Discussion Therapy?

[BornToFail]

Hello,
please forgive me if this post is out of place here. I cannot obtain the tools needed to ctb, so I guess you could say I'm giving it one last try until I can, as I live alone for now, but am still sort of under my parents thumb... So I might have a shot for now. So am I allowed to post here?

I wanted to ask this question here, as I figure this is more of a middle ground. Not to negative or positive

What do you think of therapy? Does it work? Is it a scam? Is it overrated?

My thoughts goes as follows:

I think therapy is a good tool for people who have problems that can be fixed with coping skills they might not be able to implement without advice.

Therapists are mediators, due to the nature of the practice certain things they say are not based in reality or even applicable in your life.

If someone goes to a therapist who is at the end of the rope, and likely won't get better they the therapist will not be allowed to fully tell them the realistic outlook on their life.

I think therapy can be a good tool for someone who needs anger management, substance abuse issues,

I don't think therapy is useful for a kid in a emotionally abusive home, as the therapist will play the middle man and tell the kid what he should change so he isn't insulted.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

My personal opinion: I hate therapy. It never helped me at all, I hate that was I forced into it as a child, and it was nothing but a giant waste that ended up causing more harm than not.

Like a lot of people here my problems were never "therapy problems" and therapists never had any special wisdom or anything to say that didn't or wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise.

But ultimately other people's experiences, both positive and negative, aren't really all that relevant. What matters is what your needs are and whether the treatment providers as they present themselves can feasibly meet them.

 

[lachrymost]

Therapy is for people who want / are helped by an empathetic, good listener. They have to be able to afford it too, of course. As far as I understand it (could be wrong), all therapy modalities have similar efficacy, so it seems to me that the commonality is in the interpersonal experience. I would recommend it to people with the money who find talking cathartic.

I hate CBT with a passion, though. Fuck CBT.

I'm doing EMDR therapy right now and I like it better than every other therapy I've done because I get ASMR from the experience. That's the best I can hope for, I guess.

I find it strange that we're supposed to find it laughable that one could "think their way out of depression", yet that's exactly what I'm told to do when I go to therapy. "Focus on the positive and eventually it will become a habit and you will be happy." How the fuck do I do that, when life is overwhelmingly negative as a whole? And what if I manage it and I'm still not happy? I haven't received good answers to those questions yet.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

What do you think of therapy? Does it work? Is it a scam? Is it overrated?

I can work, depending on the person, the therapist, the modality, etc. Therapy as a whole is not a scam, but some forms of it can be, and some therapists are woefully unprepared our outright incompetent, which can end up doing more harm than good and has turned quite a lot of people off therapy. Some modalities are overrated, and "just go to therapy" advice sometimes downplays the issues the patient is dealing with.

In general, I'd recommend giving it a go if you can afford it. Just know that finding a therapist that you click with can take a few tries. If you see a therapist and you don't feel like there's a good relationship there, don't be afraid to say so directly and openly to the therapist. Their work is to help you, and if they're not able to do it for whatever reason, they should be able to refer you to a colleague who might be a better fit for you.

I think therapy is a good tool for people who have problems that can be fixed with coping skills they might not be able to implement without advice.

Some modalities like CBT focus on teaching coping skills, but that is not all there is to therapy. A good psychoanalytic therapist will work with you to identify the root of the issues you're facing, and guide you towards improvement. Coping skills are useful because therapeutic work takes time and effort, so having tools to "keep going" while the work is being done is a good resource, but the aim of therapy shouldn't be to teach you some breathing exercises to get you through the day. Some patients benefit from such tools, but if that's all a therapist is offering, they're not a very good therapist.

Therapists are mediators, due to the nature of the practice certain things they say are not based in reality or even applicable in your life.

I'm not sure what this is referring to? Therapy should be grounded in the specific reality of the patient. If the therapist is going off into fantasy land, they're not doing a good job and you should definitely tell them that what they're saying doesn't seem realistic. They might not be getting their point across clearly, or they might need to reframe/reconsider the approach.

If someone goes to a therapist who is at the end of the rope, and likely won't get better they the therapist will not be allowed to fully tell them the realistic outlook on their life.

Also not sure where this idea comes from. Being "at the end of the rope" and "likely won't get better" are subjective judgments, and while the patient might feel like that's where they're at, the therapist might not necessarily share that view. A good therapist won't lie to the patient, though the patient and the therapist might not always agree on things.

I think therapy can be a good tool for someone who needs anger management, substance abuse issues,

Agreed.

I don't think therapy is useful for a kid in a emotionally abusive home, as the therapist will play the middle man and tell the kid what he should change so he isn't insulted.

