• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Acidic_Fries

Acidic_Fries

Suicide Connoisseur
Apr 5, 2026
78
My parents are still alive.

It will devestate them If I will follow through with my ctb plan.

I hate them but for some reason I can't do this to them.
 
Spite

Spite

I wish I never existed.
Aug 20, 2025
687
Loved ones/family/wife/online friends and how devastated they will be. Also the fear of failing my attempt and ending up even worse off.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Musiclover338
N

never mind me

Arcanist
Nov 7, 2022
437
I feel like I don't have any good reasons to either stay alive or ctb. Although I don't think I have any good reason to put up with all the stress of living for another 40 or 50 years with declining health, being bored and not seeing any sense in life seems not to be enough of a reason to overcome SI.
So what keeps me here is not feeling horrible enough for ctb right now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Musiclover338
Musiclover338

Musiclover338

Member
Sep 25, 2024
88
small glimmer of hope things get better. also the lust of money and women if i was super rich alot of problems would be bearable


shallow i know
 
literallynoone

literallynoone

Member
Jul 21, 2026
15
I think my sister would never forgive herself and I can't do that to her
My nephew. The hope that I'll finally make it to Japan. Or Wales. Or Scotland. Or Ireland. The even slimmer hope that I'll ever find love. My best friends.
Otherwise it's stupid little things. The next episode of a show I love, seeing what my character does in the next DnD session, stuff like that.

Right now, it's damn hard to see the point in most of it. But I'm still here. At least for now.
Things like these are the only things that have kept me going past 2023. Hope you get what you want dawg
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

trying ungracefully
Replies
4
Views
206
Recovery
sifp
sifp
mylittlesponge
Replies
8
Views
291
Recovery
Insufficent
Insufficent
sifp
Replies
9
Views
615
Recovery
monotine
monotine
ctb_warrior
Replies
4
Views
204
Recovery
ctb_warrior
ctb_warrior