I try to spread some positive vibes once again. I met my dad and he annoyed with his behavior and kind of ruined the day. However there are still things I appreciate and some of it were surprises.
One of the positive surprises was chatGPT. I am kind of fascinated by it. The best is I don't have to pay with money in order to use it. The technological progress is very interesting for me. Personally technologies like the internet enriched my life in so many ways. It would be cool if technology could solve some of my core issues. It is unlikely but there is hope it increases my life quality.
Moreover playing with my new playstation is thrilling. Some new features improve the experience so much. It is cool how they find new features that increase the fun one has while playing.
I always have a goal in mind that I work on. My current one is getting good grades and avoiding another relapse. I currently have vacation and I try to reward me for always being so disciplined. It is relieving to breath air without all that insane pressure. The big difference of life quality shows me how harsh I am usually on myself. However the time during the vaction feels really good. I currently read a biography of David Foster Wallace and it is so interesting. There are so many interesting philosphical topics and many literature that stimulates my mind. It feels good to expand one's knowledge. The world is so complex and one can learn a lot. Especially I am interested in biases and thinking fallcies. How a human actually thinks and which boundaries exist that we sometimes overlook.
The notion that so much new information is produced by science daily is astounding. So many people work to expand our knowledge and I am like one ant in this universe. I am so tiny compared to the size of this world. Still I am inside my consciousness and everythings feels so close and it is really difficult to put me into perspective or to keep a distance. There is the term solipsism that describes it quite good. My whole brain is a filter and everything I perceive is influenced by the chemistry in my brain and all the other processes. It is mind boggling to think about all the processes in our body and our societies so that we can exist in this moment. I struggle a lot. I probably also would have wanted not to come into existence if someone asked me. The danger to suffer extremely which I did and sometimes do is real. However there is still something interesting in this world. Our existence and the universe is so fucking unlikely and still it exists. I try to make the best out of it. Like Lil Peep called it Let's look at the brightside.
Compared to my usual life quality there is a huge discrepancy. I would like to conserve such moments. Maybe writing them down is something positive. When I struggle again I try to remind myself that I am not always this terribly depressed. I think listening to some melancholic and janusfaced songs can capture such moments because it is an association/memory one has of such moments. Sometimes art can express my feelings way better than I ever could. I like to think about deep questions and it is really stimulating to read literature that comforts me in existential questions. Or listening to music thar describes the pain of life so accurate that it feels calming because your know you are not alone with it.
Finding new art that one enjoys can enrich one's life. Meeting new people, exchanging thoughts, staying open-minded, following events (for me politics and the news) or cultural/societal debates and developments. There is so much one can learn in life and new impressions that one gets every single day.
I hope this might comfort or distract some people here. A lot of people struggle but I think reading some positive takes might lead a way out of negative thought loops and the spiral downwards. Or at least some seconds of distraction of your personal hell.
One of the positive surprises was chatGPT. I am kind of fascinated by it. The best is I don't have to pay with money in order to use it. The technological progress is very interesting for me. Personally technologies like the internet enriched my life in so many ways. It would be cool if technology could solve some of my core issues. It is unlikely but there is hope it increases my life quality.
Moreover playing with my new playstation is thrilling. Some new features improve the experience so much. It is cool how they find new features that increase the fun one has while playing.
I always have a goal in mind that I work on. My current one is getting good grades and avoiding another relapse. I currently have vacation and I try to reward me for always being so disciplined. It is relieving to breath air without all that insane pressure. The big difference of life quality shows me how harsh I am usually on myself. However the time during the vaction feels really good. I currently read a biography of David Foster Wallace and it is so interesting. There are so many interesting philosphical topics and many literature that stimulates my mind. It feels good to expand one's knowledge. The world is so complex and one can learn a lot. Especially I am interested in biases and thinking fallcies. How a human actually thinks and which boundaries exist that we sometimes overlook.
The notion that so much new information is produced by science daily is astounding. So many people work to expand our knowledge and I am like one ant in this universe. I am so tiny compared to the size of this world. Still I am inside my consciousness and everythings feels so close and it is really difficult to put me into perspective or to keep a distance. There is the term solipsism that describes it quite good. My whole brain is a filter and everything I perceive is influenced by the chemistry in my brain and all the other processes. It is mind boggling to think about all the processes in our body and our societies so that we can exist in this moment. I struggle a lot. I probably also would have wanted not to come into existence if someone asked me. The danger to suffer extremely which I did and sometimes do is real. However there is still something interesting in this world. Our existence and the universe is so fucking unlikely and still it exists. I try to make the best out of it. Like Lil Peep called it Let's look at the brightside.
Compared to my usual life quality there is a huge discrepancy. I would like to conserve such moments. Maybe writing them down is something positive. When I struggle again I try to remind myself that I am not always this terribly depressed. I think listening to some melancholic and janusfaced songs can capture such moments because it is an association/memory one has of such moments. Sometimes art can express my feelings way better than I ever could. I like to think about deep questions and it is really stimulating to read literature that comforts me in existential questions. Or listening to music thar describes the pain of life so accurate that it feels calming because your know you are not alone with it.
Finding new art that one enjoys can enrich one's life. Meeting new people, exchanging thoughts, staying open-minded, following events (for me politics and the news) or cultural/societal debates and developments. There is so much one can learn in life and new impressions that one gets every single day.
I hope this might comfort or distract some people here. A lot of people struggle but I think reading some positive takes might lead a way out of negative thought loops and the spiral downwards. Or at least some seconds of distraction of your personal hell.
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