• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3b
    oei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
I was driving this morning and just wanted to lay my foot on the accelerator straight into a tree. I imagined the instant death from the impact at 100+ MPH. Waking up every morning is becoming so unbearable for me, even though I want to keep on going. This world is so unfair to people with mental disorders. I suffer from BPD and general depressive disorder and making it through a day is so tiring on my mind.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: cymbaline23, toms_space_station, tunnelV and 16 others
I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,194
I understand. When I drive I always fantasize about driving off a bridge or something or off a cliff.
Life is hell
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: permanently tired, evannave and Praestat_Mori
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
2,836
I'm so sorry you are struggling so much. It's not easy fighting with suicidal thoughts and trying to lead a normal life. It's quite exhausting.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: evannave and Ash
crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
140
I feel you. I also struggle with BPD. While it got a little better in my case, it's still a pain in the ass and therapy can only help so much. I get intrusive thoughts about CTB all the time, it feels like a rush and a relief sometimes. It's like I can get high just on these thoughts alone because they give me comfort. I'm sorry you're dealing with BPD too, it sucks.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: thepiecessatup, Ash and evannave
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
I feel you. I also struggle with BPD. While it got a little better in my case, it's still a pain in the ass and therapy can only help so much. I get intrusive thoughts about CTB all the time, it feels like a rush and a relief sometimes. It's like I can get high just on these thoughts alone because they give me comfort. I'm sorry you're dealing with BPD too, it sucks.
BPD is a true pain in the ass. It's like having a physical disease that no one knows how to cure.
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: thepiecessatup, Gelos82, Toobrokentofix and 3 others
crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
140
BPD is a true pain in the ass. It's like having a physical disease that no one knows how to cure.
Exactly. It's exhausting at times, dealing with such intense emotions and sometimes not having a clue where they come from, what triggered these feelings, and not knowing how to manage your reactions. It's also tiring to censor yourself so as not to seem unhinged, that's what I choose to do because people say I'm exaggerating or are taken by surprise by my reactions sometimes. It's a serious reason why I want to CTB, in addition to being on the spectrum and despising life in general and people.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: xxpinkmoonglitterxx, hopeless08 and evannave
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
Exactly. It's exhausting at times, dealing with such intense emotions and sometimes not having a clue where they come from, what triggered these feelings, and not knowing how to manage your reactions. It's also tiring to censor yourself so as not to seem unhinged, that's what I choose to do because people say I'm exaggerating or are taken by surprise by my reactions sometimes. It's a serious reason why I want to CTB, in addition to being on the spectrum and despising life in general and people.
I don't understand how BPD is not a reason to be accepted to MAiD. I hope some countries look into mental illness as a reason to receive MAiD, like Canada since I have duel citizenship there but live in the US..
 
  • Like
Reactions: crystal_meth97
crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
140
I don't understand how BPD is not a reason to be accepted to MAiD. I hope some countries look into mental illness as a reason to receive MAiD, like Canada since I have duel citizenship there but live in the US..
I don't understand either and it's frustrating. I mean, it's frustrating that people who live where these programs are available cannot opt for assisted suicide if they have BPD, as I live in Europe in a country that's like a century behind everything that's the norm in most European countries. From what I know, programs like MaiD are mostly for terminally ill people. I guess it's easier to see and acknowledge suffering when it's physical, like metastatic cancer. Mental anguish is maybe more tricky to quantify? I guess that's the logic and they may also want to prevent these programs from being abused. But it would make total sense for them to accept BPD sufferers, as it can be hell, especially if there are co-occurring mental health problems.
 
  • Love
Reactions: evannave
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
I don't understand either and it's frustrating. I mean, it's frustrating that people who live where these programs are available cannot opt for assisted suicide if they have BPD, as I live in Europe in a country that's like a century behind everything that's the norm in most European countries. From what I know, programs like MaiD are mostly for terminally ill people. I guess it's easier to see and acknowledge suffering when it's physical, like metastatic cancer. Mental anguish is maybe more tricky to quantify? I guess that's the logic and they may also want to prevent these programs from being abused. But it would make total sense for them to accept BPD sufferers, as it can be hell, especially if there are co-occurring mental health problems.
I hate it. I just want to feel better.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Ash and crystal_meth97
H

hopeless08

Arcanist
Dec 8, 2023
482
I don't understand how BPD is not a reason to be accepted to MAiD. I hope some countries look into mental illness as a reason to receive MAiD, like Canada since I have duel citizenship there but live in the US..
Yeah it should be a reason to get accepted by MAID, when it comes to mental illnesses. I have borderline personality disorder and it hell, you constantly have to keep your emotions in check and it's not easy when you just randomly feel like exploding on someone for something most would see as so insignificant. BPD amplifies emotions and worse past is there are no medications for it, only cure is basically to be in therapy forever, which never worked for me.
I'm sorry to all of you guys going through it too, it's really hard to control your emotions. ❤️
 
