There is no ‘recovery’ from being aware of the reality of this existence

[FuneralCry]

I've always seen it as being problematic how thoughts of suicide are seen as something to 'recover' from. This implies that being suicidal is an illness and is thinking irrationally and It's hard to believe that even a pro choice website pushes this belief. The truth is that wanting to die is the rational response to seeing life and the world for what it really is. The reality is that the existence of life is absolutely horrifying and all of the endless suffering that exists is undeniable. Life never needed to exist in the first place and yet it does. Creating life inevitably creates problems which leads to some form of struggle to be experienced all for the sake of it and wishing to be free from the endless cycle of suffering and prison that is consciousness is not an illness.

Wishing to leave makes sense to me, I mean what is the benefit to feeling pain, fulfilling endless needs, having worries and concerns, experiencing all sorts of negative emotions. It's almost as though the concept of life is created in a way in which to torture people, as existing in this world can cause harm to living beings in an unlimited amount of ways, causing them to suffer immensely with no relief. But as we all know life has no purpose. Pain and suffering are just an inevitable consequence of being alive and everything in this world is determined by random factors. Life is just an incredibly useless and meaningless concept, serving no purpose.

If people wish to exist and endure life in a world where all this cruelty exists then that is their choice but to want to stay here means to be in denial, and to see value in suffering (which is all that life is) means to be delusional. It's irrational to want to stay here just to get very old and endure endless pain and problems. Life itself will always be the problem rather than the thoughts of suicide and that is the truth. To me there could never be anything to 'recover' from. I want to avoid unnecessary suffering and return to peaceful nonexistence where I belong. To cease to experience anything is the ideal state, wanting permanent rest could never be an illness no matter what. Those who are against suicide in a world like this really are insane, suicide should be respected as a rational personal choice to end a life that we never asked to participate in.

 

[Un-]

I think it's impossible to recover from being suicidal. But most people that choose existing over dying have their reasons, but it's certainly not.. Along the lines of delusion. It's.. Probably more logical in their case.

Everyone is doing the best they can..

Although... I can't imagine existing without wanting to end myself. I don't know. I guess it's similar to how people whom haven't thought about suicide can't fathom it. Opposite sides of one fence.

 

[Neowise]

I wish I never understood what life is all about. Never looked behind the curtains. My life in ignorance would have been so much easier.

 

[jodes2]

Amen. I don't want to get old and suffer. I doubt I'd get a nice death even then anyway. Why go through the suffering? Unfortunately life is a trap. I have coupled with my gf to make life less miserable but I'm still not happy. Life is just chores and work dominating our lives.

Suicidal ideation comes and goes for me, but I'd never be upset if I just died. It's a bug I've got now. It never shifts. I just can't force my gf to grieve for me for a long, long time. But my discomfort is real and unending.

 

[dtjb]

Agreed. For me, the quote that Leo says in Inception about ideas has always stuck with me because that's exactly what happened once I realized the reality of life. He says:

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient...highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain, it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed – fully understood – that sticks; right in there somewhere."

I think in that scene he was talking about his wife ctb b/c she thought their reality was a layer of a dream and she wanted to wake up. Different idea for me but same feeling.

 

[chocolatebar]

I've always seen it as being problematic how thoughts of suicide are seen as something to 'recover' from. This implies that being suicidal is an illness and is thinking irrationally and It's hard to believe that even a pro choice website pushes this belief. The truth is that wanting to die is the rational response to seeing life and the world for what it really is. The reality is that the existence of life is absolutely horrifying and all of the endless suffering that exists is undeniable. Life never needed to exist in the first place and yet it does. Creating life inevitably creates problems which leads to some form of struggle to be experienced all for the sake of it and wishing to be free from the endless cycle of suffering and prison that is consciousness is not an illness.

Wishing to leave makes sense to me, I mean what is the benefit to feeling pain, fulfilling endless needs, having worries and concerns, experiencing all sorts of negative emotions. It's almost as though the concept of life is created in a way in which to torture people, as existing in this world can cause harm to living beings in an unlimited amount of ways, causing them to suffer immensely with no relief. But as we all know life has no purpose. Pain and suffering are just an inevitable consequence of being alive and everything in this world is determined by random factors. Life is just an incredibly useless and meaningless concept, serving no purpose.

If people wish to exist and endure life in a world where all this cruelty exists then that is their choice but to want to stay here means to be in denial, and to see value in suffering (which is all that life is) means to be delusional. It's irrational to want to stay here just to get very old and endure endless pain and problems. Life itself will always be the problem rather than the thoughts of suicide and that is the truth. To me there could never be anything to 'recover' from. I want to avoid unnecessary suffering and return to peaceful nonexistence where I belong. To cease to experience anything is the ideal state, wanting permanent rest could never be an illness no matter what. Those who are against suicide in a world like this really are insane, suicide should be respected as a rational personal choice to end a life that we never asked to participate in.

I totally agree

Deep down, I think people understand this, but it's as if they have some sort of distraction mechanisms. I'm not in a good moment to put my thoughts in words, but it's like when they feel pleasure and suddenly, nothing matters anymore. There can be people dying here and there, something bad expecting them tomorrow or whatever. They don't care, pleasure is a really selfish feeling.

Remember when everyone was forced to stay inside and suddenly people started mentally collapsing. It's almost like they became out of distractions and had, for a brief time, stopped to think about their realities.

 

[Barteljaap]

Unfortunately suicide is so difficult and potentially painful.

I wish my mom would have just aborted me instead of giving birth.

 

[CTB Dream]

Yea life actual disease actual illness true recovery ctb. This real say believe me see injury damage lie all illusion chemic one old one other situation see yhis., not deal problem pretend ctb problem not solve, life big problem life lie disease all horriblr possible Nothing save then hypoc human leave alone bad thing happens, not trust any human this species lie force live . Truth life big problm everyone big danger see billion human animal make sad this all danger world cruelty real recover Stat away terribleife

 

[narcluciddreams]

Once you understand what life truly is about and how they brainwash our brothers and sisters into learning things they don't like, working at a job they hate, marrying person just because of their status, getting addicted to social media... This matrix is absurd.

 

[damaged_soul]

Wow your words are breathtakingly beautiful and powerful. I've saved them in my suicide research notes. Maybe once I ctb others will read them and understand.

I think it's completely ridiculous how death and suicide are seen as bad things. Death literally cannot be a bad thing by its very nature -- death involves no suffering whatsoever. Being afraid of death, something that cannot possibly be bad for you, should be considered a mental illness rather than the other way around. Similarly, suicide isn't inherently bad; the only thing that's bad about suicide is the fact that the person went through so much suffering to get to that point. If people want to stop suicide, they should work on the problems that make people suicidal in the first place. They should work on making the world such a good place that no one would even want to leave in the first place. Instead, they try to use the brute force approach of forcibly preventing us from exercising our bodily autonomy, because that way they don't have to do the dirty work of actually fixing underlying societal problems. To me, "recovering" from suicidal thoughts is just closing your years and saying "lalalala" to forget about the horrific atrocities of the world and to delude yourself into thinking the world is an acceptable place to live. Prolifers think that being suicidal is "unhealthy" but I think it's far more unhealthy to delude yourself to avoid the harsh truth. This is part of why I refuse to get on antidepressants. I see them as mind control. I'm not going to take mind altering drugs to force myself to become a submissive slave to this stupid system. I'm not going to delude myself just because the harsh reality is uncomfortable. I'm going to live my truth instead by killing myself, no matter how long it takes for me to finally get the courage to do it.