Venting I am so tired

[cptsdfugue]

Everyone in my life says they won't leave me then they leave me. My best friend my other best friend my friends at college even my goddamn dad. I trusted them all with my past and what do they do they just move on and pretend I never existed because I'm not fun enough or a good enough person. My college friends have left me for this one girl who just figured out she was trans and they think it's so much fun to play with her and play dress up and play makeup while I someone who's non binary and transmasc rotting away since 8th grade don't have them to affirm my identity because I wasn't a fun egg to crack because I already knew I was trans (fuck, I hate that egg cracking phrase) and meanwhile I am a corpse of a CPTSD BPD autism adhd anxiety depressed husk who has zero identity. I am so tired of being tired. They're all in the same housing that I got rejected from and they all get to live happily and understand and experience whatever they want in their bodies while I rot away. Why why why does it always have to be me I'm so angry I just want someone anyone to stay

I met a girl I love very much online who loves me back but I'm terrified one day she will leave me too.

I am just so sick and I want to die… :(

I just feel so lost. Please send hugs and love or whatever I don't even know at this point PLEASE say I'm not alone with people leaving me every where I touch every time I reach out my hand I ROT

Bottom picture is how I've been feeling :)

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

My only advice is don't shut her out. Be open with your communication.