Think it's about time

[PlasticFace]

I took some time to think over my options and I've come to the conclusion that the sooner I CTB, the better. I need to find a quick and sure-fire method to make sure I do it right this time. I could always just get something sharp or hang myself. I'm not worried about the pain, just the quicker methods.

I've officially been reported missing and my face and full name are out on the internet for the whole world to see. I can't go out to buy supplies because that's too risky. I'll have to work with what I've got. This is pretty sudden but I can't wait to get away from it all.

At this point, I'm feeling so lost and disassociated that I might just bang my head against the wall! I can't keep myself from feeling excited about it. I haven't slept in a while. Haven't eaten in a few days at least. I'm slowly becoming more and more invisible, and soon, I'll completely vanish.

Normally, I'd be afraid to see myself online, but now, I can't help but laugh. Nobody would ever go looking for someone like me. I've always felt like nothing, so feeling worthless is normal.

Ignore this part if you haven't read any threads from me before. The cop's name is Daniel. Before I CTB, I'll say the rest but for now, this is the safest.

 

[Doombox]

You've been through way too much and it's heartbreaking. I'm sending you positive thoughts and wishing that could make a difference.

 

[Readytogo246]

Sounds like you are doing well with keeping your cool. Blessings for clarity.

 

[meowmeowkitty]

I wish you the best of luck, find your eternal peace and farewell. You deserved better.

 

[Aisley]

I really hope this works out for you. Are you reporting him? No pressure to that question, either. Just a question. Good luck.

 

[PlasticFace]

I really hope this works out for you. Are you reporting him? No pressure to that question, either. Just a question. Good luck.

Honestly, my dream was to make him pay for what he did but now, I don't care anymore. There's not anything I could possibly do. I just want to at least give his name before I'm gone. I want people to know the name of this monster. Who knows, maybe I'll share more details about other people who wronged me. Never realized how much power you get when you're on the brink of death.

 

[Aisley]

K. That's really too bad you ran out of time. Fucking people, gotta interfere with shit. I know you wanted this guy to be held accountable, and I get it. I also get the brick wall of safety these fuckers' lives seem to be wrapped in. So unfair.

 

[thechamp]

If you kill yourself, whoever fucked with you will have won. I hope you reconsider. If you have the courage to keep going after all the fucked up shit you've gone through since you were a kid, then that's fucking inspiring. God Bless.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I took some time to think over my options and I've come to the conclusion that the sooner I CTB, the better. I need to find a quick and sure-fire method to make sure I do it right this time. I could always just get something sharp or hang myself. I'm not worried about the pain, just the quicker methods.

I've officially been reported missing and my face and full name are out on the internet for the whole world to see. I can't go out to buy supplies because that's too risky. I'll have to work with what I've got. This is pretty sudden but I can't wait to get away from it all.

At this point, I'm feeling so lost and disassociated that I might just bang my head against the wall! I can't keep myself from feeling excited about it. I haven't slept in a while. Haven't eaten in a few days at least. I'm slowly becoming more and more invisible, and soon, I'll completely vanish.

Normally, I'd be afraid to see myself online, but now, I can't help but laugh. Nobody would ever go looking for someone like me. I've always felt like nothing, so feeling worthless is normal.

Ignore this part if you haven't read any threads from me before. The cop's name is Daniel. Before I CTB, I'll say the rest but for now, this is the safest.

Fuck that cop. Why should you have to CTB because of this cunt ?
The cop should be the one to die !

I fucking hate it when good people have their lives made a misery by scumbags.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I would let as many people as possible know the names of everyone involved and expose them.

 

[syyaaahhhh]

If you feel free by doing it, it is up to you. Sometimes we have no more energy to fight in this body, with this life. Do what makes you calm and free. Safe crossing my friend.

 

[90starve]

wishing you peace <3

 

[PlasticFace]

Update: Just smoked a ton of weed to calm my nerves. Nothing left to do but toy around with ideas now, I suppose. And honestly, I'm proud of myself! This is the first thing I've ever done completely and truly for me. This is what I need. If all goes right, I won't have to have constant worries. flashbacks, chronic pain, etc., etc.. These past couple of hours have been almost euphoric... I have no worries, my mind has gone completely quiet. I'm not aching, I'm not scared, I'm not crying, I'm not feeling anything. This is what I needed. :)

Spoiler: METHODS

Some of the ideas I've had have been hanging, cutting, drowning, and even jumping if all else fails. I think my tremors might get in the way of hanging, unfortunately. Cutting is definitely an option, something I've tried before. The hotel I'm at is very tall but I'd rather not jump, not somewhere so public. I have alcohol so I might even just pop some pills with them and draw a nice bath. Not sure yet, but I'll figure it out :)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that you have to go through such awful things right now. Being proud of one self is very important! I wish you all the best!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from this hellish world, best of luck.

 

[PlasticFace]

If you kill yourself, whoever fucked with you will have won. I hope you reconsider. If you have the courage to keep going after all the fucked up shit you've gone through since you were a kid, then that's fucking inspiring. God Bless.

Who even are you? You do realize the forum you're on, right? Nobody "wins" but me. I will bring myself to peace. Doesn't matter what he thinks! Not like I'll care, I'll be dead!