Venting There's no point in living as an unattractive woman

[StolenLife]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I don't know where you got the belief that men in general only care about looks. It really depends more on what kind of partner each person is looking for. It's a different thing to just lack sex.

 

[NumbItAll]

Looks and physical attraction cause so much pain in various ways, I wish they weren't a thing at all. Needs to be patched in the next human biology update.

 

[Artictart]

I relate heavily with this, I really wish things were more based on attraction to personality and charisma rather than looks. I don't have experience with how this could effect me career wise, but it makes me terrified of relationships. I envy pretty people so much.

I don't know where you got the belief that men in general only care about looks. It really depends more on what kind of partner each person is looking for. It's a different thing to just lack sex.

It feels almost impossible to find someone like that though, for men and women.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I don't know where you got the belief that men in general only care about looks.

it's a very common thing. i don't have any stats on hand, but to me it seems that the vast majority of men strongly prioritise looks in women. i'm guilty of it too. i made it obvious with how i have a pretty woman as my pfp. i think it's a horrible thing because it means disparities in the love and attention that different people receive.

but yes, there are surely men out there who don't care about looks. so then it's a question of: how rare are those men? that's something I have long been curious about.

 

[Mirrory Me]

It's a different matter what kind of reaction we get when we meet for the first time, but if someone makes our feelings ignite, then we can see something especially beautiful in them.

 

[BlankZeroNone]

It's a shame that people have to grapple with these issues at all, but it's probably not a good idea to think about them in absolutes. It's very unlikely that there isn't someone who'll appreciate you for what you are, but it's also important to be realistic about it.

I mostly agree, though. It sucks.

 

[GasMonkey]

I'm in the same boat but as a man.

And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women.

Nah, most men at that age become shit, mainly because they go bald, and once you go bald you become disgusting to young women. Some scientists think that this happens evolutionary on purpose to make men unable to chase fresh young pussy so they focus their attention on raising their already existing children.​

 

[Mirrory Me]

Beauty is not a condition for someone to care about something.

 

[Twntysvn]

I'm so sorry for your suffering. I'm also ugly woman and no one ever like me, but hey, since i really want ctb i'm not really care abt anything anymore (like my hideous looks or whatever).
Idk if this makes you feel better or not but actually i hope this so called "biological clock" is ticking as fast as possible because i hate periods, the only things in life i looking for, if not death, is menopause, and i cannot help but think it is kinda cool to be old witchy cursed type of grandma that can bitchn and complain about everything and no one cares because i guess everyone did not bat an eye at elderly ppl also sorry if this sounds ignorant or dumb

 

[no.hope]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

well your only option of course is to find an equally unattractive guy. i guess its tough being ugly but what other choice do ugly people have other than to accept themselves because no else is going to , might as well find another ugly dude to share the suffering

tbh looks do matter wayy more than character. you could make it corperate / career , if your going to be insecure about your looks might as well do it in a nice house :d

 

[jennifer_1958]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

Tell me about it! As a big, fat, ugly MtF, I don't fit in anywhere and often feel like "catching the buss". At my last hospitalization (yesterday, health issues) they even made me ware a bracelet with "M" on it! I'll never be accepted no matter that I do!

 

[Linda]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

I'm 70. I wouldn't describe myself as "ugly", but my days of being even remotely good looking in the sense I think you mean are far behind me. Yet my life now is no worse than it was when I was young. Indeed, in many ways, and except for some health problems, it is probably better. There is no strong link between looks and happiness. You may also have too narrow a view of what men are looking for. Yes, most young men have sex and little else on their mind just about all the time, and they tend to assume that sex with a good-looking woman is better than sex with one who is not so good looking. They eventually discover that it isn't as simple as that. For one thing, they will realise that they need a lot more than sex from a partner, and for another they soon discover that there isn't a particularly strong link between good looks and good sex. Good sex has more to do with understanding your partner and your partner's body. If I were in your position I would just get out there. wherever men are, and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised. Good luck.

 

[Zegers]

Not being wanted must be some kind of doom, it ruins your social life.

 

[Doc]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

Or man for that matter

Not being wanted must be some kind of doom, it ruins your social life.

I've gone through it my whole life 1 reason I wanna ctb

 

[Rocinante]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall.

Is it a genetic disorder that makes you appear older?
There's things like Retin-a/tretinoin, dermarolling, and peptides for improving collagen and helps me retain clear tight skin. limiting sun exposure, or when you do head outdoors apply sunscreen(necessary after tretinoin application). Also, daily exercise, consuming 2500ml~ of water a day, and sleeping on my back.
I am doing whatever I can to remain young and retain my appearance.
Things like facelifts exist too. Elizabeth Bathory bathed in children's blood in attempts to retain youth, but I'm not willing to go that far.
I don't know what you're going through that causes you to look older nor do I know if any of this will help, sorry.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm in the same boat but as a man.

Nah, most men at that age become shit, mainly because they go bald, and once you go bald you become disgusting to young women. Some scientists think that this happens evolutionary on purpose to make men unable to chase fresh young pussy so they focus their attention on raising their already existing children.​

Mark Strong is bald and gorgeous. Plus, from a young age- I always found men in their 40's the most attractive- I've always gone for men rather than boys. There are likely always exceptions to the rule.

