Venting Going to a place where I can get therapy for a year?

[eaturdirt]

I planned to ctb around the middle of June no matter what my parents say. (They know about my suicidality and are firmly against it) I'm 18 and very tired and done with trying, I have horrible memories I deal with every day because of a very toxic relationship, I've been going to therapy since I was twelve and have always felt completely alone. My therapist and mom have found a place where I can stay for a year with people from around my age, where I also get therapy for all the things I'm dealing with. I'm really stuck because I don't know if I should do it. I'm so set on ctb soon. I also feel like I should try it out for my parents and other family that love me very much. It's just so hard to live with these struggles and these memories. I probably have a long life ahead of me, but am I strong enough to continue living? I don't know what to do.

My mom obviously wants me to do it and give it a chance, maybe I should. Then after I can still decide if I want to ctb and I could also be proud of the fact that I tried.

 

[Helween]

Don't let someone else decide for you, if you think it's worth it and want to give it a shot then why not but remember that it's a year(without complete freedom i believe?), if you're done and think it's not gonna change anything then it's your call as well.

 

[eaturdirt]

Don't let someone else decide for you, if you think it's worth it and want to give it a shot then why not but remember that it's a year(without complete freedom i believe?), if you're done and think it's not gonna change anything then it's your call as well.

You're right. I'm just kind of in my head a lot and I'm not really able to make good decisions. My mom really wants me to try it out though, I want her to be happy too. After I'm done there I could maybe decide if I still want to ctb. I can at least be proud of myself that I tried something.

 

[Helween]

You're right. I'm just kind of in my head a lot and I'm not really able to make good decisions. My mom really wants me to try it out though, I want her to be happy too. After I'm done there I could maybe decide if I still want to ctb. I can at least be proud of myself that I tried something.

Then i can only encourage and support you through your choice, it's really sweet of you to be willing to try for you mom.

 

[Coconteppi]

If you think that it could possibly help then I think you should go. As I'm sure you've heard a million times, Ctb is a permanent "solution". What more is a year if it could possibly mean that you're able to find reason to live out the rest of your life. I'm not sure what you have been through or how difficult it is. At the end of the day it's one year of therapy to the possible ~80 years left of life with a will to live. Or you could think of it as a single year vs the infinite nature of death. It's your choice entirely but those are my two cents lol! :)

Hope you're able to feel confident and find joy in whatever you decide! :)

 

[Rubypie41]

What I would say is that you are very very young. I'm not playing down what you're going through in the slightest, but at only 18 years of age there is every chance you could get through your current situation and come out of the other side to go on an live a happy fulfilling and bright future. You do not know what is around the corner and in a few years from now you could be looking back and thinking I'm so glad I didn't end my life.

You don't have any physical issues from what you've mentioned, so if your physical health is good then you have every chance of healing mentally.

I'm not apposed to an individual ending their life in the right circumstances, but I also believe life is precious and we should exhaust all options to get better where possible.

Once all those options have been exhausted and you still feel the same, then that's completely your choice at the end.

1 year of your life at the tender age of 18 is a very short time in the grand scheme of things.

I myself suffer from incurable physical conditions, but if these were cured I would without a doubt want to go on living. I've also suffered with depression and anxiety on and off all my life, but they were the easiest to overcome.

There is so much hope for you I believe, so I think you should give life a chance. Just my opinion of course, so you or anyone are free to agree or disagree.

End of the day you can opt to go whenever you want, so why not give it a shot and see where you are in a years time or so.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.

 

[eaturdirt]

If you think that it could possibly help then I think you should go. As I'm sure you've heard a million times, Ctb is a permanent "solution". What more is a year if it could possibly mean that you're able to find reason to live out the rest of your life. I'm not sure what you have been through or how difficult it is. At the end of the day it's one year of therapy to the possible ~80 years left of life with a will to live. Or you could think of it as a single year vs the infinite nature of death. It's your choice entirely but those are my two cents lol! :)

Hope you're able to feel confident and find joy in whatever you decide! :)

Thank you for saying this :) I don't know if it's going to help but I think I should try for the family I have around me that loves me. It's the least I can do I think. Everything is really difficult at the moment but if I go through with it they'll place me there very soon. You're so right though, what's a year? I'm going to try it out

 

[Coconteppi]

Thank you for saying this :) I don't know if it's going to help but I think I should try for the family I have around me that loves me. It's the least I can do I think. Everything is really difficult at the moment but if I go through with it they'll place me there very soon. You're so right though, what's a year? I'm going to try it out

I'm happy to hear! I really hope the therapy goes well! Be sure to do you're best to go into it with a positive outlook. You got it! I'm wishing you the best! :)

 

[eaturdirt]

What I would say is that you are very very young. I'm not playing down what you're going through in the slightest, but at only 18 years of age there is every chance you could get through your current situation and come out of the other side to go on an live a happy fulfilling and bright future. You do not know what is around the corner and in a few years from now you could be looking back and thinking I'm so glad I didn't end my life.

You don't have any physical issues from what you've mentioned, so if your physical health is good then you have every chance of healing mentally.

I'm not apposed to an individual ending their life in the right circumstances, but I also believe life is precious and we should exhaust all options to get better where possible.