Again, a good therapist is not going to do this. You're right that therapy on its own isn't the answer if a child (or an adult, for that matter) is in an abusive environment, because their issues likely stem from the environment. In the case of a child, though, a therapist can intervene and get the proper authorities involved if there's abuse—though their powers are limited to that.

I find it strange that we're supposed to find it laughable that one could "think their way out of depression", yet that's exactly what I'm told to do when I go to therapy. "Focus on the positive and eventually it will become a habit and you will be happy." How the fuck do I do that, when life is overwhelmingly negative as a whole? And what if I manage it and I'm still not happy? I haven't received good answers to those questions yet.

This is a sign of a bad fit. Depression is like fever. It's a sign that something else is going wrong, so focusing on "curing" depression is like focusing on trying to bring down a fever when you're actually suffering from an infection. EMDR's main goal is to reduce stress from PTSD and other traumatic experiences, and as far as I know its effectiveness is questionable at best. It might give you a relaxing "ASMR-like" experience, but that's about as good as EMDR gets.

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

In my experience therapy has never helped me and it is a scam. You pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to have some random person invalidate you. It's not worth the time or the money.

 

[chloramine]

I can work, depending on the person, the therapist, the modality, etc. Therapy as a whole is not a scam, but some forms of it can be, and some therapists are woefully unprepared our outright incompetent, which can end up doing more harm than good and has turned quite a lot of people off therapy. Some modalities are overrated, and "just go to therapy" advice sometimes downplays the issues the patient is dealing with.

In general, I'd recommend giving it a go if you can afford it. Just know that finding a therapist that you click with can take a few tries. If you see a therapist and you don't feel like there's a good relationship there, don't be afraid to say so directly and openly to the therapist. Their work is to help you, and if they're not able to do it for whatever reason, they should be able to refer you to a colleague who might be a better fit for you.

Some modalities like CBT focus on teaching coping skills, but that is not all there is to therapy. A good psychoanalytic therapist will work with you to identify the root of the issues you're facing, and guide you towards improvement. Coping skills are useful because therapeutic work takes time and effort, so having tools to "keep going" while the work is being done is a good resource, but the aim of therapy shouldn't be to teach you some breathing exercises to get you through the day. Some patients benefit from such tools, but if that's all a therapist is offering, they're not a very good therapist.

I'm not sure what this is referring to? Therapy should be grounded in the specific reality of the patient. If the therapist is going off into fantasy land, they're not doing a good job and you should definitely tell them that what they're saying doesn't seem realistic. They might not be getting their point across clearly, or they might need to reframe/reconsider the approach.

Also not sure where this idea comes from. Being "at the end of the rope" and "likely won't get better" are subjective judgments, and while the patient might feel like that's where they're at, the therapist might not necessarily share that view. A good therapist won't lie to the patient, though the patient and the therapist might not always agree on things.

Agreed.

Again, a good therapist is not going to do this. You're right that therapy on its own isn't the answer if a child (or an adult, for that matter) is in an abusive environment, because their issues likely stem from the environment. In the case of a child, though, a therapist can intervene and get the proper authorities involved if there's abuse—though their powers are limited to that.

This is a sign of a bad fit. Depression is like fever. It's a sign that something else is going wrong, so focusing on "curing" depression is like focusing on trying to bring down a fever when you're actually suffering from an infection. EMDR's main goal is to reduce stress from PTSD and other traumatic experiences, and as far as I know its effectiveness is questionable at best. It might give you a relaxing "ASMR-like" experience, but that's about as good as EMDR gets.

This is all very well summed up. I agree therapy can help as long as you get a good therapist who's a good match (there are good therapists who just aren't great fits individually and there's nothing wrong with that). It's also possible that therapy isn't for you for any number of reasons. If you have the means it's definitely worth trying.

 

[Whistea]

I never really got "professional help" for my mental issues, besides taking pills for 11 months. But I gave it a last ditch effort recently. After some calls over a few weeks, I did manage to get a psychotherapy appointment relatively quickly. The therapist told me straight up, that he won't be able to treat me, but he can give me a preliminary evaluation and write a letter of referral, if neccessary. After the talk, he told me I should get into addiction counseling as well as psychotherapeutic and psychiatric treatment ASAP. With his letter of referral and I guess quite a lot of luck, I was able to get an appointment in about a month, when you'd normally have to wait >6 months, if you even get anything at all.
I am really sceptical that she'll be able to help me much or even at all, but since I got lucky enough to get a spot in short notice, I can at least go check it out.