. Really wish I'd known it at the time because they felt so real and painful. Still, I probably wouldn't have admitted it to myself while I was in them.

Always been single and I'm 42 now. Sometimes wonder if I might have had the potential to be in a happy, loving relationship at one time- like you- when you experience those feelings/wishes through Art.

Still, kind of know that in reality it wouldn't work out. Get in such dark moods that I'm not sure another person could bring me out of. I'd either have to pretend I felt better or hide it in the first place- which I think I would end up resenting- or they would.

Plus, I'm not attractive, don't want to make the effort to be more attractive and I'm not domestic either! Hate housework.

Think I'm actually happier when I don't fancy people and tell myself that I'm partly single by choice. Still, I know what you mean about wondering about it- like life in general I guess- whether we all had the potential to be able to be in a better spot at one point.

I was just thinking of this right now and in the last few days, I have 29 and I have been jumping from one sick romantic obessession to another since I was 14 or something, I just feel sick on the head and I don't think anything good can ever come out of these feelings.

I didn't know the term limerance, thanks for posting this.

 

[SolomonKado]

So, I think there will be others that will relate to this but, I have had zero romantic or sexual experiences in my life.
I was raised thinking that someday I would find a good long term relationship, and due to circumstances that wasn't able to happen and at this point it obviously isn't feasible because well, I am in this headspace and need to die soon. I know for some people these things aren't really important so it wouldn't be that much of a concern but I can't help but wonder if maybe I have missed out on at least a few interesting experiences. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to share intimate moments with someone I trust or even just go on a date knowing that person is genuinely interested in me. What is it like to feel emotionally and physically close to someone? Would I have liked it as much as I might think I would? How long could I make a relationship last? What is it like to really live with someone? Is love and sex actually that great or are people just hyping it up? Does being in a relationship actually help with long term happiness given it is healthy?

I don't know man, I have very few regrets in life but this has to be one of the few. I kind of wish before I became a shut in that I at least tried a relationship once or twice just to have made my own opinions on it. But instead I will just have to make piece with the fact I only interact with these things through stories and art. Either way once I am dead I won't really be able to think about it. But sometimes it makes me think "maybe I can just live a little longer and see what it is all about???" but then I remember my life situation plus all the other garbage in this world and accept my fate.

Only from my own point of view. I would have been better off not knowing.

Being with someone your intimate with and watch them show another more interest then you while your standing right there and after you break it off they go and have sex with that person. Making it seem like they were already having sex. To come home from a long trip and find out another guy was sleeping in your bed. Living in the same house, but walk around on egg shells because how unhappy you both are. Giving it your all to make them happy and they only put in 10% to your happiness, but they give the other 90% to their friends. Sex causing me stress every time I do it. Having someone you just want to cuddle with and they have past traumas from a guy who beat them so they don't want to be touched. Either that or they are just not the "cuddle" type.

Not for myself, but I'm sure someone had sex because "it just felt good" without safety and had an "oopsie" baby. Now you're stuck with that person for 18 years wether you like them or not. Also having to put up with them being bat shit crazy and not able to do anything about it. Also, Having to figure out how not to screw up this kids life to where they want to CTB later. If you're the father and one of you leave then the mom gets the kid and you're stuck paying $3-500 in child support a month.

I wish my urge to have a family or even Sex wouldn't have been so overwhelmingly strong. All I wanted was something my grandparents had and now relationships and Sex terrify me….

 

[snowcloud9]

Honestly being in a romantic relationship is no longer fulfilling if you've reached the point where you're depressed and insecure. You will just spend every day of that relationship scared that they'll leave you to find someone better.