36 m, never had anything either. Not that I didn't try as I did but after forming a connection over the Internet things either never got to the face to face part, died after 1 date or I was messed around. Even tried the meeting in person & asking out route.
Autism, not the best face & being introverted just ain't a good combo when you're male. The latter no doubt being a byproduct of how you're treated throughout your life; you choose to avoid the bullshit & pain so just slide into avoidance of them 'orrible ppl.
I'd just say see a prostitute (no not sex worker; fuck this constant term changing).
What I do find fascinating is that if you mention (online ofc) you're a virgin over the age of 25 besides the snickers & insults you'll also get some "it's not a big deal, you'll find someone, give it some more time" etc...encouragement & understanding but if you're labeled as an incel suddenly you deserve nothing, it's good you've had fuck all & suddenly should die in a fire. So the experience or circumstances are the same but with the turn of a term everything hits different. I do find the accusations of being a rapist or danger to women funny while also being accused of never leaving the basement & too scared to approach women. Which is it lol.
I'm in a similar boat and I've struggled with coping every single day. Dateless, kissless virgin at 28 years old. What a joke I am! I've been told before that this status alone is a literal red flag which I agree with and it means no sane person should ever want to be with me and I have yet to be able to counter that point.
It's gotten so bad that I'm aware that my lack of experience is only digging me deeper and that even if someone was willing to give me a chance, to indulge in this thing that my stupid human biology was wired to crave would be cruel on my part because I'd be guaranteed to hurt them in some way. I don't know about you, but as much as I whine and moan about being perpetually lonely, I realize that this is the only way to prevent myself from subjecting some poor woman to the cruel fate of ever being with someone as deplorable as me.
I'll be real with you, most yes the majority of those that hurt their partners or inflict violence upon another they're "close with" are those that are successful at getting relationships or casual sex; not good at keeping a relationship going though. More rape occurs with the victim knowing the rapist than some random lurking the streets for a victim.
It's an abundance mindset, if you know you can get sexual partners easily & don't have to jump through hoops to get some you will value the commodity they give up (sex, intimacy) less than someone who struggles to attain these. The importance of this will seem trivial to you too as you're indulging in it frequently & see it as natural as going swimming.
Confidence is attractive yet you would be too if you're getting results. Desperation is bad but how is someone gonna act if nothing is working?
I legitimately believe there would be a lot more functioning, confident, not riddled with "dirty little secret" ppl that have had zero relationships or bangs if they'd had just two.
Something, anything would kick you passed a mental block attributed to unwritten rules about the tabooness of missing "milestones".
Worrying you'd hurt the other person is nothing, like I said many of the in high demand on the dating scene ppl are the biggest heartbreakers.