  • Love
Reactions: evannave
thepiecessatup

thepiecessatup

Member
Jan 9, 2024
94
I was driving this morning and just wanted to lay my foot on the accelerator straight into a tree. I imagined the instant death from the impact at 100+ MPH. Waking up every morning is becoming so unbearable for me, even though I want to keep on going. This world is so unfair to people with mental disorders. I suffer from BPD and general depressive disorder and making it through a day is so tiring on my mind.
BPD is the worst. It's ripped everything good from me. I'm sorry you at going through it too.
I don't understand how BPD is not a reason to be accepted to MAiD. I hope some countries look into mental illness as a reason to receive MAiD, like Canada since I have duel citizenship there but live in the US..
It really should be allowed under MAiD. It's basically a life sentence of misery. There have been the odd good patches but not worth it overall.
 
  • Like
Reactions: evannave
ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
28
I hate it. I just want to feel better.
Have you tried DBT? It's hard work, plus doesn't, obviously, work for everyone. BPD is awful, I'm sorry you're going through it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
28
No, what's DBT?
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, it's a more intensive form of therapy. It's been the only thing that's helped me. It's one of the only evidence based therapies for BPD. I want to emphasize that it is not a cure all, I still obviously am suicidal but my life is so much more meaningful in the past few months than it's been in years.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36, snow-angel and thepiecessatup
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
I've never heard of it but I will definitely look into it! I'm glad it's helped you :)
 
  • Love
Reactions: ladylazarus4
user127679866

user127679866

Member
May 13, 2024
23
I was driving this morning and just wanted to lay my foot on the accelerator straight into a tree. I imagined the instant death from the impact at 100+ MPH. Waking up every morning is becoming so unbearable for me, even though I want to keep on going. This world is so unfair to people with mental disorders. I suffer from BPD and general depressive disorder and making it through a day is so tiring on my mind.
I have bpd too. This is one of many reasons im here. Its the most painful, lonely existence. I do not wish this pain on anyone and no one should have to suffer with this illness for life. I understand how you feel. Every day is suffering. ❤️
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: xxpinkmoonglitterxx and evannave
EepyRina

EepyRina

New Member
Dec 25, 2023
4
I was driving this morning and just wanted to lay my foot on the accelerator straight into a tree. I imagined the instant death from the impact at 100+ MPH. Waking up every morning is becoming so unbearable for me, even though I want to keep on going. This world is so unfair to people with mental disorders. I suffer from BPD and general depressive disorder and making it through a day is so tiring on my mind.
ya, the only thing that keeps me driving is that i don't want to kill other people. i'm always late to school (i'm 19 but dropped out cuz mental illness then rejoined so im gr 12), or i miss like over 50% of my classes. driving is so draining and to get up everyday to have to sit in a car where i can easily kill myself is an insane roller-coaster.
 
I

itwasallascream

Member
May 19, 2024
8
Exactly. It's exhausting at times, dealing with such intense emotions and sometimes not having a clue where they come from, what triggered these feelings, and not knowing how to manage your reactions. It's also tiring to censor yourself so as not to seem unhinged, that's what I choose to do because people say I'm exaggerating or are taken by surprise by my reactions sometimes. It's a serious reason why I want to CTB, in addition to being on the spectrum and despising life in general and people.
This is exactly me.
It's all so exhausting
And everyone expects us to be normal and happy go lucky like them

My wife left me because she said she doesn't feel safe because of my anger. I tried to explain that it's BPD but she wasn't interested
I am so exhausted by this all. I tried to write a list of reasons to stay alive and instead I ended ip writing a list of 47 reasons to leave.
 
  • Like
Reactions: evannave

Similar threads

dkrw
Replies
4
Views
199
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
notevenhere
Replies
0
Views
112
Suicide Discussion
notevenhere
notevenhere
fleshgarden
Replies
3
Views
68
Offtopic
Ash
Ash
White Pencil Color
Replies
23
Views
411
Suicide Discussion
White Pencil Color
White Pencil Color
M
Replies
4
Views
269
Suicide Discussion
bin
bin