Once all those options have been exhausted and you still feel the same, then that's completely your choice at the end.

1 year of your life at the tender age of 18 is a very short time in the grand scheme of things.

I myself suffer from incurable physical conditions, but if these were cured I would without a doubt want to go on living. I've also suffered with depression and anxiety on and off all my life, but they were the easiest to overcome.

There is so much hope for you I believe, so I think you should give life a chance. Just my opinion of course, so you or anyone are free to agree or disagree.

End of the day you can opt to go whenever you want, so why not give it a shot and see where you are in a years time or so.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.

Thank you for your words. I'm going to try it out and I'll just go into it with no expectations. It's the least I could do for my parents that are worried sick about me. It's definitely going to be hard because everything tells me I should end it, but you're right, i should definitely give it a shot. Maybe I'll find my joy back. 1 year is nothing, especially if it's going to be spend healing. I should try out all the options first. I wish you the best with whatever you decide too, I hope everything becomes a little easier for you, especially with your physical conditions. I'm definitely going to re read your message again and again :)

I'm happy to hear! I really hope the therapy goes well! Be sure to do your best to go into it with a positive outlook. You got it! I'm wishing you the best! :)

I don't know if this is weird to say but you have such a sweet energy ^^ I hope it goes well too! I wish you the best too and if you ever want to talk about anything you can always shoot me a message :)

 

[Coconteppi]

Thank you for saying this :) I don't know if it's going to help but I think I should try for the family I have around me that loves me. It's the least I can do I think. Everything is really difficult at the moment but if I go through with it they'll place me there very soon. You're so right though, what's a year? I'm going to try it out

I'd also like to say thank you. I am planning to leave very soon and it is really nice to have gotten the chance to help someone else choose help over leaving. You seem like a very kind person, and I hope you get to do incredible things. I really do hope it all goes really well. :)

 

[4_science]

You might find people your age in similar situation and feel less alone.

 

[Rubypie41]

Thank you for your words. I'm going to try it out and I'll just go into it with no expectations. It's the least I could do for my parents that are worried sick about me. It's definitely going to be hard because everything tells me I should end it, but you're right, i should definitely give it a shot. Maybe I'll find my joy back. 1 year is nothing, especially if it's going to be spend healing. I should try out all the options first. I wish you the best with whatever you decide too, I hope everything becomes a little easier for you, especially with your physical conditions. I'm definitely going to re read your message again and again :)

I don't know if this is weird to say but you have such a sweet energy ^^ I hope it goes well too! I wish you the best too and if you ever want to talk about anything you can always shoot me a message :)

Exactly, 1 year is nothing. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself, don't over think things and don't worry about what others think.

If there anything I've learned from life it's to do the thing's that makes 'you' happy. Not sure what your hobbies and interests are, but try putting your energy into something positive you can focus on.

Surround yourself with like minded people, be kind to people, engage and talk with people, show interest on what others are doing with their lives, encourage, support and show interest.

Plan ahead too, think about what you want out of life, how you can make that happen, go travelling, create memories etc.

There are so many positives in life, but we put too much pressure on ourselves and dwell on the negatives unnecessarily. Go for walks, listen to positive podcasts, try joining a gym and exercising as that does wonders for both your physical and mental health.

We are all going to die one day, so make the most of it whilst your young, fit, able bodied and healthy.

I'm only 41 years old, (which is old to you ha!), but I have enough life life experience to say that thing's can and most often do get better, especially if your main issues are circumstancil and mental health related.

You've got this. Do it for your parents, do it for your friends and most importantly do it for you!

Sending big hugs

 

[eaturdirt]

I'd also like to say thank you. I am planning to leave very soon and it is really nice to have gotten the chance to help someone else choose help over leaving. You seem like a very kind person, and I hope you get to do incredible things. I really do hope it all goes really well. :)

I wish you well on everything you decide to do! I hope you find that peace you're looking for, you definitely deserve it <3

Exactly, 1 year is nothing. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself, don't over think things and don't worry about what others think.

If there anything I've learned from life it's to do the thing's that makes 'you' happy. Not sure what your hobbies and interests are, but try putting your energy into something positive you can focus on.

Surround yourself with like minded people, be kind to people, engage and talk with people, show interest on what others are doing with their lives, encourage, support and show interest.

Plan ahead too, think about what you want out of life, how you can make that happen, go travelling, create memories etc.

There are so many positives in life, but we put too much pressure on ourselves and dwell on the negatives unnecessarily. Go for walks, listen to positive podcasts, try joining a gym and exercising as that does wonders for both your physical and mental health.

We are all going to die one day, so make the most of it whilst your young, fit, able bodied and healthy.

I'm only 41 years old, (which is old to you ha!), but I have enough life life experience to say that thing's can and most often do get better, especially if your main issues are circumstancil and mental health related.

You've got this. Do it for your parents, do it for your friends and most importantly do it for you!

Sending big hugs

Sending you big hugs too and thank you for your wonderful tips and advice! :) I'm definitely going to look into exercise and hobbies more, I love to be creative. I'll do this for everyone you mentioned and also a little bit for you as well :) I'm hopeful that this will go well.