That all said- it's all irrelevant because I'm also an ugly woman. Oh well- I've pretty much accepted it now. I do sympathise though OP.

 

[Source Energy]

There's no point in living as an attractive one, either. It might give you lots of attention, and boost your self esteem, but it doesn't prevent the misfortune of unrequited love/ being left/ all that pain when you lose a beloved, the yearning, your beauty counts for nothing when this happens.
I saw plenty of average or below average women happily married or coupled while pretty ones struggle to find someone or are in a miserable relationship, treated like shit, or rejected by the one they want.
If you got a good personality, roll with that...physical beauty can get you only so much :(

 

[unnormal9]

You think attractive bitches make the world go round?
You'll lose the shit regardless with old age.

 

[no.hope]

Is it a genetic disorder that makes you appear older?
There's things like Retin-a/tretinoin, dermarolling, and peptides for improving collagen and helps me retain clear tight skin. limiting sun exposure, or when you do head outdoors apply sunscreen(necessary after tretinoin application). Also, daily exercise, consuming 2500ml~ of water a day, and sleeping on my back.
I am doing whatever I can to remain young and retain my appearance.
Things like facelifts exist too. Elizabeth Bathory bathed in children's blood in attempts to retain youth, but I'm not willing to go that far.
I don't know what you're going through that causes you to look older nor do I know if any of this will help, sorry.

Elizabeth Bathory sounds worse than ted bundy

 

[Luchs]

On top of everything else, I'm an unattractive woman that looks much older than she is and already hit a wall. If I was attractive I wouldn't have to chase a career to feel like I could contribute to something in a relationship. Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women. Most men don't care how smart a woman is or what carreer she has as long as she's attractive and young. I'm still somewhat young(23) but because of my looks I can never get anyone to have a crush on me. It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

I'm a guy and kinda have the opposite issue, but can relate. I look far younger than I am. Women my age only see me as a younger brother or friend kind of guy. One even told me that she couldn't think of me in a relationship because I just looked so young. No one even considers me and that kinda hurts.

 

[DominionMinion]

I often think the ways people divide society are unhelpful, especially the female bloc vs the male bloc and the idea of male privileged. In my opinion the hierarchy is:

Pretty girls
...
...
Handsome guys
Ugly guys
...
...
...
...
...
Ugly girls

 

[Georg]

Men care less about looks bc they can theoretically breed with thousands of women. Women are carrying out the baby so of course they have to be more picky. This is basic knowledge about human/ mammals biology.

Femcels exist but they are very rare.

 

[unnormal9]

Need more pride

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Living as an ugly man is a nightmare as well, but at least a man can compensate somewhat by having a career and being rich. And men don't have a biological clock, they in fact are the best in their 30s and 40s unlike women.

If said men don't have the ability, smarts or talent to get said career and being rich, then what?

You also have to take into account, it is easy for you to feel down about yourself if you compare yourself to models with plastic surgery. Even the conventionally average looking women are attractive (imo). You may not be a blonde model like woman, but that does not make you unattractive. Any woman can be good looking if they do not let themselves go and have a clear face.

The standards for what men look for as far as looks go, aren't nearly as high as you think.

You think attractive bitches make the world go round?
You'll lose the shit regardless with old age.

It's better to have had it than never to.

Also, everything is lost with age, including cognitive function.

There's no point in living as an attractive one, either. It might give you lots of attention, and boost your self esteem, but it doesn't prevent the misfortune of unrequited love/ being left/ all that pain when you lose a beloved, the yearning, your beauty counts for nothing when this happens.
I saw plenty of average or below average women happily married or coupled while pretty ones struggle to find someone or are in a miserable relationship, treated like shit, or rejected by the one they want.
If you got a good personality, roll with that...physical beauty can get you only so much :(

That's cope. A good personality alone can only do so much. If there's no physical attraction, or sexual chemistry, then you won't have much going for you. The whole package matters.

But also for some people, yearning for good looks isn't solely for a relationship. It's mostly about self esteem.

 

[Pluto]

It sucks that I will never be anyone's priority or anyone's dream girl. I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual yet it still hurts because I'm romantic as fuck at heart.

This is a very painful situation and I know that many of us can relate, myself included.

The one point that I haven't seen raised so far is that people can perceive their own level of attractiveness through a grossly distorted lens. Occasionally people in this situation have posted their pictures here (not recommended) and the feedback they get is that nobody can see anything wrong with them. We need to subject our own thoughts to scrutiny as they can be ridiculously inaccurate.

Also, a lot can be done to maximise health and beauty. Even a basic physical fitness routine like a decent jog once a day, let alone regular intensive exercise, makes a huge difference to how we look and feel. The challenge is getting started, as we easily talk ourselves out of it, claiming to be too lacking in energy. I found this not to be true and have forced myself to maintain a heavy routine despite still having days where I can't get out of bed, but wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life.

Another point to make is that dating apps tend to see women bombarded with attention if they have even a modicum of attractiveness. I'd be surprised if you do not get any response. I can only speak for myself, but I despise the culture of narcissism and love to see women in this day and age who are still open to genuine romance and real love. I hope you can have a breakthrough.