caotic_realm
Member
- Jun 25, 2026
- 61
For some reason—regardless of whether or not it constitutes a reason for wanting to die—the fact is that for a long time now, I haven't liked people, or at least not a certain type of person.
There was a post by a guy hinting at a certain hatred toward women, and at one point I read one by a woman who said she hated men because she had been raped. In both cases, there may be a justification for that hatred, because, in a way, there is fear—a defensive attitude toward the very thing that caused us trauma or inflicted pain on us at some point in our lives.
In general, I don't think my fear of people is merely misanthropy—a contempt for human beings simply because they are human. Rather, it stems from bad experiences; I've witnessed all sorts of situations involving people with malicious intent who harm others—people who deceive, inflict pain, and act as if they are superior to everyone else.
There was a recent incident in my country where a man beat a woman—I don't know the reason—but his attitude was arrogant and domineering, much like that of many others who behave the same way all over the world. That kind of thing makes me furious; I find myself thinking that if I had the chance to take revenge on a guy like that—to hurt him—I would. It wouldn't be so much about seeking justice, but rather the realization that such people are capable of harming anyone—a child, a woman, another man, an elderly person, or even an animal. That is essentially what lies at the heart of my feeling that "people scare me."
In short, while I do suffer from social anxiety, my reasons go beyond a simple fear of socializing or being mocked—something I experienced during my school years. What truly frightens me is encountering malicious people and having to deal with situations where others seek to harm or humiliate me; I fear both their reactions and my own. I must admit I am like those animals—such as bears or big cats—that look intimidating but get scared when they encounter a human outside their natural habitat; their instinct might be to either flee or attack out of fear. In my case, I would also be afraid of hurting someone and making matters worse by getting into legal trouble—even if the other person had been the aggressor—because human laws (at least in my country) are deeply unfair; they disregard the context and focus solely on the action itself, regardless of whether it was an act of self-defense.
There was a post by a guy hinting at a certain hatred toward women, and at one point I read one by a woman who said she hated men because she had been raped. In both cases, there may be a justification for that hatred, because, in a way, there is fear—a defensive attitude toward the very thing that caused us trauma or inflicted pain on us at some point in our lives.
In general, I don't think my fear of people is merely misanthropy—a contempt for human beings simply because they are human. Rather, it stems from bad experiences; I've witnessed all sorts of situations involving people with malicious intent who harm others—people who deceive, inflict pain, and act as if they are superior to everyone else.
There was a recent incident in my country where a man beat a woman—I don't know the reason—but his attitude was arrogant and domineering, much like that of many others who behave the same way all over the world. That kind of thing makes me furious; I find myself thinking that if I had the chance to take revenge on a guy like that—to hurt him—I would. It wouldn't be so much about seeking justice, but rather the realization that such people are capable of harming anyone—a child, a woman, another man, an elderly person, or even an animal. That is essentially what lies at the heart of my feeling that "people scare me."
In short, while I do suffer from social anxiety, my reasons go beyond a simple fear of socializing or being mocked—something I experienced during my school years. What truly frightens me is encountering malicious people and having to deal with situations where others seek to harm or humiliate me; I fear both their reactions and my own. I must admit I am like those animals—such as bears or big cats—that look intimidating but get scared when they encounter a human outside their natural habitat; their instinct might be to either flee or attack out of fear. In my case, I would also be afraid of hurting someone and making matters worse by getting into legal trouble—even if the other person had been the aggressor—because human laws (at least in my country) are deeply unfair; they disregard the context and focus solely on the action itself, regardless of whether it was an act of self-defense.
i used that opportunity to make him cry 
it was so much fun. He never dared to mess with me again.
